A friend once told me that the real message Bram Stoker sought to convey in 'Dracula' is that a human being needs to live hundreds and hundreds of years to get all his reading done; that Count Dracula, basically nothing more than a misunderstood bookworm, was draining blood from the necks of 10,000 hapless virgins not because he was the apotheosis of pure evil but because it was the only way he could live long enough to polish off his extensive reading list. But I have no way of knowing if this is true, as I have not yet found time to read 'Dracula.


Joe Queenan

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Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to
JOE GORES
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog...
JOE WEINSTEIN
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
JOE GORES
If you do politics the right way, I believe, you can actually make people's lives better. And integr...
JOE BIDEN
My own father had always said the measure of a man wasn't how many times or how hard he got knocked ...
JOE BIDEN
The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wa...
JOE MARTIN
That was the age of great men, doing what was right.
JOE ABERCROMBIE
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.
JOE THEISMANN
I know firsthand how agonizing waiting can be.
JOE MANCHIN
When all is said and done and the e-book is written about politics and the Internet, it is not going...
JOE GREEN
We have reached an important milestone and achieved a new momentum in reaching a goal all Americans ...
JOE LIEBERMAN
Ali even told me in the ring, 'You can't beat me - I'm your Lord.' I just told him, ...
JOE FRAZIER
I went to see President Nixon at the White House. It wasn't difficult to get a meeting because I...
JOE FRAZIER
Every place where I played or managed is special to me because of the memories and the friendships t...
JOE TORRE
Affirmative action was always racial justice on the cheap.
JOE KLEIN
As a supporter of the Prostate Cancer Foundation and their Home Run Challenge program, I am extremel...
JOE TORRE
Every child should have a caring adult in their lives. And that's not always a biological parent...
JOE MANCHIN
The Dalai Lama's entire being is about peace and harmony, forgiveness and self-discipline. Those...
JOE NICHOLS
We cannot neglect the unemployed, underemployed and dislocated workers of America who need ample and...
JOE BACA
My Portuguese uncle had a Portuguese version of a ukulele. The family would pull it out after dinner...
JOE PERRY
No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still ...
JOE ROGAN
People should not be in a position where their children have access to weapons and ammunition.
JOE BIDEN
Over the objections, where they sound like squealing pigs, over the objections of Romney and all his...
JOE BIDEN
I love the ambiguous kind of endings. I think, oftentimes, that's what life really is - there...
JOE CARNAHAN
'Skins' had been a brilliant breeding ground for young actors, young directors and young wri...
JOE DEMPSIE
When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing thing...
JOE NAMATH
Today I am announcing my support for Senator Barack Obama for President of the United States of Amer...
JOE ANDREW
I know my destiny. I was born into animosity, bigotry and hatred. We had water for white folks, and ...
JOE FRAZIER
The American flag is an enduring symbol of liberty, democracy, and justice. It is fitting that the H...
JOE BARTON
The 21st century is going to be the American century. Because we lead not only by the example of our...
JOE BIDEN
Working in a restaurant means being part of a family, albeit usually a slightly dysfunctional one. N...
JOE BASTIANICH
I think it says wonders about people that can write an entire album, and put out an entire album of ...
JOE NICHOLS
Now, if you're Al Gore, you can afford $10 a pop for squiggly-pig-tailed fluorescent light bulbs...
JOE BARTON
Ever since John Kennedy, Democrats have had a weakness for dashing younger men like Bill Clinton and...
JOE KLEIN
Presumptuous for me to say, but at least - at a minimum - I've been able to influence the direct...
JOE BIDEN
I grew up watching Letterman, 'Seinfeld,' 'SNL,' and Monty Python movies. But nothin...
JOE MANDE
After I hurt the knee, football wasn't nearly as much fun. I was limited. But you make do with w...
JOE NAMATH
The promise of education reform can never be fulfilled without adequate funding, and by shortchangin...
JOE LIEBERMAN
There's good art and there's bad art. A lot of action films are bad art, but Paul Greengrass...
JOE WRIGHT
Maybe you could put it out there that I don't have a built-in dislike of ballads. That was kind ...
JOE PERRY
The feeling of being accepted and acknowledgement and recognition and fame - I'm vain like every...
JOE JAMAIL
Our workers comp debt is the Achilles heel of our state's economy, and I firmly believe that in ...
JOE MANCHIN
Most liberals think of civil liberties as their Achilles heel. It isn't.
JOE BIDEN