But still, I kept thinking, if I'm still troubled by this, if I'm still carrying it around like a big rucksack full of bricks and my father's dead, I need someone to tell me how to get rid of this great weight. . . . The most awful thing was that it was kind of pleasant physically, you know. That's why nobody tells.

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

— Billy Connolly

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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

— Billy Connolly

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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

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Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

— Billy Connolly

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

— Billy Connolly

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