A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.


Poor Jimmy's Almanac

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle...
OGDEN NASH
When you change your protection, when you're always aware of what's going on with one guy, it helps ...
TONY DUNGY
When you're young, you travel with your parents. When you get older you bring your husband with you....
KATARINA WITT
Jesse was the go-to guy in college. He led in every category. Here, he's not that guy that does ever...
JAMIE BLACK
And when you stick on conversation's burrs, don't strew your pathway with those dreadful urs.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
And when you stick on conversation's burs, Don't strew your pathway with those dreadful urs.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, SR.
And when you stick on conversation's burrs, don't strew your pathway with those dreadful urs
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, esp...
JORDAN BELFORT
When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet...
NATALIE PORTMAN
When he comes off the ball, there ain't no jamming him. If you stick your arm out there, it's like p...
FRED GRAVES
My husband and I grew up with parents who supported our passion, and we're grateful to them for ...
IDINA MENZEL
When someone tells you they are too 'busy'… It’s not a reflection of their schedule; it’s a re...
STEVE MARABOLI
When your heart tells you something, you have to go with it.
ERIC WEDDLE
When you're filming, you work 19-hour days, and you know more about what's going on with you...
KIM CATTRALL
When you work on your own life, you are less likely to hyper focus on the imperfections of your husb...
MARTHA QUINN
Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back.
MICHAEL BASSEY JOHNSON
When you are on your purpose, your preoccupation isn't what you don't have yet. You've already drunk...
ASSEGID HABTEWOLD
When you think about a partner in your life, you hope that you have someone who will love you uncond...
EMILY LYONS
When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want ...
NATALIE PORTMAN
I like a guy who uses his hips when he's dancing.
TARA REID
You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks y...
STEVE HARVEY
For us tall people, the whole key is that your hips and your knees should form a right angle when yo...
PHIL JACKSON
Poor man, said I, you pay too much for your whistle.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just b...
SANDRA BERNHARD
It helps if you have a string of five or six or seven good drafts to develop a team. It helps when y...
JON GRUDEN
There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn't.
JOHN GREEN
I think it was much better when you got on your horse and rode two miles to talk to your neighbor.
LAURA SCHLESSINGER
Strange thoughts brew in your heart when you spend too much time with old books
ARAVIND ADIGA
a woman who would steal your love when your love is all you really have isnt much of a woman
JOHNNY DEPP
It definitely helps when you score two goals on your first game back.
MILAN HEJDUK
Self discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don't talk back.
W. K. HOPE
When you feel life is getting too cruel and insensitive… Look for a newspaper or poor streets… ...
KRITIKA SHARMA
The process is much more convenient if you stick with your current lender.
GREG MCBRIDE
The road to healing is a rocky one, and you need to know that. There are times when every fibre in y...
CORALLIE BUCHANAN
The program gives you a great push, ... It helps you get on your feet when times could otherwise be ...
JACOB BROWN
Once you make up your mind never to stand waiting and hesitating when your conscience tells you what...
JOHN KEBLE
The ultimate test of whether you posses a sense of humor is your reaction when someone tells you you...
FRANK TYGER
And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom become...
KAHLIL GIBRAN
It's so hard, especially when you get under so much scrutiny like in the Triple Crown, to be able to...
RICHARD MIGLIORE
You lose your manners when you're poor.
LILLIAN HELLMAN
It's just interaction with your customer, if he's buying you a drink, that should be OK, and you kno...
AARON THOMPSON
New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than...
BILL MAHER
You sang you butt off. Look how much lipstick you've got on the microphone!
MARCIA HINES
When you get a guy like that who comes in from another level, it helps everyone around him.
GENO PARRISH
You know when you're young, you think your dad's Superman. Then you grow up and you realize he's jus...
DAVE ATELL
What do you do when your competitor is drowning? Get a live hose - and stick it in his mouth.
M. DOUGLAS IVESTER
You have to pick your poison with them. We're concentrating so much on Dwayne Wade and we're doublin...
PAUL PIERCE
When you have no companion, look to your walking stick
ALBANIAN PROVERB
A person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets your watch, and then sends you a...
SOURCE UNKNOWN
Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS
To me, a lot of what makes a good actor is not what a teacher tells you to do but how you respond wh...
GLENNE HEADLY
When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other han...
BO SCHEMBECHLER
It's a work in progress, ... When you overstride, you take your hips out of the throw and it becomes...
CHAD PENNINGTON
When someone tells you what you are doing is impossible use it to fuel your fire.
JEFFREY BENJAMIN
Everyone that you fight is not your enemy and everyone who helps you is not your friend.
MIKE TYSON
I had a dream about you. You had no skin or muscle on your face, and to try to conceal your bare sku...
DORA J. AROD
At Julliard we had some voice classes. It was really just so you could carry a tune. It always just ...
WENDELL PIERCE
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who w...
WILLIAM SOMERSET MAUGHAM
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who w...
PATSY CLINE
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who w...
JUDY GARLAND
If you owe too much on American Express,
and your Diner's Club notes are too hard,
take a loan...
NIPSEY RUSSELL
When you want something really bad and you close your eyes and wish for it-- God's the guy who ignor...
CASPIAN TREDWELL-OWEN
You see a guy who is around 6'5, 290 lbs. on a Division I team. You might see a guy is an inch small...
BRIAN JONES
When a man tells you who he is...believe him.
MAYA ANGELOU
Obviously ,you want to demand the puck; you want to have it as much as you can because you feel like...
PATRICK KANE
I was just trying to take your mind off things. A guy with the Missoula rural fire department was wo...
DAVE MARMON
When you hold a child in your arms, or hug your mother, or your husband, or your friend, if you brea...
THICH NHAT HANH
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
BERT LESTON TAYLOR
I always say that when it comes to picking a single, firstly you have to go with what feels right an...
ELLA HENDERSON
It is important when you haven't got any ammunition to have a butt on your rifle.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
When you're just moving forward and you agree that you're just going to stick with the results, you ...
KEN STRINGFELLOW
One of the scary things is that, when you're a kid, you look at your dad as the man who has no f...
DAVID DUCHOVNY
It's complicated, when it's raining like this, there's a lot of traffic and you got your speeders, w...
CARLOS RUIZ
One of the scary things is that, when you're a kid, you look at your dad as the man who has no fear....
DAVID DUCHOVNY
It's no good trying to get rid of your own aloneness. You've got to stick to it all your life. Only ...
D.H. LAWRENCE
When you are led by values, it doesn't cost your business, it helps your business.
JERRY GREENFIELD
What goes on in your innermost being is worth all your love, this is what you must work on however y...
RAINER MARIA RILKE
When a guy that hot is still hitting sixth, it tells you all you need to know about their lineup.
JAKE WESTBROOK
One of my strengths is my explosive power. Especially at the start line, where you have to accelerat...
BRYONY SHAW
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues in...
MALCOLM STEVENSON FORBES
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues' i...
MALCOLM FORBES
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues in...
MALCOLM S. FORBES
A bore is a man who when asked how he is, tells you
BERT LESTON TAYLOR
Female competition is when you are with a guy you like and you look around, see a girl who is pretti...
MIYA YAMANOUCHI
You've just got to manage your time and do as much as you can, and not place too much emphasis on on...
CHARLIE HUNTER
Time is a lie. Each second, when I am not with you, seems like an eternity and every moment when you...
AKSHAY VASU
Never forget who was with you from the start....The people who stick by you at your worst, deserve t...
ZIAD K. ABDELNOUR
It was a close pitch. (Thome) spit on it, it may have been a little low, but it's borderline. But st...
A.J. BURNETT
He's a big guy, you know? ... I talked to him the last 18 holes, 'Come on, man, come on. Why you too...
CARLOS FRANCO
So when you use weights to build and strengthen your muscles, you may not notice immediate weight lo...
BOBBI DUNN
Casey is a guy who sometimes tries to do too much and puts too much heat on himself.
ERIC WEDGE
Don't keep your own schedule - that will eat too much of your time keeping your own schedule. An...
CHRISTINE QUINN
When I see the hatred exacted at Mr. Obama - you know, he lowered your taxes, killed your number one...
HENRY ROLLINS
And yeah, I know most people would think it weird that two guy friends touch as much as we do, but w...
PATRICK NESS
When you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on h...
SHANNON L. ALDER
You might get a guy with his head down and it's his own fault that he gets knocked out cold. You wan...
CAM BROWN
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might....
MOSES
When you are alone and too tired even to turn on any of your devices, you let yourself linger in a p...
CLAUDIA RANKINE
A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
When you decide to work with integrity and good judgement, others may talk about you but later, when...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA

More Poor Jimmy's Almanac