Because 'Gob' was a terrible magician, he was always, in great comedic moments, messing up his magic act. We used to have magicians come in to work on these tricks to actually get them wrong. But they still had to work. We had to bring magicians on to make magic not work.


Will Arnett

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I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means o...
WILL ADVISE
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS
Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS
The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS
No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS
If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS
Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States an...
GEORGE WILL
I used to do prank calls as these people and try to convince certain hoteliers that I was someone el...
WILL TUDOR
All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS
The gap between ideals and actualities, between dreams and achievements, the gap that can spur stron...
GEORGE WILL
America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS
We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual.
GEORGE WILL
It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.
GEORGE WILL
Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS
There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS
Most of us spend too much time on the last twenty-four hours and too little on the last six thousand...
WILL DURANT
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
WILL ROGERS