Larry David quote: "Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad."

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've stil...
LARRY DAVID

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood...
LARRY DAVID

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
LARRY DAVID

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a wo...
LARRY DAVID

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the street...
LARRY DAVID

I'm a walking, talking enigma.
LARRY DAVID

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and le...
LARRY DAVID

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
LARRY DAVID

When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these ...
LARRY DAVID

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
LARRY DAVID

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, ...
LARRY DAVID

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
LARRY DAVID

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as ser...
LARRY DAVID

I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
LARRY DAVID

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
LARRY DAVID

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
LARRY DAVID

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting f...
LARRY DAVID

I don't like to make a big splash anyway.
LARRY DAVID

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
LARRY DAVID

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
LARRY DAVID

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen ...
LARRY DAVID

All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my lif...
LARRY DAVID

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
LARRY DAVID

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that ...
LARRY DAVID

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
LARRY DAVID

Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full hea...
LARRY DAVID

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's n...
LARRY DAVID

I'm cranky.
LARRY DAVID

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next doo...
LARRY DAVID

Women love a self-confident bald man.
LARRY DAVID

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamon...
LARRY DAVID

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
LARRY DAVID

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
LARRY DAVID

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never o...
LARRY DAVID

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
LARRY DAVID

I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small t...
LARRY DAVID

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure tha...
LARRY DAVID

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable.
LARRY DAVID

I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running f...
LARRY DAVID

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
LARRY DAVID

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
LARRY DAVID

I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes whe...
LARRY DAVID

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to ...
LARRY DAVID

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.
LARRY DAVID

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way...
LARRY DAVID

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
LARRY DAVID

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I would...
LARRY DAVID

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man ...
LARRY DAVID

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
LARRY DAVID

The biggest part of it is editing. It takes longer to edit one episode than to shoot it and write it...
LARRY DAVID

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want, some vanil...
LARRY DAVID

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume i...
LARRY DAVID

No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I ...
LARRY DAVID

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ... Seinfeld.
LARRY DAVID

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
LARRY DAVID

Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so y...
LARRY DAVID

I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed ab...
LARRY DAVID

I have reservations about everything I do.
LARRY DAVID

The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot f...
LARRY DAVID

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, beca...
LARRY DAVID

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
LARRY DAVID

If they were pictures of the Yankees of the past 50 years, I'd do just as well.
LARRY DAVID

She didn't even tell me! ... She told my assistant!
LARRY DAVID

I aspire to be like that character. He's honest. It's the things I'm thinking but not saying.
LARRY DAVID

It is only when the partisan shouting stops that we can hear each other's voices and concerns.
LARRY HOGAN

The human species really could have faced global thermonuclear war. During seventy years of Cold War...
LARRY NIVEN

The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris.
LARRY WALL

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
LARRY GELBART

My grandfather was an autoworker, and I have a weapon he manufactured to protect himself from the co...
LARRY PAGE

The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and friendship. A true friend w...
LARRY FLYNT

I take big risks, but I'm not reckless about it.
LARRY CHARLES

I would consider myself more a passionate centrist.
LARRY WILMORE

Sometimes I'd say what's bad for the country is good for my business, unfortunately.
LARRY WILMORE

The first show I worked on was 'In Living Color.' I think 'The Daily Show' was the c...
LARRY WILMORE

You never know in TV - sometimes you're on at the wrong time at the wrong place. Sometimes you d...
LARRY WILMORE

I'll stop talking about race when people stop being racist.
LARRY WILMORE

I really love having conversations and deconstructing things. I don't mind not having a laugh ev...
LARRY WILMORE

My joke is that three black people watch 'The Daily Show' at any given time. So if I'm w...
LARRY WILMORE

I think the biggest thing is voice. Whose voice is it? Who gets to control the narrative?
LARRY WILMORE

People aren't autonomous creatures. They're under a lot of pressure themselves.
LARRY WILMORE

There are tragedies that happen all the time in America, but there are certain types of tragedies th...
LARRY WILMORE

If you look at somebody like Sam Bee, she got to create her own thing without any expectations that ...
LARRY WILMORE

When you use the word 'fair' in television, you're already in a fantasy world. Nothing i...
LARRY WILMORE

I'm not the type of person to have a schadenfreude.
LARRY WILMORE

I always said I'm not disappointed with Obama because I voted for him because he was black, and ...
LARRY WILMORE

When you're taking chances, you know it's not going to please everybody.
LARRY WILMORE

The thing that's worked for me is having as much of a connection to the material as possible. An...
LARRY WILMORE

The last thing I would ever do is try to become a network programmer.
LARRY WILMORE

Salt Lake City gave me a lot of surprises. How progressive the city actually is, for instance, compa...
LARRY WILMORE

Maybe I'll write an episode of 'Black-ish' about a guy being fired in late-night.
LARRY WILMORE

I don't think I ever intend to provoke outrage, but I don't mind being provocative in conten...
LARRY WILMORE

I was taught from a very early age that I had to work twice as hard to get half as much. That was th...
LARRY WILMORE

You have to stay alert. You've got to keep raising your game.
LARRY WILMORE

I was an athlete, so I hung out with the jocks. I was smart, so I hung out with the nerdy kids. I wa...
LARRY WILMORE

I have a free voice. I have a free mind. I have freedom of expression.
LARRY WILMORE

One out of three jobs in Washington is tied to trade.
LARRY WILLIAMS

It's our job as economic developers in the state to make sure any prospect receives all availabl...
LARRY WILLIAMS

The next time you see an outside day with a down close lower than the previous day, don't get sc...
LARRY WILLIAMS

What you will be looking for is a day that closes above the prior day's high and most likely ...
LARRY WILLIAMS

Rock and Roll has no beginning and no end for it is the very pulse of life itself.
LARRY WILLIAMS

My goal would be to make Frank Capra-type films about real people, how they define their reality.
LARRY WILCOX

I've been very selective in what I did and didn't do.
LARRY WILCOX

The literary aspect of the film business excites me, but show business in general doesn't take a...
LARRY WILCOX

Everyone in business is tenacious and extremely aggressive. If you're not a 'now' person...
LARRY WILCOX

I love to act, but business is more interesting because it's more competitive and involves more ...
LARRY WILCOX

I guess I'm just a frustrated cowboy.
LARRY WILCOX

I owe the public a good performance, the best I can give. We really bust our chops on 'CHiPs'...
LARRY WILCOX

I learned a lesson that I don't ever want to be a CEO.
LARRY WILCOX

I've always felt that children are the flowers of our future.
LARRY WILCOX

I was raised on a ranch in Wyoming, and I've been riding horses most of my life.
LARRY WILCOX

I don't mind talking about 'what might have been,' but I am not one to doubt or regret m...
LARRY WILCOX

The film business was a great lesson in business combat and what it takes to survive.
LARRY WILCOX

I just didn't realize how powerful 'CHiPs' was.
LARRY WILCOX

A lot of people in film run around with a facade and use the right vocabulary and think they're ...
LARRY WILCOX

It's like with a girl: it's more fun to meet and slowly, gradually learn things about each o...
LARRY WILCOX

Exposing your ignorance is how you get somebody to embrace you.
LARRY WILCOX

Life can be a bore if you're constantly walking sidewalks instead of a tightrope once in a while...
LARRY WILCOX

Dentistry was an ego trip, and acting is a personal need. Usually it's the reverse, and I honest...
LARRY WILCOX

Family is very important to me because that is the footprint we perpetuate. That is, the ripple in t...
LARRY WILCOX

I have learned a great deal in my life, and DeMolay helped me to learn that character and integrity ...
LARRY WILCOX

I'm very candid.
LARRY WILCOX

Somebody out there is going to do something that's far more surprising than anything that I woul...
LARRY WALL

Some of modern engineering is necessary to good art. But I think of myself is a cultural artist.
LARRY WALL

Perl was designed to work more like a natural language. It's a little more complicated but there...
LARRY WALL

If you're a large corporation, you can afford to pay the money to register patents, but if you&#...
LARRY WALL

I'm never satisfied because I've been always interested in too many things and I always want...
LARRY WALL

I'm just paid to do whatever I want to do. Some of the time it's development, and some of th...
LARRY WALL

I think the way IBM has embraced the open source philosophy has been quite astonishing, but gratifyi...
LARRY WALL

To be a good artist, you have to serve the work of art and allow it to be what it is supposed to be.
LARRY WALL

Many days I don't write any code at all, and some days I spend all day writing code.
LARRY WALL

Hubris itself will not let you be an artist.
LARRY WALL

I think operating systems work best if they're free and open. Particular applications are more l...
LARRY WALL

I still drive my 1977 Honda Accord. The paint is almost all worn off. It's still running.
LARRY WALL

There is no schedule. We are all volunteers, so we get it done when we get it done. Perl 5 still wor...
LARRY WALL

I talked about becoming stupid, but I've always been stupid. Fortunately I've been just smar...
LARRY WALL

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to c...
LARRY WALL

Post-Modernism was a reaction against Modernism. It came quite early to music and literature, and a ...
LARRY WALL

Programmers can be lazy.
LARRY WALL

For me, writing is a love-hate relationship.
LARRY WALL

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
LARRY WALL

The Harvard Law states: Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, ...
LARRY WALL

Younger hackers are hard to classify. They're probably just as diverse as the old hackers are. W...
LARRY WALL

Being a press secretary is like learning to type: You're hunting and pecking for a while and the...
LARRY SPEAKES

You don't tell us how to stage the news and we don't tell you how to cover it.
LARRY SPEAKES

Those who talk don't know what is going on and those who know what is going on won't talk.
LARRY SPEAKES

We live in a world where people think that finding a passion is so rare that if you find one you'...
LARRY SMITH

Just because you're passionately interested in something doesn't mean it has to be your care...
LARRY SMITH

If you've never tasted what it's like to get up in the morning and be pleased to go to work,...
LARRY SMITH

Find and use your passion, and you'll have a great career. Don't do it, you won't. It...
LARRY SMITH

I guess I've always liked the idea of being an artist.
LARRY RIVERS

I spent seven months in Africa and came back saying there isn't anything you can say about black...
LARRY RIVERS

Any art communicates what you're in the mood to receive.
LARRY RIVERS

I believe that any art communicates what you're in the mood to receive.
LARRY RIVERS

If you want to be told what to think, well, I'm not in that business.
LARRY POONS

A great painting is a great painting.
LARRY POONS

If you think you know where you're going to be 10 years from now, that's where you're at...
LARRY POONS

The only thing simple about the past is that it's not now.
LARRY POONS

There are people who don't respond to color. That's what painting is. It's color.
LARRY POONS

There's something always instinctively visually right about nature. There's no difference, t...
LARRY POONS

I like going to Burning Man, for example. An environment where people can try new things. I think as...
LARRY PAGE

We don't have as many managers as we should, but we would rather have too few than too many.
LARRY PAGE

We can't have democracy if we're having to protect you and our users from the government ove...
LARRY PAGE

I can't really comment on rumors.
LARRY PAGE

We have a mantra: don't be evil, which is to do the best things we know how for our users, for o...
LARRY PAGE

We want to build technology that everybody loves using, and that affects everyone. We want to create...
LARRY PAGE

The idea that everyone should slavishly work so they do something inefficiently so they keep their j...
LARRY PAGE

You know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with a vivid dream? And you know t...
LARRY PAGE

The ultimate search engine would basically understand everything in the world, and it would always g...
LARRY PAGE

If we were motivated by money, we would have sold the company a long time ago and ended up on a beac...
LARRY PAGE

For me, privacy and security are really important. We think about it in terms of both: You can't...
LARRY PAGE

We're at maybe 1% of what is possible. Despite the faster change, we're still moving slow re...
LARRY PAGE

Many leaders of big organizations, I think, don't believe that change is possible. But if you lo...
LARRY PAGE

You may think using Google's great, but I still think it's terrible.
LARRY PAGE

Invention is not enough. Tesla invented the electric power we use, but he struggled to get it out to...
LARRY PAGE

Lots of companies don't succeed over time. What do they fundamentally do wrong? They usually mis...
LARRY PAGE

Only in a concert situation do I have access to people directly to preach to them, and I don't b...
LARRY NORMAN

I want to encourage other people to try to discover who they are, not to try to fit into some superf...
LARRY NORMAN

Art is more engaging that propaganda.
LARRY NORMAN

I know I stand visibly onstage, but my function is still unseen, because I rarely see the immediate ...
LARRY NORMAN

Jesus got me through the slums without getting murdered. I just walked with him as though he were re...
LARRY NORMAN

Gospel songs to me are about the mansion in the sky, and washed in the blood of Christ's crimson...
LARRY NORMAN

Life is God's art.
LARRY NORMAN

I feel that Christian music is a subculture directed towards the Christians. It's not really bei...
LARRY NORMAN

I'm only here on Earth to serve God. I never had a career. I don't care about commercialism....
LARRY NORMAN

We need worship for our spirit, fellowship for our soul and committed subservience for our body.
LARRY NORMAN

But... watching Steven Barnes taught me to treat my life like an art form.
LARRY NIVEN

I do not believe they've run out of surprises.
LARRY NIVEN

SF isn't a genre; SF is the matrix in which genres are embedded, and because the SF field is nev...
LARRY NIVEN

My problem with new writers is that it takes me five or six years to memorise the right names.
LARRY NIVEN

I've got five or six unpublished stories kicking around looking for somebody to buy them.
LARRY NIVEN

In general, I don't know when inspiration will pop up.
LARRY NIVEN

We should not have assumed that a political space station could be built.
LARRY NIVEN

I'm not predicting; I just love playing with superconductors.
LARRY NIVEN

I love superconductors.
LARRY NIVEN

Treat your life like something to be sculpted.
LARRY NIVEN

I've spent a lot of my life among people brighter than myself.
LARRY NIVEN

I'd visit the near future, close enough that someone might want to talk to Larry Niven and can f...
LARRY NIVEN

I don't have a strong interest in history.
LARRY NIVEN

Anything beats an expensive stack of paper.
LARRY NIVEN

We're looking as far ahead as we can, and we don't get penalized for mistakes.
LARRY NIVEN

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

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Larry David

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

Larry David

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