A lifetime of happiness? No man could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

A lifetime of happiness ! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth

Written over the gate here are the words 'Leave every hope behind, ye who enter.' Only think what a relief that is! For what is hope? A form of moral responsibility. Here there is no hope, and consequently no duty, no work, nothing to be gained by praying, nothing to be lost by doing what you like. Hell, in short is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum

When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: he hasn't got any.

The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them