John Hodgman quote: "As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things."

Comics have a problem, and that is continuity - the obsession with placing the characters in an exis...
JOHN HODGMAN

Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will ...
JOHN HODGMAN

Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That's like the worst thing you can...
JOHN HODGMAN

A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.
JOHN HODGMAN

What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum! That's an amusing relic of our past.
JOHN HODGMAN

Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
JOHN HODGMAN

Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
JOHN HODGMAN

First of all, I wish I could grow a beard.
JOHN HODGMAN

I know nothing about letting go.
JOHN HODGMAN

I feel that there is a decision people make to either engage in a legitimately ridiculous process to...
JOHN HODGMAN

Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just b...
JOHN HODGMAN

It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America wi...
JOHN HODGMAN

People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing ...
JOHN HODGMAN

Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan]...
JOHN HODGMAN

The idea of having several days, never mind weeks or months, to relocate to a climate that was bette...
JOHN HODGMAN

For a long time, I would write without music, because I thought it was distracting until I appreciat...
JOHN HODGMAN

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.
JOHN HODGMAN

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures an...
JOHN HODGMAN

Stories make sense when so much around us is senseless, and perhaps what makes them most comforting ...
JOHN HODGMAN

I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
JOHN HODGMAN

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been ...
JOHN HODGMAN

We considered two charges, felony stalking and assault with a deadly weapon, and found there was ins...
WILLIAM HODGMAN

In certain, specific incidents, the paparazzi have crossed the line into criminal behavior.
WILLIAM HODGMAN

The ranks have swelled. It's like the gold rush of 1849. The photo opportunities are here. We have e...
WILLIAM HODGMAN

Jack and Jill slept, wrapped in each other's arms, untroubled by any dream in their cocoon of freshl...
HELEN HODGMAN

My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of so...
JOHN OLIVER

Protest and anger practically always derives from hope, and the shouting out against injustice is al...
JOHN BERGER

No man is to be credited for his mere authority's sake, unless he can show Scripture for the mai...
JOHN WYCLIFFE

By ensuring that no one in government has too much power, the Constitution helps protect ordinary Am...
JOHN ROBERTS

Human beings, we have dark sides; we have dark issues in our lives. To progress anywhere in life, yo...
JOHN NOBLE

Learn as many mistakes and what not to do while your business or product is small. Don't be in s...
DAYMOND JOHN

Being thrown into the fire and getting the thing turned around in a hurry made it more difficult. Th...
JOHN ELWAY

This Constitution was not made for a day, nor is it composed of such flexible materials as to be war...
JOHN TYLER

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
JOHN LENNON

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
JOHN MORTIMER

No power on earth has a right to take our property from us without our consent.
JOHN JAY

Every man has a property in his own person. This nobody has a right to, but himself.
JOHN LOCKE

High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just ...
JOHN MAYER

When I was growing up in rural Alabama, it was impossible for me to register to vote. I didn't b...
JOHN LEWIS

The documented incidences of voter fraud are very rare, yet throughout the country, forces have mobi...
JOHN LEWIS

Seeing that a Pilot steers the ship in which we sail, who will never allow us to perish even in the ...
JOHN CALVIN

I was introduced to the Turducken in New Orleans. And it wasn't Thanksgiving. Glenn at the Gourm...
JOHN MADDEN

Christians were instructed to serve others, and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the fa...
JOHN CLAYTON

Is it possible that the portrait of the divine Son of God is an exaggeration, at best, or a complete...
JOHN CLAYTON

Was the real Jesus of history one and the same as the Christ of faith whom we read about in the New ...
JOHN CLAYTON

I believe any question that man can ask has a reasonable answer-at least an answer that is as consis...
JOHN CLAYTON

Almost every time I am in a lectureship on a college campus, young people will say, If there is a Go...
JOHN CLAYTON

I guess none of us like to look back in our lives to a time when we made poor judgments and foolish ...
JOHN CLAYTON

In the surface of the paper there is only length and width-there is no such thing as thickness.
JOHN CLAYTON

Why is it any more reasonable to believe that God has always been than it is to say that matter has ...
JOHN CLAYTON

What is the origin of God?
JOHN CLAYTON

The emphasis on the birth of Christ tends to polarize our pluralistic society and create legal and e...
JOHN CLAYTON

The denominational world tries to pressure its members to focus on the birth of Christ, but in doing...
JOHN CLAYTON

Not only are Christians writing about Jesus, but also Communists, Jews, atheists and agnostics are t...
JOHN CLAYTON

There was no instruction to be thankful that the Christians were special people, chosen people. Ther...
JOHN CLAYTON

It is my fervent hope and prayer that by exposing my mistakes and by pointing out the things that we...
JOHN CLAYTON

We are assuming that we exist, that there is reality, and that the matter of which we are made is re...
JOHN CLAYTON

The purpose of this study is to offer a logical, practical, pragmatic proof of the existence of God ...
JOHN CLAYTON

Since I was an atheist for many years and came to believe in God through my studies in science, it f...
JOHN CLAYTON

How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
JOHN BURROUGHS

You wouldn't do something for a receiver to catch the ball if the quarterback couldn't throw...
JOHN MADDEN

I'm not everybody's cup of tea. But sometimes criticism can be hurtful. Be respectful. I'...
ELTON JOHN

The prison-industrial complex, poverty, and the school system has more effect on a young black male ...
JOHN LEGEND

I have learned in fashion to be a little savage.
JOHN FAIRCHILD

Perhaps they thought I was on a fact-finding mission, never for one moment thinking that a man of my...
JOHN PRESCOTT

My consultant keeps telling me sudden death could come at any moment.
JOHN TAVENER

As you grow older, you learn a few things. One of them is to actually take the time you've allot...
JOHN BATTELLE

When California was wild, it was the floweriest part of the continent.
JOHN MUIR

Inherent in architecture, it involves everything in life so that there is absolutely no end to it. B...
JOHN LAUTNER

My folks always let me go to the movies every Saturday. We were really motion-picture goers.
JOHN WAYNE

I was ashamed to admit I was hipped to the idea of acting. That's why I started in with the prop...
JOHN WAYNE

I've loved reading all my life.
JOHN WAYNE

Nothing is so discouraging to an actor than to have to work for long hours upon hours in brightly li...
JOHN WAYNE

I'd read up on the history of our country and I'd become fascinated with the story of the Al...
JOHN WAYNE

Get off your butt and join the Marines!
JOHN WAYNE

Everybody that I was in school with had an uncle or father in the law, and I started to realize that...
JOHN WAYNE

Real art is basic emotion. If a scene is handled with simplicity - and I don't mean simple - it&...
JOHN WAYNE

In westerns, you meet a hardy bunch of characters. There is no jealousy on such pictures.
JOHN WAYNE

I was sure I'd set the world on fire, and it was hard for a young feller like me to realize the ...
JOHN WAYNE

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers ...
JOHN WAYNE

All I'm for is the liberty of the individual.
JOHN WAYNE

Nobody should come to the movies unless he believes in heroes.
JOHN WAYNE

When you come to see a picture of mine, I want you to know that I'm not going to do anything tha...
JOHN WAYNE

You learn a lot more from the lows because it makes you pay attention to what you're doing.
JOHN ELWAY

I've experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I think to really appreciate anything ...
JOHN ELWAY

If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer ...
JOHN WOODEN

Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realised that the imagery in my mind wasn't i...
JOHN LENNON

Take care, be kind, be considerate of other people and other species, and be loving.
JOHN LITHGOW

Buildings should serve people, not the other way around.
JOHN PORTMAN

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.
JOHN DONNE

Self-righteousness has killed more people than smoking.
JOHN MCCARTHY

If you don't interfere with me, I'll always do something really good.
JOHN MALKOVICH

I think people took Grenada for what it turned out to be, which was a very specific incident and fro...
JOHN NEGROPONTE

Generalizations, like brooms, ought not to stand in a corner forever; they ought to sweep as a matte...
JOHN LUKACS

Well, if you're true to yourself you're going to be true to everyone else.
JOHN WOODEN

The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
JOHN MILTON

I'm not interested in my legacy. I made up a word: 'live-acy.' I'm more interested i...
JOHN GLENN

The loss of wealth is loss of dirt, as sages in all times assert; The happy man's without a shir...
JOHN HEYWOOD

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
JOHN HEYWOOD

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
JOHN HEYWOOD

When all candles be out, all cats be grey.
JOHN HEYWOOD

Written by a sponge dipped in warm milk and sprinkled with sugar.
JOHN CIARDI

It is easy enough to praise men for the courage of their convictions. I wish I could teach the sad y...
JOHN CIARDI

What has any poet to trust more than the feel of the thing? Theory concerns him only until he picks ...
JOHN CIARDI

Every game ever invented by mankind, is a way of making things hard for the fun of it!
JOHN CIARDI

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.
JOHN CIARDI

Poetry lies its way to the truth.
JOHN CIARDI

Intelligence recognizes what has happened. Genius recognizes what will happen.
JOHN CIARDI

Nothing goes further toward a man's liberation than the act of surviving his need for character.
JOHN CIARDI

The day will happen whether or not you get up.
JOHN CIARDI

You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
JOHN CIARDI

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they hav...
JOHN CIARDI

The classroom should be an entrance into the world, not an escape from it.
JOHN CIARDI

With any of the movies I've had a chance to do, or any of the TV shows I've had a chance to ...
JOHN CENA

The deep joy we take in the company of people with whom we have just recently fallen in love is undi...
JOHN CHEEVER

Lay this unto your breast: Old friends, like old swords, still are trusted best.
JOHN WEBSTER

Old friends are best.
JOHN SELDEN

They say stay in the lines, but there's always something better on the other side.
JOHN MAYER

Rome was not built in one day.
JOHN HEYWOOD

You win by working hard, making tough decisions and building coalitions.
JOHN ENGLER

I love the description of Gothic churches before the printed word, that they were the bibles of the ...
JOHN MCGAHERN

The last thing on my mind was to be an actor, but I had a crush on a cute girl in the drama departme...
JOHN RATZENBERGER

He who laughs most, learns best.
JOHN CLEESE

Some people feel fulfillment from a bitter end - it gives them some sort of sense of reality. But, w...
JOHN BOYEGA

I've never eaten just a few bites of things I liked in my life.
JOHN MADDEN

The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.
JOHN WOODEN

A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.
JOHN WOODEN

Just try to be the best you can be; never cease trying to be the best you can be. That's in your...
JOHN WOODEN

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
JOHN WOODEN

Where all is but dream, reasoning and arguments are of no use, truth and knowledge nothing.
JOHN LOCKE

It is of great use to the sailor to know the length of his line, though he cannot with it fathom all...
JOHN LOCKE

It is one thing to show a man that he is in an error, and another to put him in possession of the tr...
JOHN LOCKE

The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.
JOHN LOCKE

It doesn't matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or whether I'm a woman or a ...
JOHN LENNON

I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people cal...
JOHN LENNON

I believe time wounds all heels.
JOHN LENNON

The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. I...
JOHN LENNON

When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have...
JOHN LENNON

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, th...
JOHN LENNON

I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always...
JOHN LENNON

You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!
JOHN LENNON

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
JOHN LENNON

All men are liable to error; and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptat...
JOHN LOCKE

In response to the challenge of strangers, sport arose as a sublimated representation of a community...
JOHN THORN

I'm really passionate about pantomime because it is often the first introduction for a child to ...
JOHN BARROWMAN

You have to keep persevering. An actor goes to a lot of auditions and doesn't get the part.
JOHN MCENROE

Unemployment is sky-rocketing; deflation is in our future for the first time since the Great Depress...
JOHN MELLENCAMP

A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.
JOHN LUBBOCK

So much of what we do is ephemeral and quickly forgotten, even by ourselves, so it's gratifying ...
JOHN WILLIAMS

Remaining childish is a tremendous state of innocence.
JOHN LYDON

There's rock n' roll in hip-hop, there's rock n' roll in pop music, there's rock...
JOHN VARVATOS

Get off your horse and drink your milk.
JOHN WAYNE

The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do.
JOHN MCAFEE

I can never consent to being dictated to.
JOHN TYLER

There, I guess King George will be able to read that without his spectacles!
JOHN HANCOCK

When you have a regime that would be happier in the afterlife than in this life, this is not a regim...
JOHN BOLTON

Well, you could take several stories off the buildings of most U.S. government agencies and we'd...
JOHN BOLTON

You don't need to spend tens of millions of dollars on political consultants to tell you what yo...
JOHN BOLTON

Diplomacy is not an end in itself if it does not advance U.S. interests.
JOHN BOLTON

Just as the Security Council was largely irrelevant to the great struggle of the last half of the tw...
JOHN BOLTON

I'm a conservative Republican. I have been since I was 15 years old and participated in the '...
JOHN BOLTON

People say you favor assassination, what do you think war is? Except that it's assassination on ...
JOHN BOLTON

There's no religious test under the constitution. That's what it says. Period.
JOHN BOLTON

North Korea is going to get away with keeping its nuclear weapons.
JOHN BOLTON

I think that, especially among conservatives, there's a clear understanding that there are three...
JOHN BOLTON

A lot of people have said to me, 'That's a great idea, running for president. You'll get...
JOHN BOLTON

The U.N. is one of many competitors in a marketplace of global problem solving.
JOHN BOLTON

I don't do carrots.
JOHN BOLTON

My philosophy is not a bean-counting, accounting 'look at this.' It is a philosophy that sma...
JOHN BOLTON

Politicians, like generals, have a tendency to fight the last war.
JOHN BOLTON

Reform is not a one-night stand.
JOHN BOLTON

I think the International Criminal Court could be a threat to American security interests, because t...
JOHN BOLTON

There is no such thing as the United Nations.
JOHN BOLTON

Everybody pursues their national interests. The only one who gets blamed for it is the United States...
JOHN BOLTON

There is no patriotic obligation to help advance the career of a politician who is otherwise pursuin...
JOHN BOLTON

We estimate that once Iraq acquires fissile material - whether from a foreign source or by securing ...
JOHN BOLTON

There's no such thing as the United Nations. If the U.N. secretary building in New York lost 10 ...
JOHN BOLTON

In the United States, there is a broadly shared view that the U.N. is one of many potential instrume...
JOHN BOLTON

It's not natural disasters that are to blame for the deprivation of the North Korean people, but...
JOHN BOLTON

Negotiation is not a policy. It's a technique. It's something you use when it's to your ...
JOHN BOLTON

I haven't given up on the possibility that sweet reason will prevail.
JOHN BOLTON

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
JOHN ACTON

My best tennis at my peak was when I played a lot of matches.
JOHN MCENROE

Punishment is the last and the least effective instrument in the hands of the legislator for the pre...
JOHN RUSKIN

There is no priority higher than the prevention of terrorism.
JOHN ASHCROFT

If my leg falls off, I'll get a prosthetic. There'd be no deep sadness about. I'd just g...
JOHN LYDON

It's a challenge to grow professionally and move up the corporate ladder when you're not rec...
JOHN RAMPTON

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you reall...
JOHN WOODEN

I do not support raising the minimum wage, and the reason is as follows. When the minimum wage is ra...
JOHN SUNUNU

Love is the answer, and you know that for sure; Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
JOHN LENNON

We are like chameleons, we take our hue and the color of our moral character, from those who are aro...
JOHN LOCKE

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
JOHN LENNON

Do what you need to do and enjoy life as it happens.
JOHN SCALZI

Any tool can be used for good or bad. It's really the ethics of the artist using it.
JOHN KNOLL

I find that the best way to do things is to constantly move forward and to never doubt anything and ...
JOHN FRUSCIANTE

In this age of communications that span both distance and time, the only tool we have that approxima...
JOHN MCAFEE

My own personal popularity can have no influence over me when the dictates of my best judgment and t...
JOHN TYLER

Be true to yourself. Make each day a masterpiece. Help others. Drink deeply from good books. Make fr...
JOHN WOODEN

Las Vegas is the expression, in glitter and concrete, of America's brittle and mutating id.
JOHN BURDETT

As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.

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John Hodgman

As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.

John Hodgman

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