Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.

Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip!

Trying is the first step to failure

Ah, the Luftwaffe - the Washington Generals of the History Channel!

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Operator, give me the number for 911!