A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.
P. J. O'Rourke
Related I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib... C. JOYBELL C. You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES If Stephen King was a killer, he will be the best killer ever existed, check out his novels, check o... DEYTH BANGER She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t... STEPHEN CHBOSKY We Are All Infinite STEPHEN CHBOSKY (All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes... JEAN SASSON You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE. STEPHAN CHBOSKY Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st... STHEPHEN CHBOSKY no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting. STEPHEN CHBOSKY Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad. STEPHEN CHBOSKY Rat-a-tat-tat.""Quack." KATE ANGELL We die a day at a time BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Each man lives in his own universe and when he dies the world is over BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA I will not read the last page of novels first," I said, and then punched myself in the face. "... BRANDON SANDERSON You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m... SARAH J. MAAS I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES You deserve to be with somebody, who knows you're the one, from that very first moment he lays eyes ... C. JOYBELL C. Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different. JOHNNIE DENT JR. I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think eve... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if... STEPHEN CHBOSKY He's gawking at me when I open the door. "Damn girl," he says, looking me over, "what the hell... J.A. REDMERSKI As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people
have been befuddled by the mysteries... LEWIS N. ROE I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind. C LIONG The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can... LEWIS N. ROE Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung... PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE I frowned at the eye in my palm. "What, literally shout at the tattoo?" "You could try rubbing ... SARAH J. MAAS Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo... GERMANY KENT The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison SARAH J. MAAS I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you. SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain... SARAH J. MAAS Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN You do what you love, what you need SARAH J. MAAS I turned. Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere... SARAH J. MAAS In the real world, they told you who to be, not the other way around. RHODA BELLEZA I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life... CHARLES BUKOWSKI Oh, I should probably set a few ground rules before we do this.” “Oh?” I turn at the wais... J.A. REDMERSKI Though we are terrorized by death, it's not different from birth, it just happens BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Absoballylutely top hole, wot. A and B the C of D I'd say. . . Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. BRIAN JACQUES How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS I was suddenly very aware of the fact it was me standing up in that tunnel with the wind over my fac... STEPHEN CHBOSKY The only perspective is to really be there. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I didn't feel like reading that night, so I went downstairs and watched a half-hour long commercial ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Why is England manufacturing bigger and better airplanes and bombs and at the same time churning out... ANNE FRANK Like a deep sad note played beneath the ocean waving through the orb the memories of ... PAWAN MISHRA Knowledge causes depression and a lot of pressure. DEYTH BANGER A man drank and became drunk, next he said, now i am delivered from my enemies and then walked into ... SOTONYE ANGA Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ... GERMANY KENT The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you... FREDRIK BACKMAN Closed eyes, heart not beating, but a living love. AVIS COREA Dreams, just dreams, it's all illusion BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA My mate. Death incarnate. Night triumphant. SARAH J. MAAS We need hope, or else we cannot endure. SARAH J. MAAS Although it's great to appear to a feast, home is always sweet, though it may be lonely and cold lik... BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA I say that I'm not into you like that, Camryn, because..," he pauses, searching my face, looking at ... J.A. REDMERSKI The earth is an arena of champions. We are all champions. We all did overcome millions of potential ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH It appeared to Harriet that she was always the one who remembered having seen other people. They nev... ELIZABETH TAYLOR History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi... MARIANA FULGER That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Kn... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN We all want to become more than we are, we want to live forever, that is why we hate death and creat... BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA She made a fence of phrases, which seemed a treachery to herself. ELIZABETH TAYLOR You are the blood of the dragon. You can make a hat. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN I live nearby a graveyard, that's where I get all my inspiration for wisdom and life BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the c... GERMANY KENT Never thought I’d intentionally sleep on a bathromm floor next to a toilet while sober, but I mean... J.A. REDMERSKI Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed. A.A. MILNE We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet. Even longer,' Pooh answered.” ... A.A. MILNE People themselves makes a lots of mistakes and still loves himself,
and they never forget a single m... OM BENIWAL You can not change what happened or bring back the past. But you can change the future by being stro... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Some people never take a chance and never know what it's like to live life to the full. CHLOE THURLOW Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept him from you. ALLY CARTER I want to share this bed with you, though," I breathed. "I want you to hold me." Stars flicker... SARAH J. MAAS When looking for evidence that something exists, it's silly
to start by assuming that it is impossib... LEWIS N. ROE Using the scientific knowledge that we
currently possess, we can take simple logical steps, backed b... LEWIS N. ROE The role of the
Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to
think of themselve... LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It
has no power to explain even some
of the most basic principl... LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if
someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically... LEWIS N. ROE I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I thought I would write a love letter. But then, I wrote a book." - Suzy Davies, on "Johari's Window SUZY DAVIES The Dream of a Queer Fellow I write the words again and they appear doubly pregnant with meaning. It... JOHN MIDDLETON MURRY If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans - and I certainly hope you have... LEMONY SNICKET How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Q... LEWIS CARROLL To be a success, you have to break down your wall of fear that you built around you to protect yours... DEBASISH MRIDHA She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your he... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN My plant is probably dead." Camryn looks slightly surprised. "You have a plant?" I smile. ... J.A. REDMERSKI The world slides, the world goes, and death makes equal the rich and the poor BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA A man of guilt acknowledges and changes himself immediately on being hinted slightly about his fault... ANUJ SOMANY
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SOLES I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. P. J. O'ROURKE Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him. P. J. O'ROURKE Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You jus... P. J. O'ROURKE There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a cer... P. J. O'ROURKE In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is mo... P. J. O'ROURKE Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a g... P. J. O'ROURKE A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't a... P. J. O'ROURKE Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats ... P. J. O'ROURKE The baby boomers' politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground t... P. J. O'ROURKE Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. P. J. O'ROURKE Excessive speed and quantity are, like chattiness and digression, besetting sins of cyber-assisted a... P. J. O'ROURKE The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with ... P. J. O'ROURKE Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreationa... P. J. O'ROURKE You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King a... P. J. O'ROURKE You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to t... P. J. O'ROURKE Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for ... P. J. O'ROURKE There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men be... P. J. O'ROURKE The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in... P. J. O'ROURKE We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup ... P. J. O'ROURKE I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a ... P. J. O'ROURKE I literally left school and went straight into music via art college for a year, and I've been s... P. J. HARVEY Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther. J. P. MORGAN Kabul is a walled city, which sounds romantic except the walls are pre-cast reinforced concrete blas... P. J. O'ROURKE Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the l... P. J. O'ROURKE The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's u... P. J. O'ROURKE As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, R... P. J. O'ROURKE What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding de... P. J. O'ROURKE There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the co... P. J. O'ROURKE The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The ... P. J. O'ROURKE A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitche... P. J. O'ROURKE Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled... P. J. O'ROURKE If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, Wo... P. J. O'ROURKE You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don'... P. J. O'ROURKE The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim... P. J. O'ROURKE Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is und... P. J. O'ROURKE The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb. P. J. O'ROURKE A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?' P. J. O'ROURKE Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the sche... P. J. O'ROURKE Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. P. J. O'ROURKE If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it w... P. J. O'ROURKE The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them... P. J. O'ROURKE Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. P. J. O'ROURKE I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bl... P. J. O'ROURKE Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway inste... P. J. O'ROURKE Kids are disorganized. P. J. O'ROURKE People say free trade causes dislocation. In actual fact, it's the lowering of trade barriers th... P. J. O'ROURKE Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. P. J. O'ROURKE Writing is turning one's worst moments into money. J P DONLEAVY Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. P. J. O'ROURKE Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. P. J. O'ROURKE In Hong Kong there is agglomeration beyond my fondest imaginings. The Kowloon district claims a popu... P. J. O'ROURKE There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently ... P. J. O'ROURKE Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. I... P. J. O'ROURKE The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and ... P. J. O'ROURKE Political discourse has become so rotten that it's no longer possible to tell the stench of one ... P. J. O'ROURKE Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the Dist... P. J. O'ROURKE It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with... P. J. O'ROURKE I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in h... P. J. O'ROURKE Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. P. J. O'ROURKE Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefull... P. J. O'ROURKE I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a learning experience. Then again, I like to think ... P. J. O'ROURKE The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display e... P. J. O'ROURKE There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-... P. J. O'ROURKE With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today... P. J. O'ROURKE When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are le... P. J. O'ROURKE