FastSaying

at first I thought you were just using me" she said
"I definitely am." I just wasn't sure for what.
"Asshole!" she said, and punched me in the side. And she laughed as my kidney began to hemorrhage.

That's the beauty of honesty. Everyones so unused to hearing it they just assume you're kidding, and you get to feel very good and forthcoming without suffering any consequences except for traces of blood in your urine for the next day or two.

Paul Neilan

honestyhumorlovepainsattiresex

Related Quotes

It was nice of her to want to believe the best about me. People tend to do that with the strangers they're fucking. If she wanted to think that apathy and independence were the same thing, good for her. Maybe she was right.
— Paul Neilan
apathyhumorlove
If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.
— Paul Neilan
humor
Sometimes the questions are more important than the answers, especially when you do not know what the answers are. I didn't give a shit either way.
— Paul Neilan
favouritehumor
Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: "If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?
— Paul Neilan
bumper-stickerhumor
Christopher Columbus was the first socialist: he didn’t know where he was going, he didn’t know where he was… and he did it all at taxpayers expense.
— Winston Churchill
ChristopherColumbusFirst