But that's always the way; it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no sense, and just goes for him anyway. . . . It takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides, and yet ain't no good . . .
Mark Twain
Related Well, Son, I tell you, life for me aint been no crystal stair. Its been hard and bare and rough p... LANGSTON HUGHES So aint you think just causen you in this car now means any damn thing. It aint. He pretending it do... STACIA KANE Societies need rules that make no sense for individuals. For example, it makes no difference whether... MARVIN MINSKY Name the fears that are holding you back. It's the equivalent of flooding the boogeyman with light. GINA GREENLEE There is no rule book, no right or wrong; you just have to make it up and do the very best you can t... KATE MIDDLETON No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong. FRANçOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong. FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD For nothing is more democratic than logic; it is no respecter of persons and makes no distinction be... FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES The tide of evolution carries everything before it, thoughts no less than bodies, and persons no les... GEORGE SANTAYANA No amount of good deeds can make us good persons. We must be good before we can do good. CHESTER A. PENNINGTON you fix what you can fix and you let the rest go. If there ain't nothin to be done about it it aint ... CORMAC MCCARTHY Be scared. You cant help that. But dont be afraid. Aint nothing in the woods going to hurt you unles... WILLIAM FAULKNER When it’s not meant to make you up, it’s meant to fake you up. Just say no and act right. Be bol... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR No two persons can learn something and experience it in the same way. SHANNON L. ALDER Life, its so great, but when we act like shit and do shit, then it aint. Why should we act like that... TUPAC SHAKUR And when a man that old takes up money-hunting, it's like when he takes up gambling or whisky or wom... WILLIAM FAULKNER It might be asked, 'How much time shall I allow myself for rest?' The answer is that no rule... GEORGE MULLER Somewhere out there is a true and living prophet of destruction and I dont want to confront him. I k... CORMAC MCCARTHY No suspects. No persons of interest. Just a girl who was alive one day and dead the next. CHARLIE DONLEA I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything el... OSCAR WILDE The trouble with people is not that they dont know but that they know so much that aint so. JOSH BILLINGS If the sentence makes no sense to those who make a good difference ,then the same thought is futile ... ANUJ SOMANY Looks like my baby dont live here no more...thats alright, ive still got my guitar..................... JIMI HENDRIX There shall be no end of love in persons’ heart and no end of tenacity in persons’ mind. HEENASHREE KHANDELWAL Always talk to the man about people in such a way that he might tell them everything whatever you sa... VIKRANT PARSAI you really think im happy what just because i smile haha thats a joke is the devil good just because... AMBER FAITH HUN If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter - - - for always there will be gr... SYLVIA PLATH If there is no principle involved (scriptually and/or secularly)—what difference does it make if y... WILLIE HAYNES A clear passion, a resolute determination, a can-do spirit; these are the rods for creating a great ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR The greater intellect one has, the more originality one finds in men. Ordinary persons find no diffe... BLAISE PASCAL This place aint the same. It never will be. Maybe we've all got a little crazy. I guess if everbody ... CORMAC MCCARTHY Dont expect expected things by unexpectable persons,it will just hurt. SHUBHAM CHAVAN But happiness is no respecter of persons. STEPHEN FRY It takes, unhappily, no more than a desk and writing supplies to turn any room into a confessional. THOMAS PYNCHON Suspicion is far more to be wrong than right; more often unjust than just. It is no friend to virtu... HOSEA BALLOU Suspicion is far more to be wrong than right; more often unjust than just. It is no friend to virtue... HOSEA BALLOU If 9 out of every 10 persons refused to help you in your time of need,it just shows that the right t... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough rel... ANDREW BOYD I think sometimes there is no right thing. ROSAMUND HODGE A mob is a group of persons with heads but no brains THOMAS FULLER No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it c... MO ROCCA I seen it over an' over—a guy talkin' to another guy and it don't make no difference if he don't h... JOHN STEINBECK In the United States, where we have more land than people, it is not at all difficult for persons in... P. T. BARNUM Being persons, then, women are citizens; and no state has a right to make any new law, or to enforce... SUSAN B. ANTHONY Each persons life has its share of successes and failures. Just keep in mind that you will experienc... DANIEL TUCKER A beam or pillar can be used to batter down a city wall, but it is no good for stopping up a little ... ZHUANGZI A friend is someone who will tell you it will be all right, pretend to be happy just to cheer you up... OMAR ASHRAF EZZELDIN There’s no way that Michael Jackson or whoever Jackson should have a million thousand droople bill... TUPAC SHAKUR It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. STEVEN WRIGHT Me and my clique got class, school you a quick minute, and we aint never finished till ignorance is ... DEDRICK D. L. PITTER He does it all the time. It makes no difference to him. It's just another game, only this one means ... OLLIE GOULSTON For there is no respect of persons with God. BIBLE Institutions, no less than persons, may need to be socialized. THOMAS SZASZ Science attempts to analyze how things and people and animals behave; it has no concern whether this... WARREN WEAVER Always do your best, no more, no less...doing your best leaves no room left for regret, worry or dou... WILLIAM PAISLEY I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the w... JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER Total commitment," I said. "You know, the idea of discovering something that, for all intents and pu... SARAH DESSEN A mob is a group of persons with heads but no brains. Thomas Fuller. THOMAS FULLER Whether you sweep the toilet of a school or you make cloths. Whether you take pictures of dancers or... EMI IYALLA I choose bold. I choose action. I choose what's right for the people. I choose to make a differe... BILL RICHARDSON Life is good, and there's no reason to think it won't be--right up until the moment when everything ... MICHAEL J. FOX Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' a... JOHN STEINBECK It couldn't have been that different than what Arapahoe Basin has been dealing with for 30 years or ... KNOX WILLIAMS Should I be better than you if I make a little bit more money? No. Unfortunately, you know, some peo... WOODY AUSTIN Everybody has to take responsibility for what happens to them and no one has more wiggle room than a... HART SEELY Do your work; not just your work and no more, but a little more for the lavishing's sake -- that lit... DEAN BRIGGS Do your work; not just your work and no more, but a little more for the lavishing's sake - that litt... DEAN BRIGGS Let no man deceive you with vain words or vain hopes or false notions of a slight and sudden repenta... JOHN TILLOTSON Listen, Christ,You did alright in your day, I reckonBut that days gone now. They ghosted you up a sw... LANGSTON HUGHES I will attempt no historical or theological classification of [George] Macdonald's thought, partly b... C. S. LEWIS You know, it don't make no sense how the people, you know, come out here shooting...and a stray bull... DEBORAH JONES But a knife ain't just a thing, is it? It's a choice, it's something you do . A knife says yes... PATRICK NESS Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep try... COLONEL POTTER It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad JIMMY BUFFET It was good that she remembered him, though it was exhausting to do so. No rest for the weary. ... RYAN GRAUDIN He who thinks and thinks for himself, will always have a claim to thanks; it is no matter whether it... JEREMY BENTHAM Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable ill... BARACK OBAMA Desire to always be on the right way no matter how tough it gets. A very slow movement on the right ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR I used to make original snowmen, but it was time consuming, hard work. So I said, heck, this is craz... BILL WATTERSON The use of mind is more often than heart in many persons' life. Thats the problem they face often an... ANUJ SOMANY There are no right and wrong ways to work in this business, but there are some basic common-sense pr... JIMMY SMITS The people have a right supreme To make their kings, for Kings are made for them. All Empire i... JOHN DRYDEN Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. BLAISE PASCAL It's not about making the right choice. It's about making a choice and making it right. J.R. RIM It's not about making the right choice. It's about making a choice and making it right. J.R. RIM Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li... DICK VAN DYKE Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who posse... HENRY WARD BEECHER Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who posse... HENRY WARD BEECHER Conscience has no more to do with gallantry than it has with politics. RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Conscience has no more to do with gallantry than it has with politics RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Drop down someone else's shoe and run to take your own quickly. Don't hire your own to anybody, else... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR And it was most important to do what one knew was right, for otherwise the day might come when one c... ANNE HOLM No, it's a Bb. It looks wrong and it sounds wrong, but it's right. RALPH VAUGHAN WILLIAMS Elvis 30 No. 1 Hits NO DOUBT It must be an odd person indeed that can say for certain they are normal. INITIALLY NO Take this drink as a token of my disrepute and spin that hay tonight and tomorrow it will be sh... INITIALLY NO Take this drink as a token of my disrepute and spin that hay tonight and tomorrow it will be shining... INITIALLY NO It's nice to finish with a great shot like that. It was a nice way to finish up. It looked pretty go... DONALD NO I was struggling on the greens (early on the back nine) and had lost a little bit of confidence and ... DONALD NO
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN