But then I thought it was because she was in rehab.

I've been expecting it. Whether you expect it or not, it still hits.

She had done that once before, and she did great when she got out of there.

She called me all the time. She just called to talk. She never missed calling me for any occasion. We were very close.

I can't believe it even happened.

We were that generation called ''silent,'' but we were silent neither, as some thought, because we shared the period's official optimism nor, as others thought, because we feared its official repression. We were silent because the exhilaration of social action seemed to many of us just one more way of escaping the personal, of masking for a while that dread of the meaningless which was man's fate.