If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable.


Carrie Fisher

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If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.
CARRIE FISHER
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
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I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't ser...
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I love Carrie Fisher, and it would be amazing to carry on her legacy.
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Carrie Fisher was the most remarkable person I've ever known. I made my first three albums in he...
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I foolishly thought that if I just 'made it' then everything would be okay. And everything w...
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If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
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I wasn't that hard. I wasn't that tough. I wasn't that funny - I looked like me.
EDDIE MARSAN
My father would tell me if I wasn't writing in meter verse, it wasn't poetry.
JOHN DARNIELLE
It's so important just to be true to yourself and to own your own character and take responsibil...
BECKY LYNCH
I would love to host 'Saturday Night Live.' That's one of my goals in life - just puttin...
ALESSIA CARA
I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't fun. It's just a whole different thing these days.
BILL KREUTZMANN
Everything I've been through, everything I'm about to go through in my career and my life, i...
KARL MALONE
My roles in the '80s were, like, gender dysphoric. I wasn't pretty, I wasn't this, I was...
PAMELA ADLON
My mentors are people like Cameron Crowe and Carrie Fisher.
COURTNEY LOVE
I was adopting an Ethiopian child, that's not true. My house was haunted, that wasn't true. ...
ADELE
I didn't date for my entire teen life - it just wasn't on my mind.
KIESZA
If there wasn't mystery, people wouldn't have anything to ponder. If you already knew everyt...
EMMA ROBERTS
I don't want to be Carrie Bradshaw. I don't want the wedding to be bigger than Big. I'm ...
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As an actor you get categorized by other people, but it's not like I arrange myself into comedy ...
SOPHIE THOMPSON
I would have wanted to be a rock star, a lead singer, if I wasn't a model. I'd go touring in...
KATE MOSS
My father's a Southern Baptist minister. I wasn't lighting cars on fire; I just wasn't.
AARON PAUL
Most often the music does end up in the movie, and sometimes there's a point where I wish that i...
DANNY ELFMAN
No highbrow literary type would ever say 'Moby Dick' is good but it's just about a whale...
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I spent most of my life from 24 to 31 at the office. I wasn't going to people's weddings; I ...
MEGYN KELLY
The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There...
STEPHEN COLBERT
It's not that my father didn't love me, it's just that he wasn't capable of consiste...
DAVID CASSIDY
I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn't pronounce m...
BARBARA WALTERS
I don't think I've had a holiday in my entire life that wasn't about my dad's work.
KAT DENNINGS
I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. ...
CHARLOTTE DUJARDIN
I don't steer towards anything. I steer towards character and truth. If it's funny then so b...
TATE TAYLOR
I wasn't real quick, and I wasn't real strong. Some guys will just take off and it's lik...
LARRY BIRD
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's charact...
DAVID MITCHELL
I felt like if I wasn't around, maybe my shot would be gone.
YOUNG BUCK
David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that&#...
MICHAEL KEATON
I had this very strict rule when I began auditioning that I wasn't gonna do a thicker accent, be...
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Your life changes. Everything has to be done perfectly, and I didn't follow that. I lived my lif...
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Sometimes I'd hear things on other people's records and I say I wanted it on my records, but...
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Frankly, most of my friends hold very different political beliefs. It's just a funny thing in th...
PATRICIA HEATON
It's possible that we could change a human gene and double our life span. I don't know if th...
CYNTHIA KENYON
That's a great team we lost to. It just wasn't our day.
JACK ANDERSON
Wouldn't it be awesome if we had a jetpack that wasn't a death trap? The problem is that it ...
ASTRO TELLER
Any time I claimed to be white, that would be unacceptable. It just doesn't make sense in people...
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There's a disappointment there because I still feel there's an emptiness in my career that j...
ALONZO MOURNING
What's funny about the slacker thing, people project an image of what they think a musician is: ...
COURTNEY BARNETT
We were doing things with a hundred per cent feeling. It wasn't programmed. It wasn't asked ...
BEN E. KING
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't unti...
JENNY ECLAIR
I'm a huge NASCAR fan, but I'm not a gearhead. I've never been into fixing cars. It'...
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I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
BILLY CRYSTAL
I realized that I had screwed up my life living different parts of my life in different places. I wa...
JAMES MCGREEVEY
It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN
If I grew up in 'da hood,' it would make my story so much more interesting - if I had someth...
PALMER LUCKEY
You know people just assume, 'Well, all my life I'll be a worrier.' That doesn't hav...
MAX LUCADO
My parents separated it, and that let me know that TV life wasn't my normal life; that was my jo...
TAHJ MOWRY
My parents, my family, that's the biggest inspiration in my life. I've been in a lot of dark...
J. R. SMITH
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to...
BILL BURR
I really like my first movie a lot, 'Kicking and Screaming.' I think it's a - I'm ve...
NOAH BAUMBACH
I thought it would be funny to go to my Korean dry cleaner and ask her about my head shot, as if it&...
BILLY EICHNER
I don't think anybody should ever take their life for being bullied. But if it wasn't for my...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN
'Saturday Night Live' is a very particular beast. What it celebrates are individuals who can...
CHRIS PARNELL
'If I Should Love Again' - I was just so impressed with myself writing something like that. ...
BARRY MANILOW
That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awk...
PSY
I feel with ELP that I wasn't making the most of my life and I wasn't making the most of my ...
GREG LAKE
When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Phil...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA
I am a product of nepotism. I don't think I would have had the profession that I'm in curren...
JEFF BRIDGES
I wasn't delusional at all when I signed on to do 'Furious 7,' that it wasn't my cre...
JAMES WAN
Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything ...
CANDACE BUSHNELL
I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX
I'm not saying anything to denigrate 'Criminal Minds'; that's a great show. I just d...
PAGET BREWSTER
If you have this enormous talent, it's got you by the balls, it's a demon. You can't be ...
DUSTIN HOFFMAN
If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.
KATE O'BRIEN
Everything I do is for my parents, None of this matters without them. If it weren't for them, I ...
J. R. SMITH
If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And...
SETH MACFARLANE
I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my ever...
RACHAEL HARRIS
Acting was always there, it's true. But for a long time, in my teenage years, I wasn't sure ...
BILL SKARSGARD
Even though my mother had told me growing up that, 'If you win, nobody cares what color you are,...
WARREN MOON
I guess, if it wasn't for Jordan, there would be no LeBron or Kobe who plays like that.
BEN SIMMONS
If it wasn't for women, I wouldn't be here. I'm a mamma's boy at heart. I love my mo...
ROMAN REIGNS
I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn'...
RON WHITE
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain...
LEWIS CARROLL
The movie I've seen a million times - wait, that's not possible - my favorite movie of all t...
DONALD FAISON
I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who we...
ROB LOWE
I think I would have died if there hadn't been the women's movement. It gave me a vision tha...
DOROTHY ALLISON
I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.
CARROT TOP
It's just my natural way - to be funny. I don't know why that is. But as I've said, humo...
T. C. BOYLE
A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it&#...
RANDY HARRISON
As I don't know what life would be like without my Chaplin connections, I work with them. I'...
OONA CHAPLIN
Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny ...
WAVY GRAVY
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, t...
LOUIS C. K.
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's fu...
DEMETRI MARTIN
With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug...
BROOKE NEVIN
My fantasy is, if I wasn't on 'Dexter,' I would move my family to London and work for th...
MANNY COTO
I know this is silly, it's shallow, it's bad, I wish I wasn't this way-but if I meet a g...
PETER FARRELLY
I would be lying if I said it wasn't cool to see myself on the cover of 'Vanity Fair,' r...
MEGYN KELLY
If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parod...
ADAM MCKAY
I've stammered all my life, and it's fair to say that my stammer has shaped my life. It'...
GARETH GATES
Even when my parents were together, they both had to travel and work, and it wasn't like they ha...
GEORGIA JAGGER
It's been real weird. It wasn't how I expected my life to turn out. Especially, mainly perta...
JACK OSBOURNE
I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into...
ROBERT WEBB

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Anyway, George comes up to me the first day of filming and he takes one look at the dress and says, ...
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You stay safe, You love. You survive. You laugh and cry and struggle and sometimes you fail and some...
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I've learned it's really important to work hard and keep your family and friends close. You&...
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I did most of my volunteer work when I was in college because I knew of more ways to get involved. I...
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I have so many wonderful people in my life. I've never had any major physical problems or an acc...
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I love chocolate, and I love to shop - just give me a good boutique. I like mall scenarios, too, bec...
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It seems women are expected to be so much more than men, which means we have to work that much harde...
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Nobody's going to tell me that my dog doesn't love me. That's crazy talk.
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We're all different. That's what makes us special. We have to love each other and get on wit...
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Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate!
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I think it's okay to feel jealous, but it's how you deal with it that's the important th...
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Getting revenge on a guy is just not worth it to me. I mean, it definitely sucks at the time, but ob...
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Throw caution to the wind and just do it.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
My cell phone is my best friend. It's my lifeline to the outside world.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Fashion is entertainment. That's why these top models are so fascinating to kids. They're dy...
CARRIE DONOVAN
To really be tortured by a song, it needs to be more than just something you don't like or don&#...
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN
I'm a character actor and I get lost in these characters, so I think it's only recently that...
CARRIE PRESTON
After I released 'Jesus, Take the Wheel,' people started saying, Oh, it's kind of risky....
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
There are all these interesting rules about asteroid nomenclature. Once you discover it, you have th...
CARRIE NUGENT
It wouldn't be a Carrie Underwood album without a revenge song on it. People really like when I ...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Lord, I feel so small sometimes in this great big old world.
Yeah, I know there are more import...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
I had to keep telling her I'd promised not to let her violate me.
CARRIE JONES
Most astronomical work has to do with things that are very, very far away and don't affect our l...
CARRIE NUGENT
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
CARRIE SNOW
I have no attention span. I get bored so fast.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
I'm pretty horrible at relationships and haven't been in many long-term ones. Leaving and mo...
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN
I shot all my stuff on 'Arrested Development' in one day, and was brought into a really well...
CARRIE PRESTON
If I go and buy a coffee, and somebody asks me what I do, I'll say, 'I find asteroids.' ...
CARRIE NUGENT
I've never understood people who play up the artifice of music.
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN
You never know what curve balls life is going to throw you and there's no way I can predict anyt...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
I love being around my friends and my family and spending time with my husband. I like being normal ...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
I respect country music because I feel like it's more about the talent and the songwriting and I...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
I'm really lucky in the sense that my hair holds curl awesomely well. It looks the same at 10 P....
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Dimples crinkle up the skin near his lips. I will not look at his lips. How can he never have used t...
CARRIE JONES
It's hard to save the world when you can't save yourself
CARRIE JONES
You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it's how we glue those fracture...
CARRIE JONES
My eyes meet his eyes.
“You were a jerk,” I say.
His hands move to my cheeks. “I’m...
CARRIE JONES
What I have learned lately is that people deal with death in all sorts of ways. Some of us fight aga...
CARRIE JONES
We teleported," Issie finishes. "Like in Star Trek or Harry Potter, sort of. No! Like in Dr. Who in ...
CARRIE JONES
There's a lot of things that are said on the American Idol message board. I quit reading them be...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
American Idol transcends age, gender, ethnicity, everything.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
The TV is often on in our house, but I really only keep up with three shows: 'American Idol,'...
CARRIE UNDERWOOD
We must note that this judge is thinking in a progressive way. He is well read... and is really show...
CARRIE SHELVER
It also comes down to how society perceives the role of men, as opposed to the role of women. Men ca...
CARRIE SHELVER
We are sending out a strong message of support and solidarity to survivors of rape and violence.
CARRIE SHELVER
Much of the time these ... sexual assaults will go unreported because of the stigma that still preva...
CARRIE SHELVER
It's being said that she's a slut ... that she's a thief of other women's husbands, that she did it ...
CARRIE SHELVER
We had to negotiate to be allowed to go closer (to the court entrance).
CARRIE SHELVER
It was like a perfect meet. They stuck all of their routines and I was really happy.
CARRIE ROTONDARO
They were consistent on everything.
CARRIE ROTONDARO
We didn't really know what to expect.
CARRIE ROTONDARO
Things went really well. We did all our routines the best we could.
CARRIE ROTONDARO
I think she?s going to be fine. She?s all about the team and does whatever she has to.
CARRIE ROTONDARO
They have definitely stepped up. They are consistent. They come through every meet, you know you can...
CARRIE ROTONDARO
[The injury] has been about two weeks now and it?s been getting worse and worse. So today we said it...
CARRIE ROTONDARO
I don?t really know that much about Hand, we haven?t seen them this year. I do know that Hand has a ...
CARRIE ROTONDARO
They have so much depth. They were solid tonight. They have harder skills. We didn't have as much di...
CARRIE ROTONDARO
I think [our scores] are pretty comparable [to other contenders]. If we have Heather back and we hav...
CARRIE ROTONDARO
He said he would get on the computer when he got home from work so we knew he would be on. When (pol...
CARRIE RODGERS