Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

You know, Floridians, we've paid into Social Security. Like a lot of other government programs, we sent money to D.C. We expect to get that money back. We expect that our Social Security is real. So, we have to fix Social Security.

I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

I get an awful lot of fan mail, and I read all that I can.

Me, personally, I was a Mets and Giants fan.