A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.

Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies.

Never argue with your wife about hostility when she's a certified Freudian.

Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.

I've never really had a desire to do Shakespeare. For me, it's just too many lines.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.