But she's wrong about hell. You don't have to wait until you're dead to get there.

I wonder if I'll ever have to decide which is worse, life as we're living or no life at all.

I live about 60 miles northwest of New York City, and whenever there's news of a big snowstorm coming, everyone runs for the store. The perishable items are usually the first things to go, which doesn't make sense because they perish.

People see what they want to see

I'm the one not caring. I'm the one pretending the Earth isn't shattering all around me because I don't want it to be. I don't want to know there was an earthquake in Missouri. I don't want to know the Midwest can die, also, that what's going on isn't just tides and tsunamis. I don't want to have any more to be afraid of.

I didn't start this diary for it to be a record of death.

The Christmas after Mom & Dad split up, they both went crazy buying us presents. Matt, Jonny, and I were showered with gifts at home and at Dads apartment. I thought that was great. I was all in favor of my love being paid for with presents.

This year all I got was a diary and a secondhand watch.

Okay, I know this is corny, but this really is what Christmas is all about.