All the people named Dan Kaufman who I find online seem to be short, balding Jewish men with glasses. The older I get, the more I seem to be becoming one of them.

There's a lot of people running around helping other people get their vehicles started. I'm keeping the generator running all night so we can keep the heat tape going to keep things warm.

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

A discharged employee leaves unhappy. Many people who are discharged, first thing they do is open the Yellow Pages and call a lawyer, looking for someone to sue. [As a business owner] all you can do is take steps to protect your exposure.

I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut-or get angry from the gut.

I'm interested in stories about people as we knew them in the near-recent future.