An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.
Lundy Bancroft
Related Power might feel tasty and good in the moment, but it will never be satisfying, never fill you up. Y... KAREN SALMANSOHN The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that... LUNDY BANCROFT An ignorant is the one who hurts you when you accompany him and insults you when you leave him. He w... ZEESHAN NAJAFI No matter how bad you feel, God never sees you as a hopeless person. He may see you as a sinner who ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can mak... BOB MARLEY A man needs to look, not down, but up to standards set so much above his ordinary self as to make hi... IRVING BABBITT He must become crazy like you, he must be a fool, he must allow you to laugh at him. Then you will n... OSHO We never talk about racing much as far as this (Nextel Cup) goes. I've never been it before, so ther... DALE BLANEY if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it... CHARLES BUKOWSKI God made you for His pleasure. And He made you intrinsically needy and dependent on His unspeakable ... JOHN CROWDER It's not as much physical, I think, as it is emotional. You can get emotionally drained, but you can... MIKE KRZYZEWSKI 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON You will never know how much you can accomplish until you try. Never stop trying. Your miracle will ... LAILAH GIFTYAKITA No matter how bad you feel, God never sees you as a reckless person. He may see you as a sinner who ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR It never stops. He brings everybody up. When guys are down, he is the first one to put a smile on yo... DANILO PINNOCK Have you ever watched kids on a playground? There will be one kid taller than all the rest. He’s o... JAXON REED You have to give him a little room -- not too much room -- but you have to give him enough room that... EARL CALLOWAY He has so much going for him. Not just on the mat. I've tried to tell him that athletics is somethin... JEFF STOVER Be a wife of whom he can make no complaint, Margaret. That is the best advice I can give to you. You... PHILIPPA GREGORY YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. LUNDY BANCROFT Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He di... DALE CARNEGIE You have to be physical with him. You can't back down. No matter what he does to other defensive bac... ROD HOOD To lovers out there.... If he tells you “ Stop working, stop studying, stop dreaming, s... DE PHILOSOPHER DJ KYOS As the uneasiness and reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and a... C.S. LEWIS You should always aim to be your own mouse, Lieam. In fact...you already are. You are not so quick t... DAVID PETERSEN I needed him to know how I felt so I just kissed him as long as he would let me. I used to think tal... KATIE KACVINSKY He was so much like his dad. Not just physically, but temperament, too. He was never a mean horse, b... GUS KOCH blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much... JACK CANFIELD The movies make the brooding guy the hero – the guy with problems the guy who carries a gun, the g... E. LOCKHART He that has not religion to govern his morality, is not a dram better than my mastiff-dog; so long a... JOHN SELDEN I want to know how long we have before he rises. If I cut off his head, will he stay down longer?”... MICHAEL J. SULLIVAN Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you will just not get back what you give...be who you are and ... N. S. COLE All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how ... CASEY STENGEL Having him around is so much fun. He knows exactly how to help you, no matter what you are strugglin... ASHLEY ROBISON People will tell you that you can't do it, no matter what you are trying to do, so you just have... MADISEN BEATY Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibilit... LISA WINGATE So long as the man with ambition is a failure, the world will tell him to let go of his ideal; but w... CHRISTIAN D. LARSON A smile costs nothing but gives much. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts fo... OMAR ASHRAF EZZELDIN Look at his track record. How does he do it? He just has an air about him. Players respect him. They... GAR HEARD So yeah, a good director will be able to listen and hear everything, but have a confident vision of ... CHRISTIAN BALE There are no real personalities apart from God. Until you have given up your self to Him you will no... C.S. LEWIS This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal t... MARILYN MONROE Overall, your want to present yourself to your child as an ally, empathetic to his feelings, and res... HILARY FLOWER And he gave him none inheritance in it, no, not so much as to set his foot on: yet he promised that ... BIBLE Just because you keep something a secret doesn't mean it never happened, no matter how much you want... JODI PICOULT I love you," he whispered, and that was the moment he knew what he was going to do. When you loved s... JODI PICOULT He helped so much with the young guys. He was just easy to talk to and would give you a straight ans... LARRY ROTHSCHILD He just passed 48 hours. If he's laying down, he's not doing a great deal of movement, exertion, so ... GLEN CASTLEBURY I don't think I've ever heard him yell in (the wrestling room) and most coaches get you going by yel... KYLE MARTINEZ Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would l... NEIL GAIMAN All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how ... WAYNE DYER You never know how much of it is him just trying to fill a role thats being created or if its si... BRANDEN STEINECKERT Trust him. And when you have done that, you are living the life of grace. No matter what happens to ... ROBERT FARRAR CAPON He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight yo... ROBERT D. HARE You were always saying you were gonna shoot him," he mutters, but it's kind of half-hearted. "Stupid... RICHARD RIDER And this is how things go. If you are too miserly, he will spend too much because that will become j... OSHO If you think it is when you have enough that you can give to others, you will never give. No man can... ALALE ANTHONY Keep in mind that no matter how perfectly you get your life in order, you will never be rid of all y... WAYNE DYER Fortunately, the writers are clever enough to never really answer that question and, hopefully, they... KYLE MACLACHLAN Trying to build a team over the course of the winter to put on the field is really just half the job... BILLY BEANE No matter how strict the measures to control the movement will be, these birds can be easily conceal... YUKOL LIMLAEMTHONG I can do oblivion, you know. I can do it better than him. I'd like to see how he likes it if I just ... MELINA MARCHETTA If I tell Dad he has a problem, he’ll think I hate him. How can I hurt him more? He just lost ever... KODY KEPLINGER I just see a guy that's a football player, that has outstanding ability, who's trying to be as good ... TOM COUGHLIN Time will make it worse! You're...the other half of his soul. He's never going to get over you. And ... JAMIE MCGUIRE Start by pulling him out of the fire and hoping that he will forget the smell. He was supp... CAITLYN SIEHL The best way to learn about something? Be afraid of it. When you are afraid, it will give you an opp... ELIZABETH ALRAUNE I don't think people can be mad at Nick or hold anything against him, because he almost makes fun of... IVAN REITMAN The secret of success is to try always to improve yourself no matter where you are or what your situ... JONATHAN A. DUBLIN He will know how much his dad loved him. He loved him so much, and that's what I want him to always ... MAE RHYNES A person who has never tasted sweetness and you give him a little sugar, he will thank you and he wi... OSMAN AHSAN SHEIKH Feast of Vincent de Paul, Founder of the Congregation of the Mission (Lazarists), 1660 If you hav... MEISTER ECKHART We always have concerns about him coming to work but he loved his work so much, he was going to do i... DANIEL MERIDETH And as you come to know Him, you're becoming like Him. The more you are like Him, the more different... CRAIG GROESCHEL He doesn't know this now, but in the years to come he will, again and again, test Harold's claims of... HANYA YANAGIHARA You cannot collaborate with another person toward some common end unless you know him. How can you k... SIDNEY JOURARD The thing about God is that He will always meet you where you're at, and you don't have to hold back... DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Because he possesses something that is worth more than any amount of intelligence - an honest and fa... IVAN GONCHAROV No, dear, but speaking of Father reminded me how much I miss him, how much I owe him, and how faithf... LOUISA MAY ALCOTT It will have to be resolved internally. There is a view in Iran that if you give him enough rope, he... ALI ANSARI Crooks stood up from his bunk and faced her. "I had enough," he said coldly. "You got no rights comi... JOHN STEINBECK Man is made to adore and to obey: but if you will not command him, if you give him nothing to worshi... BENJAMIN DISRAELI No matter how many times you get knocked down, keep getting back up. God sees your resolve. He sees ... JOEL OSTEEN Sometimes it's hard for us to tell (how much it's bothering him). He says it's not so bad, (but) we ... JEFF FREEMAN If you ever feel like you have no friends, than make friendship with a kid, what he/she will give yo... JIBS Once you Ascend, you'll get all your memories back!" Isabelle shouted at him. "If I Ascend, it ... CASSANDRA CLARE As soon as you meet him, you understand he is sincere, he is real and he is passionate. He's willing... BARBARA COE No matter how big a nation is, it is no stronger that its weakest people, and as long as you keep a ... MARIAN ANDERSON But in reality, with Mr. Ellison there is an essence of probity about him; unlike Dorian Grey, him a... AVRA AMAR FILION I'm a big Yankees fan, so I saw a lot of him. I can see why he's had so much success. He located rea... JOSH BARFIELD In life, you shall meet a person who is so much like you. You will have so much love and respect tha... SASHIL KUMAR Here's an idea, Rosie. Why don't you just tell Alex how you feel? Why don't you just finally ... CECELIA AHERN I shrug, trapped. I don’t want to lose him. In spite of all his demands, his need to control, his ... E.L. JAMES He has a gun for an arm, but the things he can do with his legs. For one thing, he can fly. Number t... BRIAN DAWKINS It is precisely the magnitude of his victory that places on him a much greater responsibility becaus... CAYETANO LLOBET As he clutched her in his shaking hands and wept against her, he whispered into her ear, the words t... CHARLOTTE FEATHERSTONE I don't forgive him," I said. "Hell, no, you don't. And why should you? So he can feel better? ... KELLEY ARMSTRONG He used to hide his true self because he feared people wouldn’t like him, or would judge him for b... SCOTT STABILE Just stay in his face, ... Stay close enough to him so you can get in there and try to knock the bal... DERRICK BLAYLOCK A vacation should be just long enough that you're boss misses you, and not long enough for him to di... SOURCE UNKNOWN
More Lundy Bancroft
Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitleme... LUNDY BANCROFT The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “H... LUNDY BANCROFT The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but ar... LUNDY BANCROFT YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. LUNDY BANCROFT Alcohol does not a change a person’s fundamental value system. People’s personalities when intox... LUNDY BANCROFT Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises... LUNDY BANCROFT The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day,... LUNDY BANCROFT Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some wom... LUNDY BANCROFT When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusi... LUNDY BANCROFT One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men s... LUNDY BANCROFT IN ONE IMPORTANT WAY, an abusive man works like a magician: His tricks largely rely on getting you t... LUNDY BANCROFT The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-do... LUNDY BANCROFT It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the insta... LUNDY BANCROFT The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that... LUNDY BANCROFT Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he were ... LUNDY BANCROFT There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them name... LUNDY BANCROFT It [Calvinism] established a religion without a prelate, a
government without a king. GEORGE BANCROFT The friendship between me and you I will not compare to a chair;
for that the rains might rust, or ... GEORGE BANCROFT By common consent gray hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect that can never excite ... GEORGE BANCROFT In nine times out of ten, the slanderous tongue belongs to a disappointed person. GEORGE BANCROFT Dishonesty is so grasping it would deceive God himself, were it possible. GEORGE BANCROFT Avarice is the vice of declining years. GEORGE BANCROFT The public is wiser than the wisest critic. GEORGE BANCROFT Beauty is but the sensible image of the Infinite. Like truth and justice it lives within us; like vi... GEORGE BANCROFT Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the infinite. GEORGE BANCROFT Conscience is the mirror of our souls, which represents the errors of our lives in their full shape. GEORGE BANCROFT Where Christ erecteth his church, the divell in the same
church-yarde will have his chappell. RICHARD BANCROFT Conscience is the mirror of our souls, which represents the errors of our lives in their full shape... GEORGE BANCROFT Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for... GEORGE BANCROFT Life is here only to be lived so that we can, through life, earn the right to death, which to me is ... ANNE BANCROFT I was at a point where I was ready to say I am what I am because of what I am and if you like me I'm... ANNE BANCROFT Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for ... GEORGE BANCROFT Conscience is the mirror of our souls, which represents the errors of our lives in their full shape GEORGE BANCROFT Ok.. So are you goin’a let him bluetube your tweeter? BELLA BANCROFT The judges knew us from last year. There were high expectations this year. With much of the team new... ANITA LUNDY We are looking for mentors and sponsors. It's not a cheap competition. We are not funded by the dist... ANITA LUNDY With winning a significant award, it speaks volumes about the team. There's a lot more to accomplish... ANITA LUNDY It was three days of non-stop competition. It was a 12- to 16-hour daily competition and it truly is... ANITA LUNDY We were able to make it to three schools. ANITA LUNDY We've already met for next year. ANITA LUNDY Of the district teams, we were a natural mentor. We spent hours on the phone with the different team... ANITA LUNDY Onion soup sustains. The process of making it is somewhat like the process of learning to love. It r... RONNI LUNDY Sometimes you just want to change your status from Single to Stupid. ATTICA LUNDY If the right doors are not opening for you, create your own opportunities because YOU possess the ke... ATTICA LUNDY Sometimes when I get impatient, I just want to skip to the end of it all....get to the bottom line..... ATTICA LUNDY GOD says there is cake on the counter. I know I didn't go to the store and I didn't see anyone leave... ATTICA LUNDY The character of a man determines his destiny. ATTICA LUNDY Far be it for me to rain on your parade. You've pissed on enough people already! ATTICA LUNDY If you sleep on the game, the game will sleep on you. ATTICA LUNDY It is impossible to stand on a lie. ATTICA LUNDY I thought that was just a great college basketball game. Both teams played with heart and soul. BART LUNDY This was a great college basketball game. Both teams left it all out on the floor tonight. I felt li... BART LUNDY We are not playing with the same intensity and effort that we were earlier in the season. We could s... BART LUNDY Those threes broke our back. He hit those and we had a couple go in and out. BART LUNDY It's hard to guard all of them. They've got five or six guys who can beat you. That's why they're so... BART LUNDY We've got a lot of kids going through the conference tournament for the first time. We've got to kee... BART LUNDY [The game against BC] is real important, ... A lot of guys feel it's a big challenge that awaits us. WALI LUNDY We don't feel like we're the team that everybody saw last Saturday. But, you can't really redeem you... WALI LUNDY He's a magician on the field. He's the heart and soul of our team. He goes out there and puts it all... WALI LUNDY I am glad to get out of here with a win. This game got really sloppy and it looked like we were star... BART LUNDY It's disappointing, but you've got to learn to stay encouraged with things like this, ... Stuff happ... WALI LUNDY That was pretty exciting, ... To see my jersey hanging there. WALI LUNDY When it happened, it was kind of like, 'All right, Maybe I'll go to the sidelines and it will just g... WALI LUNDY I think the mood of the team is wanting to go out there and prove themselves, WALI LUNDY We had a lot of opportunities, and opportunities you need to capitalize on, ... You don't capitalize... WALI LUNDY It was tough, but I was really young when it happened, ... It's part of life. It's something that ma... WALI LUNDY I felt pretty good on Saturday. It was a coaches' decision. It was their call. Can't complain about ... WALI LUNDY We strongly believe in the convenience and global reach of the virtual marketplace. Unfortunately, a... MATT LUNDY Unfortunately, in the country and in the county we're losing veterans every day. MATT LUNDY The [most] exciting part of this case is that we're actually going to have a reduction directly to t... ALBRO LUNDY III We were in the air for about 30 minutes to see if we could spot anyone moving in a suspicious fashio... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY The [most] exciting part of this case is that we're actually going to have a reduction directly to t... ALBRO LUNDY III But as to its impact on our operational effectiveness and what's already underway here, it's negligi... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY I'm pleased to say that the occupants of the vehicle, although somewhat frightened by the whole expe... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY You deal with it a person at a time, you listen to what they have to say, offer support where you ca... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY This is their version of events and we accept that and we are now going to let the investigation det... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY That led to several shots being fired directly at the vehicle in an effort to disable it. MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY The crew who were in the vehicle would have been a little shaken up, but they've carried on with the... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY It's very sad news. We were not aware that a young child was among the bystanders at the attack site... MAJ. SCOTT LUNDY