At 13 years old, I realized I could start my own band. I could write my own song, I could record my own record. I could start my own label. I could release my own record. I could book my own shows. I could write and publish my own fanzine. I could silk-screen my own T-shirt. I could do this all myself.
Dave Grohl
Related When I started writing a business column 15 years ago, I knew I'd found the perfect job for myse... ALLAN SLOAN I think I could definitely hold my own. MALLORIE WINN I could see it from own my experience. ALLISON NERMOE I am my own woman. EVITA PERON I like to write. I love to write. But I write just for myself and my own pleasure. J. D. SALINGER I dreamed of having a book of my own, of writing one that I could put on a shelf. PATTI SMITH If I could play the ukulele like Zooey Deschanel, I would find my own personal M. Ward, and we would... ANNA KENDRICK I liked pretending to be other people: I could reinvent myself, reinvent my own reality. HELENA BONHAM CARTER I got tired of depending on other people, and I had this strong desire to make music of my own. I de... LEON BRIDGES But I don't want to write my own fiction,' Cath said, as emphatically as she could. 'I don't want to... RAINBOW ROWELL If only I could take my own advice...
I would never need advice RACHEL-ERIKA HENDERSON All I could think about was my own brother. If anybody ever told me I couldn't live with my brother,... KARLA WHETZEL I knew my own situation, my own town, and I knew I had it in my hand. Once I got it, I knew I could ... CARL STOKES I could never be on stage on my own. But puppets can say things that humans can't say. NINA CONTI How could I not love my own brother? I just can't stand to be with him. DAVE DAVIES I have my own publishing company called 'I Am McLovin Publishing.' TEYANA TAYLOR I grew up horseback riding. That was my passion. I didn't start shopping until about 16 or 17, w... MARY-KATE OLSEN I write my own music. By myself, on a computer, I program guitar and piano. CHRISTINA GRIMMIE Somehow, I realized I could write books about black characters who reflected my own experiences or o... TANANARIVE DUE I began the process of recording myself seriously in the fall of 1999. If I could finish an album of... JACK IRONS I think my own strengths are in television production. JIM HENSON I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. MADONNA CICCONE I am often the brunt of my own humor. CHARLES R. SWINDOLL I came to love, I came into my own. THEODORE ROETHKE I don't like that I'm my own commodity, that I am what I sell. CAROL KANE I feel pretty confident in my own ability. GERRY BECKLEY I think I held my own last year, but I know it wasn't my best year. I could have done a lot better. ERIC WARFIELD I was completely paralyzed. I couldn't open my eyes. I could hear people talking. I thought I was at... ERIC KAPLAN Robert Herring had enough trust in me to think I could carry my own show. TOMI LAHREN The more I get connected to my own breath and my own yogic experience and my own prayer and my own i... GIANCARLO ESPOSITO Now that I think about it, maybe my own literary exploration of the dark secrets held by families co... ALAFAIR BURKE No man could have accepted me because I am too rebellious. It would have been catastrophe. I am too ... FATEMA MERNISSI I am restless. I don't mind leaving this comfortable, static life. I could live a year on my own... MICHAEL PALIN I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. CRAIG FERGUSON I feel like I'm in my own world: in the world but not a part of it. LEE RADZIWILL I've developed my own passion for them. I decided I wanted to be as good at both as I could be. JULIE PHILLIPS I fancied I had some constancy of mind because I could bear my own sufferings, but found through the... SARAH FIELDING I'm my own worst critic and I think everyone in the band is a perfectionist. ADAM JONES No one could save me from the grief of losing my child or losing my first marriage. I had to do that... ARIEL LEVY I put less stock in others' opinions than my own. No one else's opinions could derail me. JUDD NELSON I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case. JOHN KNOWLES I really hate pain. I'd pull my own soul out if it meant I could stop the pain. YUN KOUGA Personally, I feel that in my own work I wanted to look programmed or impersonal but I don't rea... ROY LICHTENSTEIN I mean, I'm just speaking of my own experiences and my own desires, and it's a kind of a chi... SHIRLEY MACLAINE I love the pioneers like Sam Cooke and Otis Redding, but when I write music, it comes out in my own ... LEON BRIDGES I didn't really want to be part of a clique or a niche. But I also was looking for my own voice,... TOM WAITS I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work with, all these fabulous women, 'Believe ... SHERYL SANDBERG I am a leader in my own world. That's enough for me. KATE DEL CASTILLO I am my own muse, the subject I know best. FRIDA KAHLO I am sure of nothing so little as my own intentions. LORD BYRON I'm nobody's deputy. I am who I am. I'm my own person. MIKE LEE I have my own vocabulary. I love linguistics. That surprises people. MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY I'm very gregarious, but I love being in the hills on my own. NORMAN MACCAIG All I can go on is my own value system. BILLY CORGAN I'm happy to have my own opinion and air it when I think it's necessary. ROBERT MACNEIL I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever. BRIAN CELIO I am my own sanctuary and I can be reborn as many times as I choose throughout my life. LADY GAGA I was a good bartender. I wouldn't say I was the best bartender in New York, but I could hold my... SAMIRA WILEY I am my own secretary; I dictate, I compose, I copy all myself. VENERABLE BEDE I am my own mentor. I like to listen to myself to improve. FETTY WAP I am in that glorious position where I can redesign and re-package my own work. CAMERON MACKINTOSH I specifically left the corporate world so I could wear T-shirts, blue jeans, and honestly, I always... GUY FIERI I don't do my own Instagram. YOUNG THUG I have my own strength. NINA HAGEN I've made sure that in any situation and with any record label, I'm allowed to write my own ... TAYLOR SWIFT I went to Paris to learn and absorb some of the amazing ambience I was enamored with growing up in K... JEREMY SCOTT I already explained this. I don’t like you. True, I don’t like most people, but I especially dis... G.A. AIKEN He knew more of my intended career than I knew myself. I should be well enough educated for my desti... CHARLES DICKENS They wanted me to do what I could do, doing things on my own, so I'd be ready for college. ASHLEY GROTJAHN If I was rich enough, I would love to launch my own record label. I would love to try and give all m... CARA DELEVINGNE But I had absolutely lost all sense of personal dignity, and could not tear myself away from the spe... IVAN TURGENEV No answer I could provide to that question could possibly serve my own future interests." Sarek stra... KEIRA MARCOS To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could... ANGELINA JOLIE I write my own songs. I made my own videos. I pick my producers. Nothing goes out without my permiss... LANA DEL REY When I was 8 years old, I made my own encyclopedia of American biography - Johnny Appleseed, Jim Bow... DOUGLAS BRINKLEY I have always loved clothes, and the opportunity to design my own line could not be missed. It's... JASMINE GUINNESS For me, wearing a tie is a pleasure, a recherche one but a pleasure nonetheless. You could say that ... PETER YORK When I got into the music industry, I wasn't focused on being the most famous artist or even get... JANELLE MONAE I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. My dysfunctional self co... THANDIE NEWTON When I came into Metallica, I had to do justice to Cliff's work, but I also had to put my own si... JASON NEWSTED My knowledge of electrical subjects was not acquired in a methodical manner but was picked up from s... ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Of course I hang out at my bars, ... Why would I go to a bar to pay for drinks when I could go get d... GREG DULLI I worry that I can come off smarmy. I wonder if I was listening to myself if I'd want to kick my... ADAM BRODY When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doi... WHOOPI GOLDBERG I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran ... ARTHUR MILLER When someone from my own party entered... it became clear that I was going to spend the next six mon... RODNEY ALEXANDER I am dying to do an action movie. I can do my own stunts; I can do this. MACKENZIE FOY I would love to have my own fashion line because I love sketching. BECKY G I am often lost in my own world, with a frown on my face. HAYLEY ATWELL From my tribe I take nothing, I am the maker of my own fortune. TECUMSEH I am an undisputed gangster. To me, that means playing by my own rules. KATHERINE RYAN I do not quote my own movies. I think I would be pretty insufferable if I did. DIABLO CODY I am much more my own man than I was when I was with the Stones. BILL WYMAN I bleed feminism. I get equal pay to my male costars on a big show; I have my own home. I'm as i... KALEY CUOCO I wanted to get married so I could leave my house and not have to baby-sit my brothers and sisters. ... BEVERLY BOWMAN The Oscar sits on some shelf above my desk. If there was an earthquake, I could actually be killed b... HELEN HUNT There isn't an amount of money you could offer me to do reality TV. I would rather get my job ba... DAVE GAHAN Yes, I guess you could say I am a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowed room with boring people ... HENRY ROLLINS My son was five months old, and I built a makeshift studio in my living room so that I could do the ... ALANIS MORISSETTE I have made myself what I am. And I would that I could make the red people as great as the conceptio... TECUMSEH
More Dave Grohl
The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w... DAVE GROHL I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do... DAVE GROHL There's poetry in being the band that can sell out Wembley but also makes a record in a garage. ... DAVE GROHL My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'... DAVE GROHL My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener. DAVE GROHL I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started. DAVE GROHL In this day and age, when you can use a machine or computer to simulate or emulate what people can d... DAVE GROHL I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everyt... DAVE GROHL Wow, I get to wake up again? Ok. You have to make good with what you've got. DAVE GROHL I think people should feel encouraged to be themselves. DAVE GROHL When you're young, you're not afraid of what comes next. You're excited by it. DAVE GROHL Your personal history is a part of what happens with your hands and your head as you play music. DAVE GROHL When there's so much left to do, why spend your time focusing on things you've already done,... DAVE GROHL There's always gonna be rock n' roll bands, there's always gonna be kids that love rock ... DAVE GROHL If there's one thing I'm good at, it's gathering people together to do something fun. DAVE GROHL Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It's a black wal... DAVE GROHL I'm kind of claustrophobic... It's not even like enclosed spaces. It's like I hate being... DAVE GROHL I once received a cape that was made from the little purple bags that Crown Royal Whisky comes in. DAVE GROHL I have crazy claustrophobic dreams, weird elevator dreams where the elevator closes in and all of a ... DAVE GROHL I can understand how some people might resent me for having the audacity to continue playing music, ... DAVE GROHL Give me something to assemble, I won't look at the directions, I'll try to figure it out by ... DAVE GROHL I know a lot of people who wouldn't be comfortable with everything that comes with being in a ba... DAVE GROHL Whenever I say I made a record in the garage, people just assume that I have, like, a Lear jet parke... DAVE GROHL There's a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone a... DAVE GROHL From one generation to the next, The Beatles will remain the most important rock band of all time. DAVE GROHL Because you have things like 'American Idol' and you've got radio stations that play mus... DAVE GROHL When Nirvana became popular, you could very easily slip and get lost during that storm. I fortunatel... DAVE GROHL When you're recording to analog tape, it captures performance and you can't necessarily mani... DAVE GROHL People are so into digital recording now they forgot how easy analog recording can be. DAVE GROHL A lot of the records you buy, there's nothing you can hold in your hand, it's all 1's an... DAVE GROHL When digital technology started becoming the norm, you've got 50, 60, 70 years of recordings on ... DAVE GROHL I never needed much, and I never thought I'd get more than what I had. A trip to Burger King was... DAVE GROHL When I joined Nirvana, I was the fifth or sixth drummer - I don't know if they'd ever had a ... DAVE GROHL Mick Fleetwood was one of my first interviews. And if you've ever talked to that dude, he's ... DAVE GROHL Ladies and gentlemen, god bless America - land of the free, home of the brave. DAVE GROHL I love to play music. So why endanger that with something like drugs? DAVE GROHL I don't like to have people do stuff for me. I don't like to have runners go out and get me meals - ... DAVE GROHL It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the ... DAVE GROHL You know, Nirvana used to start rehearsals with the three of us just jamming. For, like, a half an h... DAVE GROHL I don't think of Kurt as 'Kurt Cobain from Nirvana'. I think of him as 'Kurt'. I... DAVE GROHL I owe everything to Nirvana. But I can't let that overshadow the future. For the first few years... DAVE GROHL I've always been a fan of melody and emotional melancholy, whether it was Rites of Spring or Tea... DAVE GROHL I'm so not macho. It's crazy. My man cave is so not a man cave. DAVE GROHL I had never been in charge of anything. I'd always worked for someone. I worked for a furniture ... DAVE GROHL There's a reason why the Foo Fighters don't blast out Nirvana songs every night: because we ... DAVE GROHL There weren't a lot of career opportunities in crazy-fast hardcore punk, so you didn't have ... DAVE GROHL I'm obsessed with Led Zeppelin and have been since I was a teenager, DAVE GROHL I'm big on taking the lady out to dinner. We have some candlelight romance every now and then. And o... DAVE GROHL that dude who played drums in Nirvana. DAVE GROHL Neil Young is my hero, and such a great example. You know what that guy has been doing for the past ... DAVE GROHL I don't really know how to explain it, ... I think that those are just the type of songs that I imag... DAVE GROHL Going out and playing music - that's what I do. I don't do much else. DAVE GROHL I love BLACK SABBATH . They made an amazing contribution to music today. Almost every band that made... DAVE GROHL I like to keep things going, ... No breaks... We have such little time together! DAVE GROHL When he comes in and listens to a song that you're asking him to play on and he turns to you and say... DAVE GROHL CBGB represents a lot to New York City and to underground rock and to new wave and post-punk and wha... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL We'd pull into small towns, and thousands of people would come to be rescued by this man, DAVE GROHL All I really had was a suitcase and my drums. So I took them up to Seattle and hoped it would work. DAVE GROHL Usually after making a record, you imagine it to be your last, ... You just feel tapped out. This ti... DAVE GROHL I never went to rock concerts when I was a kid. I didn't see any rock & roll bands. I had po... DAVE GROHL I never went to rock concerts when I was a kid. I didn't see any rock & roll bands. DAVE GROHL Actually, I didn't start sweating until I had children. DAVE GROHL I didn't start sweating until I had children. That was one of the first things I realized when m... DAVE GROHL When you're thirteen and listening to punk, the aggressive nature of music can sway you to the d... DAVE GROHL A lot of people from my generation of music are so focused on playing things correctly or to perfect... DAVE GROHL I'm happy that I have my family, and I'm happy that I had Virginia, where I grew up, to retr... DAVE GROHL When I listen to the radio, I just hear so much music that doesn't even sound like people. The v... DAVE GROHL I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY