ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.

ABSOLUTE, adj. Independent, irresponsible. An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins. Not many absolute monarchies are left, most of them having been replaced by limited monarchies, where the sovereign's power for evil (and for good) is greatly curtailed, and by republics, which are governed by chance.

PASSPORT, n. A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

UN-AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.