A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board.

Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.


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If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, woul...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Sir Isaac Newton, renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!"

"The what?"...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I co...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monk...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best wa...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable its...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the s...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with AS...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
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The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Wandering around the web is like living in a world in which every doorway is actually one of those s...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
I taught myself to play the guitar by listening to Paul Simon records, working it out note by note. ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Life? Don't talk to me about life!
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angr...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Az...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
DOUGLAS ADAMS
In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lo...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a dou...
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O Deep Thought computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much......
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Answer to the Great Question Of.....Life, the Universe and Everything.....(is) Forty-two.
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
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One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...
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Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, though...
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The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong i...
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Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sen...
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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
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In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and...
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Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existenc...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola
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Even traveling despondently is better than arriving here.
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The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a...
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My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' h...
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Same as you, Arthur. I hitched a ride. After all, with a degree in maths and another in astrophysics...
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He actually caught himself saying things like "Yippee," as he pranced ridiculously round the house.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non...
DOUGLAS ADAMS