A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

The American people, taken one with another, constitute the most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and goose-steppers ever gathered under one flag in Christendom since the end of the middle ages

Metaphysics is almost always an attempt to prove the incredible by an appeal to the unintelligible