Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Don't own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.

It’s funny how much easier it is to see others’ shortcomings and give advice when you’re not personally involved, for it’s almost impossible to see the light when you’re swimming in shit.

Life is full of infinite absurdities, which, strangely enough, do not even need to appear plausible, since they are true

Sometimes—or usually, in your case—the best thing to do is shut up.

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.