A family is a group of people who keep confusing you with someone you were as a kid.

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.