Are you sure you want to go out with someone with that kind of history? ...He could have a psychotic break. I read that people get those when they're twenty-eight.

Don't you think it's weird how dating profiles emphasize listings of your favorite TV shows, movies, and books? It's as if you are supposed to define yourself by how you distract yourself. It's like impersonating a person--this is what I do instead of engaging with other people.

They went to university because someone, at a time when universities seemed important, said that in order to rise in the world, you had to have a degree. And thus the world was deprived of some excellent gardeners, bakers, antique dealers, sculptors, and writers.

I was wild and tame and pulled into shreds and crushed into being all at once.

People shouldn't have to earn kindness. They should have to earn cruelty.

Annie looks dreamy, but she always does because she can’t see farther than three feet away. Elizabeth looks vaguely angry, but she always does because she can see farther than three feet away.