Carol Burnett quote: "I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that."

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
CAROL BURNETT

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it ha...
CAROL BURNETT

Comedy is tragedy - plus time.
CAROL BURNETT

We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted.
CAROL BURNETT

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can sur...
CAROL BURNETT

When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.
CAROL BURNETT

I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattres...
CAROL BURNETT

I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star look...
CAROL BURNETT

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be fa...
CAROL BURNETT

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
CAROL BURNETT

I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a...
CAROL BURNETT

I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking...
CAROL BURNETT

I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what p...
CAROL BURNETT

Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, whic...
CAROL BURNETT

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
CAROL BURNETT

On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - i...
CAROL BURNETT

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
CAROL BURNETT

Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell.
CAROL BURNETT

I'm so happy with what has happened in my life.
CAROL BURNETT

I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
CAROL BURNETT

I think we're here for each other.
CAROL BURNETT

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
CAROL BURNETT

Comedy is a tragedy plus time.
CAROL BURNETT

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
CAROL BURNETT

When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had ...
CAROL BURNETT

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
CAROL BURNETT

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by a...
CAROL BURNETT

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
CAROL BURNETT

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to te...
CAROL BURNETT

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
CAROL BURNETT

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out ag...
CAROL BURNETT

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
CAROL BURNETT

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a ...
CAROL BURNETT

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-roo...
CAROL BURNETT

She suffered. She suffered a whole lot. And at one point I was praying for her to be released. You k...
CAROL BURNETT

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go
CAROL BURNETT

She was a mountain girl, ... We brought some of her ashes here and placed them next to F.C. Jones. I...
CAROL BURNETT

People invite me to dinner not because I cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate grati...
CAROL BURNETT

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
CAROL BURNETT

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
CAROL BURNETT

She said, 'Mama, if I can take it back ...,
CAROL BURNETT

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's whe...
CAROL BURNETT

I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. Th...
CAROL BURNETT

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like M...
CAROL BURNETT

I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'
CAROL BURNETT

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
CAROL BURNETT

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.
CAROL BURNETT

When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it' s always 'a big breakthroug...
CAROL BURNETT

Comedy is tragedy plus time.
CAROL BURNETT

Comedy is tragedy - plus time
CAROL BURNETT

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I on...
CAROL BURNETT

When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS.
CAROL BURNETT

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
CAROL BURNETT

I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland.
CAROL BURNETT

Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.
CAROL BURNETT

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
CAROL BURNETT

I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.
CAROL BURNETT

I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
CAROL BURNETT

My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kin...
CAROL BURNETT

Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the...
CAROL BURNETT

Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique.
CAROL BURNETT

I'm so happy that we can share the many years of music and sketches from our shows with the students...
CAROL BURNETT

Just make her a little bitchier.
CAROL BURNETT

When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it' s always "a big breakthroug...
CAROL BURNETT

This is to explain just how your mom turned out to be the kind of hairpin she is.
CAROL BURNETT

I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.
CAROL BURNETT

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt someth...
CAROL BURNETT

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a g...
CAROL BURNETT

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my ma...
CAROL BURNETT

I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because ...
CAROL BURNETT

I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever.
CAROL BURNETT

I love audiences.
CAROL BURNETT

My first book was an open letter to my three daughters.
CAROL BURNETT

I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself.
CAROL BURNETT

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.
CAROL BURNETT

I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas.
CAROL BURNETT

I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my be...
CAROL BURNETT

I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.
CAROL BURNETT

I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time.
CAROL BURNETT

You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because som...
CAROL BURNETT

I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry.
CAROL BURNETT

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called r...
CAROL BURNETT

I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do.
CAROL BURNETT

I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those...
CAROL BURNETT

I really enjoy connecting with the audience.
CAROL BURNETT

I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.
CAROL BURNETT

My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.
CAROL BURNETT

I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that!
CAROL BURNETT

I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly no...
CAROL BURNETT

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to joke...
CAROL BURNETT

I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just...
CAROL BURNETT

I'm not a person who likes to confront.
CAROL BURNETT

It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you sho...
CAROL BURNETT

When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and ...
CAROL BURNETT

I eat very well, and I do Pilates.
CAROL BURNETT

I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there we...
CAROL BURNETT

It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run.
CAROL BURNETT

If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all.
CAROL BURNETT

I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
CAROL BURNETT

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't thi...
CAROL BURNETT

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
CAROL BURNETT

When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen.
CAROL BURNETT

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.
CAROL BURNETT

I have a great memory.
CAROL BURNETT

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
CAROL BURNETT

I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical.
CAROL BURNETT

My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I w...
CAROL BURNETT

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done...
CAROL BURNETT

Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story.
CAROL BURNETT

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to lau...
CAROL BURNETT

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myse...
CAROL BURNETT

I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the T...
CAROL BURNETT

My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that...
CAROL BURNETT

My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a jok...
CAROL BURNETT

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical c...
CAROL BURNETT

I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper.
CAROL BURNETT

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the los...
CAROL BURNETT

Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spir...
CAROL BURNETT

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ru...
CAROL BURNETT

The best person to get something done is a busy person.
MARK BURNETT

The work of an advertising agency is warmly and immediately human. It deals with human needs, wants,...
LEO BURNETT

To swear off making mistakes is very easy. All you have to do is to swear off having ideas.
LEO BURNETT

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud...
LEO BURNETT

What helps people, helps business.
LEO BURNETT

If you are writing about baloney, don't try and make it Cornish hen, because that's the worst kind o...
LEO BURNETT

I've learned any fool can write a bad ad, but it takes a real genius to keep his hands off a good on...
LEO BURNETT

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read.
LEO BURNETT

If you can't turn yourself into your customer, you probably shouldn't be in the ad writing business ...
LEO BURNETT

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mu...
LEO BURNETT

One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sur...
FRANCES BURNETT

If you can't turn yourself into your customer, you probably shouldn't be in the ad writing b...
LEO BURNETT

We want consumers to say, 'That's a hell of a product' instead of, 'That's a hel...
LEO BURNETT

Good advertising does not just circulate information. It penetrates the public mind with desires and...
LEO BURNETT

I've always liked adventure television. Pre-'Survivor,' I did a series on cable called &...
MARK BURNETT

Whether or not the standard of living made possible by mass production and in turn by mass circulati...
LEO BURNETT

Without immigrants, we never would've built this place.
BILL BURNETT

In 1955 we did have a strike in the mine at Gilman and boy, it was a wild time, we had lots of fight...
BILL BURNETT

Without immigrants, we never would've built this place. There were about 100 Japanese here that rais...
BILL BURNETT

It goes back a ways, I've seen changes in the town.
BILL BURNETT

Whether it is the cavemen in the caves thousands of years ago, Shakespeare plays, television, movies...
MARK BURNETT

Our pitching has definitely carried us. All three go out and compete and give a chance to win on mos...
ASHLEY BURNETT

We're in a good position, but we still have to go out there and compete. At least this gives us an o...
ASHLEY BURNETT

It's a different identity to itself because everybody's record is zero. I think we played as well as...
ASHLEY BURNETT

Right now it's just fun. We're just playing the game and having fun.
ASHLEY BURNETT

It's been like that all year long. It's been a different guy every game, who gets a big hit here, a ...
ASHLEY BURNETT

No matter how well you hit, you're going to face good pitching in the playoffs. So you've got to hav...
ASHLEY BURNETT

If we can go through those (games) playing good, solid baseball, I think we've got a chance to go pr...
ASHLEY BURNETT

(The Panthers) weren't able to throw their No. 1 or No. 2 guys, but not to take away anything from m...
ASHLEY BURNETT

The work of an advertising agency is warmly and immediately human. It deals with human needs, wants,...
LEO BURNETT

Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.
LEO BURNETT

Every show on television has a downward trend because there are so many more things to watch. You ca...
MARK BURNETT

The greatest thing to be achieved in advertising, in my opinion, is believability, and nothing is mo...
LEO BURNETT

'Survivor' wouldn't have happened had I not gone out there and helped CBS to sell sponso...
MARK BURNETT

Tanner is a coach's dream. He works hard, is always striving to improve, and leads by example. Tanne...
BRUCE BURNETT

Joe Baker really set the stage. For Joe to open up the match that way was tremendous.
BRUCE BURNETT

It was really a great win. We were prepared physically, we were prepared mentally and we were prepar...
BRUCE BURNETT

Boy, the kids really got the job done. I'm really proud of the way we competed. Our preparation the ...
BRUCE BURNETT

Tanner had to step up to fill a hole and he rose to the occasion.
BRUCE BURNETT

Tanner is a tenacious competitor with a strong will. He learned early on that conditioning can put y...
BRUCE BURNETT

He's a natural leader. He leads by example first, so all the hard work and commitment that he's made...
BRUCE BURNETT

We pride ourselves on being in shape. There's not a team in the country that can out-condition us.
BRUCE BURNETT

John has really stepped up. We always knew he was capable, it's all about confidence.
BRUCE BURNETT

Our guys came out strong, worked hard and controlled the pace. I want to win them all, and I'm alway...
BRUCE BURNETT

I have learned that trying to guess what the boss or the client wants is the most debilitating of al...
LEO BURNETT

A good basic selling idea, involvement and relevancy, of course, are as important as ever, but in th...
LEO BURNETT

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud ...
LEO BURNETT

We want consumers to say, 'That's a hell of a product' instead of, 'That's a hell of an ad.'
LEO BURNETT

I've got one more start here, and that's all that matters.
A.J. BURNETT

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.
MARK BURNETT

I wanted the palette to mirror who they are.
MARK BURNETT

How many times have you been out for a beer or dinner and people are coming up with business ideas? ...
MARK BURNETT

There are screens at the gas station, there are screens at the shopping mall. And they all need cont...
MARK BURNETT

Donald Trump is a guy who can commit to things and wants to do a great job -- I mean, that's what ma...
MARK BURNETT

My kids - even though it's a family business - they don't even know what day or time 'Su...
MARK BURNETT

Anyone who thinks that people can be fooled or pushed around has an inaccurate and pretty low estima...
LEO BURNETT

I'd like to answer that question honestly, but we have seven. It's not like it's going to change.
CHERYL BURNETT

We didn't always take the open shots, we made things harder than they had to be, and then when Ohio ...
CHERYL BURNETT

I am one who believes that one of the greatest dangers of advertising is not that of misleading peop...
LEO BURNETT

So many people wanted an adventure. It was really more about finding the cast that I wanted for '...
MARK BURNETT

We play scared. We manage scared. We coach scared.
A.J. BURNETT

Sooner rather than later, we're going to see a new team on top there.
A.J. BURNETT

As long as we go to the playoffs, that's all I care about. I'm going to do what I can to get us ther...
A.J. BURNETT

It is driving me. It's driving me more now than ever. This is a great team. We've got great pitching...
A.J. BURNETT

I've got one more start here, and that's all that matters. It's depressing around here. There's noth...
A.J. BURNETT

It just goes back to let everybody else worry about the Rocket. Let him take the show, and hopefully...
A.J. BURNETT

His room looked like a Radio Shack,
ROBERT BURNETT

I have no timetable. I have none. I wish I could tell you, but I don't (have a schedule). We're goin...
A.J. BURNETT

Every play they made behind me pumped me up even more and gave me the energy to keep going.
A.J. BURNETT

I'm very pleased with the outcome and the results. I probably could have thrown 10 or 15 more, if I ...
A.J. BURNETT

Finally after three years, Donald Trump has a real, true apprentice.
MARK BURNETT

There'll be a lot of turmoil; and we're not finished yet.
TOM BURNETT

The primary goal is to generate new Chronicle Books loyalists by creating engaging, innovative and u...
ANDREA BURNETT

Someone from Tickets.com was here all week. They have assured us that everything will work.
CHARTESE BURNETT

It was something, huh? I was really impressed when I was warming up in the bullpen. My arm felt grea...
SEAN BURNETT

It [pain in the elbow] came on pretty good in the fourth inning. This really is frustrating for me. ...
A.J. BURNETT

It's a 3-3 game. I give up a home run, it's a funeral. I'm over it, man. I've got one more start her...
A.J. BURNETT

When I see someone in a military uniform I make it a point to approach them, shake their hand and sa...
MARK BURNETT

The chemical and isotopic composition of the sun is the starting composition from which all planets ...
DON BURNETT

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of ...
LEO BURNETT

That's big to do that early. I tried to get out there and get the strut, get the glare and the feeli...
A.J. BURNETT

I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that.

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Carol Burnett

I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that.

Carol Burnett

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