Already things are changing; it´s starting with small shit but oh it´s starting, the change, the irrevocable, impossible change.

My mind floats like ash. I blame myself most cruelly.

Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid.

I have a new mantra, which I chant softly to myself: "Oh My God Oh My God.

A heart can stop beating for a while, one can still live.

This is much worse than losing a cat. You do not wish the cat dead, for example, after the first two days. You still love the cat and presumably the cat still loves you, or some variation of love that may in fact be dependence and even indifference. People should be informed, as adopting a cat and becoming married take about the same amount of time and money and yet have such drastically different results. Indeed, except for the similar price($28)and the average time spent together, all similarity between pet adoption and marriage ends nastily.