Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
DON MARQUIS A talk is like a woman's dress. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting...
SOURCE UNKNOWN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Student: "How long do you want this report to be?"Teacher: "I would like you to think of this paper ...
UNKNOWN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play.
J.R. RIM The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX You do not have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
JOHN CIARDI You have enough time to do everything God wants you to do.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Here's proof that if you live long enough, anything is possible.
BARRY MANILOW Next generations will not know what is to have childhood.
DANIEL MELGAçO It is necessary for you to learn from others' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them a...
HYMAN RICKOVER Misery is the stuff of comedy, if one can just live long enough to get over it.
CHARLES PLATT Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX For me life is a challenge. And it will be a challenge if I live to be 100 or if I get to be a trill...
BEAH RICHARDS "The older you get, the more awards you get. So, if you live long enough, then you get all the award...
KIRK DOUGLAS The older you get, the more awards you get. So, if you live long enough, then you get all the awards...
KIRK DOUGLAS All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that, do not believe that yo...
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE For old age is not honored for length of time,
or measured by number of years;
but understandi...
BIBLE Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.
J.K. ROWLING All's well that carries on well
AMIT ABRAHAM Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there's nothing you can do.
GOLDA MEIR Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
GOLDA MEIR Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
MARGARET MEAD Live a good long life. Grow old and die after I do. And if you can, die laughing.
TITE KUBO If a dream scares you ,is not big enough to be pursued.Happiness & satisfaction is way of life,not a...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Learn from the mistakes of others -- you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
SOURCE UNKNOWN Learn from the mistakes of others. You cant live long enough to make them all yourself.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others-you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
JOHN LUTHER If the best is possible, than good is never enough and only do the best.
ROBERT SIAHAAN The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK I don't think I'm old enough or experienced enough to give anyone any guidance. All I would ...
SANIA MIRZA Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
GOLDA MEIR Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard there's nothing you can do.
GOLDA MEIR He who is hated by all can not expect to live long.
PIERRE CORNEILLE I have the not altogether unsatisfying impression that civilisation is collapsing around me.
THEODORE DALRYMPLE May you get exactly what you want and live long enough to regret it.
SHERRILYN KENYON If you brave enough to live it, the least I can do is listen.
CYNTHIA BOND Bridesmaid is getting old, I can promise you that, especially when I've played good enough to get th...
CHRIS DIMARCO I cannot continue to live a life I am not born to live! I cannot continue to exert my full strength ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I have lived long enough. My way of life is to fall into the sere, the yellow leaf, and that which s...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Your latest news is just news being repeated over and over again. It's old news already.
ANDONI GARCIA You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all...
SAM LEVENSON You aren’t old enough to have such regrets.”
“Pain doesn’t respect age, my lady.
SHERRILYN KENYON People don't love each other at our age —they please each other, that's all. Later on when you're ...
ALBERT CAMUS A vacation should be just long enough that you're boss misses you, and not long enough for him to di...
SOURCE UNKNOWN Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so lon...
HENRY JAMES Live all you can - it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so lo...
HENRY JAMES Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so lo...
HENRY JAMES We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER Particularly with the market as shaky as it is, all you have to do in the tech sector is say 'boo' t...
JAMES POYNER People don't love each other at our age, Marthe—they please each other, that's all. Later on, when...
ALBERT CAMUS Anyone under the age of 18 (attending) must be picked up by an adult. Twenty (years old) is the olde...
ANTHONY BAILEY Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can ...
GOLDA MEIR I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
BRUCE LANSKY I don't think there's nearly enough interesting ways to do education online, particularly fo...
DAVE MCCLURE Ah, Hannah, you have never longed to live as I long to live if you do not know that another day is t...
PHILIPPA GREGORY Do not get elated at any victory, for all such victory is subject to the will of God.
ABU BAKR I think, if you have enough inner resources, then you can live in isolation for long periods of time...
AUNG SAN SUU KYI I am lucky, I don't have aches and pains. I do Pilates regularly, which is a series of stretchin...
IAN MCKELLEN The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis.
CRAIG GROESCHEL A reverse mortgage is a loan against your home that you do not have to pay back for as long as you l...
ANDREW CROCKER A reverse mortgage is a loan against your home that you do not have to pay back for as long as you l...
ANDREW B. CROCKER What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting...
BRIGITTE BARDOT Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal, ... Even ...
BILL MURRAY I don't believe in happy endings, but I do believe in happy travels, because ultimately, you die at ...
GEORGE CLOONEY Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
LEON TROTSKY Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
JAMES THURBER That was particularly disappointing. You couldn't get a nicer person than Keith Wright but the time ...
GORDON MCDOUGALL Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restr...
GLORIA SWANSON If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough.
VICKI ROBIN Here's proof that if you live long enough, anything is possible.
BARRY MANILOW In life the only time a person can really be sexually holy is old age,because by that time all our s...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) When a man is old enough to do wrong he should be old enough to do right also
OSCAR WILDE It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up...
EMILY CARR It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up...
JOSH BILLINGS Solitude, at first is scary. All you have is yourself. After a while its comforting, it knows the re...
NIKKI ROWE Everyone's interesting if you stare at them long enough.
FRANCESCA ZAPPIA Enough is enough. There is only so long you can beat a dead horse,
CHRISTINE GREGOIRE I mean, Eighteen years old is the age of consent in Europe and you can go anywhere and do anything y...
JOHN ENTWISTLE When there is not enough time to do your best, do the best you can with the time you have.
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH Bridesmaid is getting old, I can promise you that, especially when I've played good enough to get th...
CHRIS DIMARCO You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.
C.S. LEWIS You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me
C.S. LEWIS Life is a re-discovery.
BRIAN BLESSED If you think that life is a celebration full of party poppers and merry go rounds it's not it's a ga...
GARY F EVANS... Life Is a Misconception.
DEYTH BANGER Life is a desire!
DEYTH BANGER To trust someone you must firstly remember that it is a two way street that will go all the way if y...
GARY F EVANS... It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. T...
MARK TWAIN Such is the feebleness of humanity, such is its perversity, that doubtless it is better for it to be...
VOLTAIRE I believe that anyone can cook a great meal. Basically all you need to do is get your hands on some ...
NADIA GIOSIA
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX