Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones.

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?

I've won Satan's lottery.

Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.

You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash.
"You should know what to do."
"They don't cover what to do with a dead hooker," Lash countered. "That's a whole
different program. Political science, I think.