Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.