Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
Groucho Marx
Related
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW You've got to get up early - If you want to take in God
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL To succeed, your "why you do it" must be strong enough to get you out of bed early in the morning.
MICHAEL S. That's the biggest part of doing comics: You have to create stuff that makes you want to get out...
DANIEL CLOWES I like to go to bed early so I can get up early.
FREDDIE HIGHMORE Because if I ever get nailed, I don’t want you running out to get the same medicine. Believe me, i...
HENRY V. O'NEIL When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD It's not easy. I got lots of rejections when I first started out. If you want to write, you have...
RICK RIORDAN Getting over what you did to me is not why I get out of bed anymore.
NAOMI SHIHAB NYE They get up early, because they have so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little...
OSCAR WILDE If you really want succeed in what you do, obey this rule;... Wake up very early, go to bed lately.....
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR If you don’t start going after WHAT YOU WANT, then you will NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT! Do you want t...
SHAY DAWKINS If you believe you are the best, you can't get better, and I always want to get better.
VALENTINO ROSSI Sometimes if you want to get rid of the gun, you have to pick the gun up.
HUEY NEWTON You're supposed to get out of a wheelchair. They want you to get up and get around.
RICHARD BARRETT Afore me! It is so very late,
That we may call it early by and by.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE They don't have a say. If they don't want to get up, get out of here. We'll get somebody who will ge...
DERECK WHITTENBURG Have a goal. Know where you want to end up. Knowing where you want to end up is a lot easier than fi...
GARY COHN When you go into the first grade you have to get up early.
JACK REED The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX I wasn't going to have enough money to pay for a Good Lifestyle, which meant I'd feel ashamed, which...
NED VIZZINI Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems o...
PETER USTINOV Cheer up Freddie, when we get out of detention you can borrow my bike if you want,
JOHN SWAN With Robinson, you have to remember his son was in Vietnam. If you have children there you want to b...
CHRIS LAMB The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Mes poumons sont remplis de l'air pur
mon esprit est ouvert et libéré, la sérénité remplit tous...
JACOB MAHURIEN I get up every morning. I've got my pain, my irks, and you think you're in bad shape. You see some o...
CULLIE BRUMETT You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with sati...
GEORGE HORACE LORIMER If you want to leave, leave; if not, GET OUT!
ALAN CHADWICK "If you want to leave, leave; if not, GET OUT!"
ALAN CHADWICK If you want to catch beasts you don't see every day,
You have to go places quite out of the way...
DR. SEUSS To get the whole world out of bed
And washed, and dressed, and warmed, and fed,
To work, and b...
JOHN EDWARD MASEFIELD I genuinely believe that if you want to get in the film business, get in the film business.
DANIEL CRAIG No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get out of it.
GRACE SLICK You can have anything you want, if you go out and get it. If you claim it as your own. You have a ri...
DANIELLE STEEL We can play with anybody in the country. If you want to grind it out, we can grind it out. If you wa...
ANDRE ALLEN It’s the Olympics. If you can’t get up to swim early in the morning, don’t go.
MICHAEL PHELPS I want my kids to have a good work ethic. I believe you can achieve anything if you work hard enough...
VICTORIA BECKHAM How to get it, I annoy you???
You are not interested???
What's the idea???
DEYTH BANGER I don't want you to misunderstand me. You might get up and state what you believe to be Seventh-...
JOHN HARVEY KELLOGG According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL If you ever get an opportunity to go out to eat, you never get to get a table; you always have a par...
DIANE MEININGHAUS Dixon Steele: You know, when you first walked into the police station, I said to myself, “There sh...
DOROTHY B. HUGHES We're fighting for the wild card. We have to get in there and try to get their pitcher out of the ga...
LUIS CASTILLO You need me? You yell. You want to leave? We go. I'll get you out of here, no matter what.
RICHELLE MEAD You can lock a lion up in a room, if you want to, but you'll still hear it growling and clawing to g...
K. MARTIN BECKNER Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.
ANONYMOUS The way I see it: Why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?
-ERIC FOREMAN THAT 70'S SHOW We just really want to get the word out to individual to get tested, and secondly you have resources...
ANGELA CLARK I want the people I love to get up and speak about me, and even if you cry it'll be OK. I want you t...
JENNY DOWNHAM If you're just sucking eggs and it's not working out for you - then find something that makes you wa...
JERRY DOYLE I tell people, if you really want me to look that good, why don't you cough up about $2 million ...
DANIEL BALDWIN On his weight: "I tell people, if you really want me to look that good, why don't you cough up about...
DANIEL BALDWIN You will never get what you want if you believe that you are not worthy of having it. God doesn't cr...
SHANNON L. ALDER The best parenting advice I ever got was from a labor nurse who told me the following:
1....
JODI PICOULT O, the sheer magnificence of words that come together like waves upon a beach, each telling its own ...
JOHN M SHEEHAN You don't have to lie, cheat, trample or steal to get what you want out of life.
JEFFREY BENJAMIN Sometimes you have to give up something you are to get to who you want to be.
LEILA SALES I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX If you are reading this, you will get what you want. Believe in yourself and that's inspiration.
CHANDAN SHARMA If you can get out of it with one [run] scoring, you did a great job. You want to keep all three fro...
JOE NATHAN If your goals are blown out of proportion, you won't even want to get started.
DELMA SMITH You have to have a niche. You have to get things that people want to come out for.
HARVEY BLOMBERG Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in person.
RALPH BUNCHE If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in person
RALPH BUNCHE Unfortunately, I'm sure the word's going to get out that if you have a mobile quarterback you want t...
PAUL CARRINGTON When you are Spanish girl, you got to grow up in a convent if you want to get married.
CHARO You have to captivate and entertain if you want your message to get across.
VINCE STAPLES If you get the order to evacuate, please take us seriously. We do not want to have to rescue people ...
DAVE JOHNSON Of course, this is important to me. You always want to go out and perform. I can't treat it like it'...
BRUCE PERRY Unfortunately, if you don't want to be in the spotlight, get out of it.
LANCE BASS Hope is what makes you look outside the window to see if it's stopped raining. Hope is what makes yo...
JODI PICOULT When you're not feeling well, you don't want to wait around. You want to get in, get your medicine a...
KRISTI SCHULMEISTER Living is a risk,' I snapped at him. 'Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you ...
MARIA V. SNYDER If you don't get what you want, you want what you get
ASARE BEN CHRIS(ABC) If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen>
FOSTER "RAUL" MKHABELE Be who you want to be not what others think you should be.
BILAL SAIF I know they're saying get out of town, but I don't have any way to get out. If you don't have no mon...
HATTIE JOHNS I know they're saying 'Get out of town,' but I don't have any way to get out. If you don't have no m...
HATTIE JOHNS To get what you want, you have to know exactly how much you are willing to give up.
C.S. PACAT You don't get out of life what you want, you get what you expect.
NEIL SUTTON If you wake up deciding what you want to give versus what you're going to get, you become a more...
RUSSELL SIMMONS If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives.
DAVID RIESMAN If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when yo...
DAN MILLMAN Senior night can go one of two ways. It can either get your emotions stirred up early and you can co...
BILLY WALLER The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK You have to embark on your own quest to discover why you are on this planet, what makes you get out ...
DANNY SILK I get up really early, and I go to bed really late. Sometimes I get tired, but it's not importan...
MARTHA STEWART If you perceive the pregnancy early, then you don't get beat up too badly if you're wrong, and you m...
H. LANCE LESSMAN
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX