I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty.


Dan Hicks

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How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision o...
BILL HICKS
We are trying to revitalize things here. We want to make Calvert home to the three A's - authors, ar...
BILL HICKS
Childbirth is a miracle. No, it's not. . . . It's a chemical reaction, that's all.
BILL HICKS
People say "Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world". Yeah, maybe, but you know what, after th...
BILL HICKS
You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intell...
BILL HICKS
So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit peo...
BILL HICKS
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything els...
BILL HICKS
This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I hav...
BILL HICKS
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
GRANVILLE HICKS
I'll tell you, too, that's starting to depress me about UFO's, about the fact that they cross galaxi...
BILL HICKS
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real b...
BILL HICKS
It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no j...
BILL HICKS
I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to ...
BILL HICKS
If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell y...
BILL HICKS
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can...
BILL HICKS
I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
BILL HICKS
We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase about abortion, it might be...
BILL HICKS
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
BILL HICKS
I noticed the drama majors on campus when I was at Notre Dame. They just seemed to be freer spirits ...
CATHERINE HICKS
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, ...
BILL HICKS
You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one...
BILL HICKS
It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night an...
BILL HICKS
You know that we have a great variety of ways to gratify our own desires.
ELIAS HICKS
I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
BILL HICKS
It's a walk of remembrance, a commemorative event for the victims of the twin towers, Pentagon, and ...
GREG HICKS
My style is to keep folks in place who are good managers and want to win.
TOM HICKS
I told him he could come incognito, or as a fan, or as part of the ceremonies.
TOM HICKS
He could come incognito as a fan or participate in the ceremonies.
TOM HICKS
The Hardest Part Of Letting Someone Put You Back Together, is Trusting Them Enough not to Break you ...
JENNIFER HICKS
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with it...
BILL HICKS
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
BILL HICKS
When you get college guys, you get guys that are more polished and understand the game. You've got a...
DAVID HICKS
We looked at that bad experience and said this is a great opportunity to use a problem solving strat...
TOM HICKS
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's...
BILL HICKS
I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS
This is an informational picket. It is not impacting our operations, and we don't expect that it wil...
BRUCE HICKS
This is informational picketing only and is not causing any disturbance to our service.
BRUCE HICKS
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
BILL HICKS
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, t...
BILL HICKS
We're envious of them,
TOM HICKS
We have four monitoring stations here at Bahia Grande, ... The land based station is primarily meteo...
DAVID HICKS
I'm being treated like some sort of cop killer when I didn't know anything about it. This is a defin...
CHRISTOPHER HICKS
I dunno how much AIDS scares y'all, but I got a theory: the day they come out with a cure for AIDS, ...
BILL HICKS
It's disappointing, it really is. Our players know the rules. They know they are going to be tested....
TOM HICKS
We asked if we could achieve a championship faster doing this deal or not making this deal. We felt ...
TOM HICKS