Boys are idiots.

Girls are idiots, too, of course, but boys are a special kind of idiot.

A girl, for instance, will vote for a boy in an election, or go to a movie that's about a boy, or buy a book that features a boy hero (or villain). Boys are much less likely to return the favor. They can't wrap their feeble minds around the idea that this girl might have anything in common with them. It's like they can't recognize girls as human beings.


Josh Lieb

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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
JOSH BILLINGS
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
JOSH BILLINGS
Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
JOSH BILLINGS
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
JOSH BILLINGS
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
JOSH BILLINGS
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
JOSH BILLINGS
There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is--twins.
JOSH BILLINGS
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
JOSH BILLINGS
It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can't dodge...
JOSH BILLINGS
Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
JOSH BILLINGS
Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool
JOSH BILLINGS
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed
JOSH BILLINGS
There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly en...
JOSH BILLINGS
Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.
JOSH BILLINGS
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
JOSH BILLINGS
A slander is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.
JOSH BILLINGS
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I ...
JOSH BILLINGS
The less we know the more we suspect.
JOSH BILLINGS
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnet, the journey of life, is to take their heart in...
JOSH BILLINGS
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
JOSH BILLINGS
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed ...
JOSH BILLINGS
The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.
JOSH BILLINGS
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy...
JOSH BILLINGS
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it ge...
JOSH BILLINGS
Our necessities are few but our wants are endless.
JOSH BILLINGS
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
JOSH BILLINGS
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
JOSH BILLINGS
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
JOSH GROBAN
Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will ...
JOSH HARTNETT
If you write a post and put it on a blog, that's a historical document. If you change your template,...
JOSH GREENBERG
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
JOSH BILLINGS
The language that we use now impacts on the ability to vote, it impacts on the marketplace; instead ...
JOSH HOMME
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit n...
JOSH BILLINGS
I've teamed up with PetSmart Charities to celebrate the five million homeless pets who've fo...
JOSH DUHAMEL
The reflexive allergy to L.A. that a lot of New Yorkers have, I feel like it's kind of nonsense.
JOSH RADNOR
After a brief period in which I had let many a Southern Californian convince me that it was all '...
JOSH RADNOR
Everyone feels a sense of ownership in creating a Lynn Shelton movie. Lynn chooses amazing people - ...
JOSH PAIS
Working with amazing people, you continue to learn and develop yourself, as an actor and as a person...
JOSH HUTCHERSON
My grandfather was one of the most amazing Baptist ministers in history, he was unbelievable. He was...
JOSH HENDERSON
I've always considered myself a workaholic... The way I work, I have to turn myself upside down ...
JOSH HOMME
When I was on 'All My Children,' we did a thing for 'Seventeen Magazine' where a gir...
JOSH DUHAMEL
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
JOSH BILLINGS
Everybody was trying to put me in action movies and heroic roles, and I wanted to find more complex ...
JOSH HARTNETT
At a certain point, even if the one alpha male is dominant, at a certain point there's a younger...
JOSH LUCAS
I secretly enjoy being alone - hiking alone, skiing alone, walking along the beach alone, going to m...
JOSH ZUCKERMAN
No matter how devastating our struggles, disappointments, and troubles are, they are only temporary....
JOSH MCDOWELL
You hear about quality time a lot but I really think that quantity time with a person is really what...
JOSH TURNER
Anyone with sincere religious beliefs cannot say that all religions are true. That is so illogical i...
JOSH MCDOWELL
I like both athletic girls and girly girls. It depends on their personality. I like girls who can go...
JOSH HUTCHERSON
The holidays are a way to get away from the pain of the year, creating something people can laugh at...
JOSH GORDON