As a woman grows older, you can give her a [tummy-tuck], you can give her LASIK if her vision goes bad and you can give her a hearing aid. But you can't cure stupid,

In arena football, the offense is a timing offense. If you give the quarterback time and vision, he should be able to move the ball properly.

Our founder was a woman of great vision who knew early on that women are not small men and shouldn't be treated as such. Her goal was to make the hospital as homelike as possible, and we continue to adhere to her vision today by treating each patient like they're family.

I'm more depressed about the realities of the mature bureaucracy and more excited about the ideal that we're fighting for. And the juxtaposition has obvious consequences. Rolf Mowatt-Larrsen

JFK wanted to put a man on the moon. My vision is to put every American man and woman on a campus. ... The World is Flat

I was always a funny guy. I don't think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn't a funny guy when they were young.