And he leans in, so carefully. Breathing
and not breathing and hearts beating
between us and he’s so close, he’s so close and I can’t feel my legs anymore. I can’t feel my fingers or the cold or the emptiness of this room because all I feel is him, everywhere,filling everything and he whispers
“Please.”
He says “Please don’t shoot me for this.”
And he kisses me.
His lips are softer than anything I've ever known, soft like a first snowfall, like biting into cotton candy, like melting and floating and being weightless in water. It’s sweet, it’s
so effortlessly sweet.
And then it changes.
“Oh God—”
He kisses me again, this time stronger,
desperate, like he has to have me, like he’s dying to memorize the feel of my lips against his own. The taste of him is making me crazy; he’s all heat and desire and peppermint and I want more. I've just begun reeling him in, pulling him into me when he breaks away.
He’s breathing like he’s lost his mind andhe’s looking at me like something has brokeninside of him, like he’s woken up to find that
his nightmares were just that, that they never existed, that it was all just a bad dream that felt far too real but now he’s awake and he’s safe and everything is going to be okay and
I’m falling.
I’m falling apart and into his heart and I’m a disaster.


Tahereh Mafi

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So that's it?" Kenji says. "You just like him for his personality, huh?"

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Lift your hips for me, love.
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Why are you touching me?"

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TAHEREH MAFI
You allow the world to think you're a heartless murderer," I tell him. "And you're not."

...
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You’re perfect,” I tell him, so overcome I forget myself. “All of you. Your entire body.
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This girl is destroying me.
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Because I want her.
Now.
Here.
Everywhere.
I want nothing between us.
I wa...
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I loved making you mad," he says to me, his eyes wicked. "I love making you mad.
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TAHEREH MAFI
And I've fallen.

So hard.

I've hit the ground. Gone right through it. Never in...
TAHEREH MAFI
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TAHEREH MAFI
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TAHEREH MAFI
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TAHEREH MAFI
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I do want you," I say to him, my voice shaking. "I want you so much it scares me.
TAHEREH MAFI
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TAHEREH MAFI
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...
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TAHEREH MAFI
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Come back to life, love. I'll be here when you wake up.
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Narrow-mindedness will only get you as far as Nowhere, and once you're there, you're lost forever.
TAHEREH MAFI
I love you, ” he says , his words harsh and soft all at once. “ I love you and it isn’t enough...
TAHEREH MAFI
I'm petrified. Because being this close to you is doing things to me. Strange things and irrational ...
TAHEREH MAFI
There is nothing to fear. Nothing to worry about. Grieve nothing in this transitionary world. It's t...
TAHEREH MAFI
Warner. A white bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. A fair - skinned boy with gold...
TAHEREH MAFI
We are hours and minutes reaching for the same second, holding hands as we spin forward into new day...
TAHEREH MAFI
Juliette ? ” A tentative voice . “ Are you okay? ” I lower the pillow . Blink up . Warner is w...
TAHEREH MAFI
No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kil...
TAHEREH MAFI
He’s kissing me like the world is rolling right off a cliff, like he’s trying to hang on and he�...
TAHEREH MAFI
His chest, heaving harder this time. His words, almost gasping this time. “You destroy me.”
TAHEREH MAFI
I want so many things,” he whispers. “I want your mind. Your strength. I want to be worth your t...
TAHEREH MAFI
I only know now that the scientists are wrong.

The world is flat.

I know becau...
TAHEREH MAFI
I grieve nothing. I take everything.
TAHEREH MAFI
We breathe when we're wrong, we breathe when we're right, we breathe even as we slip off the ledge t...
TAHEREH MAFI
I have to get out of this room as soon as possible, or my own thoughts will wage war against me.
TAHEREH MAFI
I imagine this is what it feels like to fall apart.
TAHEREH MAFI
Swallow the tears back often enough and they’ll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat....
TAHEREH MAFI
I’m happy to have her close even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make any sense.
TAHEREH MAFI
Friendship is not a thing I have ever experienced. Not as a child, and not as I am now. Except. One ...
TAHEREH MAFI
If it were nothing but sexual attraction I’m sure I would not suffer such unbearable humiliation. ...
TAHEREH MAFI
I’ve fallen for her…So hard. I’ve hit the ground. Gone right through it. Never in my life have...
TAHEREH MAFI
I've never read anything that could speak directly to my bones.
TAHEREH MAFI
There was something about my face,she said, that she couldn't stand. Something about my eyes, the wa...
TAHEREH MAFI
That traitorous bastard. The idiot who thinks he's won himself a pretty girl. He has no idea who she...
TAHEREH MAFI
Kenji is a walking paradox of Unflinchingly Serious Person and 12-Year-Old Boy Going Through Puberty...
TAHEREH MAFI
I have an extremely low threshold for disorder; it offends my very being.
TAHEREH MAFI
I will give no one the satisfaction of my death.
TAHEREH MAFI
Sir, can you hear me?" Another cry. But this time, a voice I don't detest.
"Sire, please, can y...
TAHEREH MAFI
There’s something simmering inside of me. Something I’ve never dared to tap into, something I’...
TAHEREH MAFI
I want to be someone else somewhere else with something else to fill my mind.
TAHEREH MAFI
Sometimes I close my eyes and paint these walls a different color. I imagine I’m wearing warm sock...
TAHEREH MAFI
This girl is destroying me. A girl who has spent the last year in an insane asylum. A girl who would...
TAHEREH MAFI
She searches me with those odd, blue-green eyes and I feel guilty so suddenly, without understanding...
TAHEREH MAFI
Sometimes I wish I could step outside of myself for a while. I want to leave this worn body behind, ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Torture is not torture when there’s any hope of relief.
TAHEREH MAFI
These letters are all I have left.
26 friends to tell my stories to.
26 letters are all I ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Dude, you ran off with the crazy chick! You ran off with the psycho girl!" he's calling after Adam. ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Hope in this world bleeds out of the barrel of a gun.
TAHEREH MAFI
He whispers, "You have no idea how much I've thought about you. How many times I've dreamt"-he takes...
TAHEREH MAFI
I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed...
TAHEREH MAFI
Adam stares at me so long I begin to blush. He tips my chin up so I meet his eyes. Blue blue blue bo...
TAHEREH MAFI
Girls are always talking about electricity in their romance, but none are too happy to actually be e...
TAHEREH MAFI
Killing time isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I can shoot a hundred numbers through the c...
TAHEREH MAFI
You can't touch me," I whisper. I'm lying, is what I don't tell him. He can touch me, is what I'll n...
TAHEREH MAFI
Someone picked up the sun and pinned it to the sky again, but every day it hangs a little lower than...
TAHEREH MAFI
I am nothing but novocaine. I am numb, a world of nothing, all feeling and emotion gone forever. TAHEREH MAFI My voice softens. 'How old are you?'
'I'll be eleven next year.'
I grin. 'So you're...
TAHEREH MAFI
Hope is hugging me, holding me in its arms, wiping away my tears and telling me that today and tomor...
TAHEREH MAFI
The man is moody as hell.”

“I am not moody—”

“Yeah, bro.” K...
TAHEREH MAFI
Time goes on even when we do not.
TAHEREH MAFI
I am suspended in the moment. Flickering images faded with age, frozen thoughts hovering precariousl...
TAHEREH MAFI
You can go to hell!"
"Just because I'm going to hell doesn't mean you'll ever deserve her.
TAHEREH MAFI
Please—please get up—and lower your voice—”
“Hell no.”
“Why no...
TAHEREH MAFI
Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?"
"What?" He looks mortally offended. "Do I look l...
TAHEREH MAFI
Sticks and stones keep breaking my bones but these words, these words will kill me.
TAHEREH MAFI
Because something inside of my heart is ripping apart and it feels like fear, it tastes like panic a...
TAHEREH MAFI
Tell me what you want" he [Warner] says desperately. "Tell me what to do," he says, "and I'll do it.
TAHEREH MAFI
.. but you-with you-" Hefalters. Looks down. "How am I supposed to go back?" he asks, so quietly. "H...
TAHEREH MAFI
The truth," he says, "is a painful reminder of why I prefer to live among the lies.
TAHEREH MAFI
Twice.
Once for Adam.
Once for Warner.
TAHEREH MAFI
People can think whatever they like....I don't desire their validation.
TAHEREH MAFI
Hang tight
Hold on
Look up
Stay strong
Hang on
Hold tight
Look strong<...
TAHEREH MAFI
I would rather be dead, than go back to being silent and suffocated.
TAHEREH MAFI
All I know next are his arms, the desperate edge to his voice when he says my name, and I'm unraveli...
TAHEREH MAFI
You know, I can sort of control it now," I tell him, beaming. "I can moderate my strength levels." TAHEREH MAFI I'm not falling for Warner," I say quietly.
"Sure you aren't."
"I'm not," I insist. "I'm j...
TAHEREH MAFI
Because I was dying.
  And Warner could’ve let me die. He was angry and hurt and had ever...
TAHEREH MAFI
He and I would end up like water going nowhere. Water that never moves-- It's fine for a little whil...
TAHEREH MAFI
Back to work. And this time, focus. You’re not an ape. Don’t just throw your shit everywhere.
TAHEREH MAFI
It's incredible how someone can look so right and feel so wrong. Kent is a lucky bastard.
TAHEREH MAFI
So I take a deep breath.
Step forward.
Let go.

10 seconds and I'm trying to bre...
TAHEREH MAFI
At least I'm honest about being a liar
TAHEREH MAFI
I want to trust but it scares the skin off my bones.
TAHEREH MAFI
A handful of letters doesn't always make a word, love.
TAHEREH MAFI
You're naked?" Kenji is suddenly studying my sheet and not bothering to be subtle about it. I flush ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Juliette,” he says.

“Yes?”

I can hear him breathing.

“Thank...
TAHEREH MAFI