Roads are just a suggestion, like pants.
HOMER SIMPSON Mmm... Organized Crime
HOMER SIMPSON 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
HOMER SIMPSON The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and...
HOMER SIMPSON It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 ...
HOMER SIMPSON Trying is the first step towards failure". - Homer Simpson
HOMER SIMPSON Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?
HOMER SIMPSON Jebus, Buddha, I love you alllllllllllllllllll
HOMER SIMPSON Stupid Flounders!
HOMER SIMPSON We have learn't a very valuable leasson today: it's better to watch stuff then to do stuff.
HOMER SIMPSON Just because i don't listen doesn't mean i don't understand.
HOMER SIMPSON If you're going to get mad at me everytime I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doin...
HOMER SIMPSON Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separa...
HOMER SIMPSON Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a...
HOMER SIMPSON "Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magi...
HOMER SIMPSON Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.
HOMER SIMPSON You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
HOMER SIMPSON Prohibition? HA! They tried that in the movies and it didn't work
HOMER SIMPSON Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!
HOMER SIMPSON Oh Marge, Of course everything seems bad if you remember it.
HOMER SIMPSON [at prof. Frink's yard sale]Three dollars and it only transports matter?!
HOMER SIMPSON Ah, the Luftwaffe - the Washington Generals of the History Channel!
HOMER SIMPSON Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
HOMER SIMPSON Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you g...
HOMER SIMPSON Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!
HOMER SIMPSON Operator, give me the number for 911!
HOMER SIMPSON Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
HOMER SIMPSON Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determin...
HOMER SIMPSON Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separa...
HOMER SIMPSON Oh..please dont eat me, I have a wife and three kids...eat them!
HOMER SIMPSON That's it kids... suckle daddy's sugar ball.
HOMER SIMPSON Ban the Ban Rally.
HOMER SIMPSON When i get my hands on you, your gonna be N.W.A , not without asswelts.
HOMER SIMPSON Trying is the first step to failure
HOMER SIMPSON [Referring to why the ghost town is built so far away] Because they're stupid! That's why everybody ...
HOMER SIMPSON If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
HOMER SIMPSON Sport, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose... It's how drunk you get.
HOMER SIMPSON Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
HOMER SIMPSON "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" {while speaking on the phone}
HOMER SIMPSON Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
HOMER SIMPSON Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to...
HOMER SIMPSON Maaaarge I'm Bored (Marge) Why don't you read something? (Homer) Cause I'm trying to RedUCE my borde...
HOMER SIMPSON (Homer:) Check it out, Erin shaved my head. (Marge:) You are bald! (Homer:) Noooo.. Im young person ...
HOMER SIMPSON Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip!
HOMER SIMPSON Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
HOMER SIMPSON (Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian" (Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?"...
HOMER SIMPSON Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
HOMER SIMPSON How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pus...
HOMER SIMPSON They have the Internet on computers, now?
HOMER SIMPSON I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
HOMER SIMPSON You take forever to say nothing.
HOMER SIMPSON If at first you don't succeed, give up.
HOMER SIMPSON If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
HOMER SIMPSON It [YVAN EHT NIOJ] doesn't mean anything! It's like 'ramalamadingdong' or 'give peace a chance'!
HOMER SIMPSON Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
HOMER SIMPSON Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway.
HOMER SIMPSON If he is so smart, how come he is dead?
HOMER SIMPSON Stupid, eh? Yeah, I'm stupid. Stupid like a fox!
HOMER SIMPSON (Homer) There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way! (Bart) Isn't that the wrong wa...
HOMER SIMPSON Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.
HOMER SIMPSON I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!
HOMER SIMPSON Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.
HOMER SIMPSON I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like ...
HOMER SIMPSON No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every da...
HOMER SIMPSON When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
HOMER SIMPSON Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be baking?
HOMER SIMPSON Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like no...
HOMER SIMPSON mmmmmmm. donuts/beer/erotic cakes.
HOMER SIMPSON I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.
HOMER SIMPSON Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
HOMER SIMPSON Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the on...
HOMER SIMPSON It is not right to glory in the slain.
HOMER Thou knowst the oer-eager vehemence of youth,How quick in temper, and in judgement weak.
HOMER The rose Dawn might have found them weeping still had not grey-eyed Athena slowed the night when nig...
HOMER There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, ...
HOMER For a friend with an understanding heart is worth no less than a brother
HOMER The persuasion of a friend is a strong thing.
HOMER Without a sign, his sword the brave man draws, and asks no omen, but his country's cause.
HOMER Be still my heart; thou hast known worse than this.
HOMER Light is the task where many share the toil.
HOMER And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared.
HOMER A decent boldness ever meets with friends.
HOMER Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.
HOMER I detest the man who hides one thing in the depth of his heart and speaks forth another.
HOMER How vain, without the merit, is the name.
HOMER Fate is the same for the man who holds back, the same if he fights hard. We are all held in a sing...
HOMER Not vain the weakest, if their force unite.
HOMER A guest never forgets the host who had treated him kindly.
HOMER At last is Hector stretch'd upon the plain,
Who fear'd no vengeance for Patroclus slain:
Then,...
HOMER For too much rest becomes a pain.
HOMER There will be killing till the score is paid.
HOMER Persuasive speech, and more persuasive sighs, Silence that spoke and eloquence of eyes.
HOMER The fates have given mankind a patient soul.
HOMER Evil deeds do not prosper; the slow man catches up with the swift.
HOMER The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gen...
HOMER Among all men on the earth bards have a share of honor and reverence, because the muse has taught th...
HOMER Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.
HOMER Whoever obeys the gods, to him they particularly listen.
HOMER The gods, likening themselves to all kinds of strangers, go in various disguises from city to city, ...
HOMER The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.
HOMER A young man is embarrassed to question an older one.
HOMER Zeus does not bring all men's plans to fulfillment.
HOMER The single best augury is to fight for one's country.
HOMER For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their father...
HOMER There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man ...
HOMER A sympathetic friend can be quite as dear as a brother.
HOMER Nothing shall I, while sane, compare with a friend.
HOMER It is not good to have a rule of many.
HOMER To have a great man for an intimate friend seems pleasant to those who have never tried it; those wh...
HOMER In youth and beauty, wisdom is but rare!
HOMER Two urns on Jove's high throne have ever stood, the source of evil one, and one of good; from th...
HOMER True friends appear less moved than counterfeit.
HOMER Hateful to me as are the gates of hell, Is he who, hiding one thing in his heart, Utters another.
HOMER Hunger is insolent, and will be fed.
HOMER Without a sign, his sword the brave man draws, and asks no omen, but his country's cause.
HOMER Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe.
HOMER Wise to resolve, and patient to perform.
HOMER The charity that is a trifle to us can be precious to others.
HOMER Words empty as the wind are best left unsaid.
HOMER There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.
HOMER Even were sleep is concerned, too much is a bad thing.
HOMER But curb thou the high spirit in thy breast, for gentle ways are best, and keep aloof from sharp con...
HOMER Still, we will let all this be a thing of the past, though it hurts us, and beat down by constraint ...
HOMER …There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—mag...
HOMER Winged words.
HOMER At last is Hector stretch'd upon the plain,Who fear'd no vengeance for Patroclus slain:Then, Prince!...
HOMER It is a wise child that knows his own father.
HOMER A man dies still if he has done nothing, as one who has done much.
HOMER The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.
HOMER The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
HOMER You ought not to practice childish ways, since you are no longer that age.
HOMER Wide-sounding Zeus takes away half a man's worth on the day when slavery comes upon him.
HOMER We are quick to flare up, we races of men on the earth.
HOMER There is nothing more dread and more shameless than a woman who plans such deeds in her heart as the...
HOMER The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.
HOMER So it is that the gods do not give all men gifts of grace - neither good looks nor intelligence nor ...
HOMER Nothing feebler than a man does the earth raise up, of all the things which breathe and move on the ...
HOMER May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a ho...
HOMER Look now how mortals are blaming the gods, for they say that evils come from us, but in fact they th...
HOMER It is tedious to tell again tales already plainly told.
HOMER It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You...
HOMER I should rather labor as another's serf, in the home of a man without fortune, one whose livelihood ...
HOMER Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
HOMER Of men who have a sense of honor, more come through alive than are slain, but from those who flee co...
HOMER Miserable mortals who, like leaves, at one moment flame with life, eating the produce of the land, a...
HOMER It was built against the will of the immortal gods, and so it did not last for long.
HOMER It is not unseemly for a man to die fighting in defense of his country.
HOMER It is not possible to fight beyond your strength, even if you strive.
HOMER It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his de...
HOMER If you are very valiant, it is a god, I think, who gave you this gift.
HOMER I too shall lie in the dust when I am dead, but now let me win noble renown.
HOMER He lives not long who battles with the immortals, nor do his children prattle about his knees when h...
HOMER He knew the things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before.
HOMER Even when someone battles hard, there is an equal portion for one who lingers behind, and in the sam...
HOMER A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.
HOMER A generation of men is like a generation of leaves; the wind scatters some leaves upon the ground, w...
HOMER A councilor ought not to sleep the whole night through, a man to whom the populace is entrusted, and...
HOMER A companion's words of persuasion are effective.
HOMER It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to ...
HOMER I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another.
HOMER Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy.
HOMER Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe.
HOMER Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. F...
HOMER By their own follies they perished, the fools.
HOMER All strangers and beggars are from Zeus, and a gift, though small, is precious.
HOMER All men have need of the gods.
HOMER A small rock holds back a great wave.
HOMER Young men's minds are always changeable, but when an old man is concerned in a matter, he looks both...
HOMER You will certainly not be able to take the lead in all things yourself, for to one man a god has giv...
HOMER Thus have the gods spun the thread for wretched mortals: that they live in grief while they themselv...
HOMER There is a strength in the union even of very sorry men.
HOMER There is a fullness of all things, even of sleep and love.
HOMER Two friends, two bodies with one soul inspired.
HOMER Do not mourn the dead with the belly
HOMER Life and death are balanced on the edge of a razor.
HOMER And they die an equal death - the idler and the man of mighty deeds.
HOMER All strangers and beggars are from Zeus, and a gift, though small, is precious
HOMER Why cover the same ground again? ... It goes against my grain to repeat a tale told once, and told s...
HOMER Far and near friends knew this house; for he whose home it was had much acquaintance in the world
HOMER The blade itself incites to deeds of violence.
HOMER Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that s...
HOMER No one can hurry me down to Hades before my time, but if a man's hour is come, be he brave or be he ...
HOMER Hektor, argue me no agreements. I cannot forgive you.
As there are no trustworthy oaths between...
HOMER Yea, and if some god shall wreck me in the wine-dark deep,
even so I will endure…
For al...
HOMER But you, Achilles,/ There is not a man in the world more blest than you--/ There never has been, nev...
HOMER Why have you come to me here, dear heart, with all these instructions? I promise you I will do every...
HOMER And overpowered by memory
Both men gave way to grief. Priam wept freely
For man - killing ...
HOMER We ask that (employees) take care of your personal business as needed. Should you require more time ...
HOMER Like the generations of leaves, the lives of mortal men. Now the wind scatters the old leaves across...
HOMER Even a fool learns something once it hits him.
HOMER How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!
HOMER I'm satisfied. It's straight, ... But it's just so hot, and I'm just so frustrated.
HOMER There is nothing nothing more nobler or more admirable than two people who see eye to eye keeping ho...
HOMER Wisdom never lies
HOMER By mutual confidence and mutual aid - great deeds are done, and great discoveries made
HOMER Achilles absent, was Achilles still
HOMER A guest never forgets the host who had treated him kindly
HOMER …and they limp and halt, they’re all wrinkled, drawn, they squint to the side, can’t look you ...
HOMER Ruin, eldest daughter of Zeus, she blinds us all, that fatal madness—she with those delicate feet ...
HOMER Heaven has appointed us dwellers on earth a time for all things.
HOMER