A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!

I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners. ... actress who does a Holocaust movie because, as she explains, it's a surefire way to finally win an Oscar.

If someone does not believe in fairies, he does not need to teach his children 'There are no fairies'; he can omit to teach them the word 'fairy'.

You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.