A conservative is a liberal who just got mugged and a liberal is a conservative who just got arrested.

IF YOU CAN'T THANK GOD FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, THANK HIM FOR WHAT YOU HAVE ESCAPED!

If you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror, how will you ever see what is in front of you?

If politicians had to live by the rules they make, there would be different rules.

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.