Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Ambrose Bierce
Related
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE It should not be surprised by seeing in our weird world that the people for enjoying own bread can a...
ANUJ SOMANY Everyone out there is using you for their entertainment and what you mostly need is to be entertainm...
SUPERNA BATHEJA Only fools wait, and only tools bait.
CRE There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those ...
MAUREEN JOHNSON A man is as wise as his head, not his years.
TURKISH PROVERB Would you want you as a friend?
PETER STROPLE No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT I travel the garden of music, thru inspiration. It's a large, very large garden, seen?
PETER TOSH This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS Feast of Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, Teacher, 397 To the good man to die is gain. The foolish fea...
ST. AMBROSE 'The Devil's Dictionary' reads like a collection of great Twitter posts. And as people d...
VICTOR LAVALLE In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thought...
ABRAM L. URBAN At lunchtime, our kitchen was like a mini restaurant: my grandmother and mother had to cook for as m...
JEAN-GEORGES VONGERICHTEN History is replete with blunders written by sycophants.
TOMICHAN MATHEIKAL While some consider God's standards as too confining, a true believer sees them as loving and freein...
CRAIG GROESCHEL I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that's about as much cooking as I do.
BETTY WHITE I thought I'd love to be a gardener because I grew up with a vegetable garden and I love being c...
CURTIS STONE People remember the different variations of stuffed cabbage based on their mothers and grandmothers....
GIL MARKS There is nothing far-fetched about disappointment as a subject for comedy. It's something we are...
MARTIN FREEMAN A man who is wise is only as wise as his wife thinks he is.
VIKRANT PARSAI I alternate between thinking of the planet as home - dear and familiar stone hearth and garden - and...
ANNIE DILLARD Wherever I go, as long as I get a hot vegetable dish, I am okay. If I am in Gujarat, I have Gujarati...
A. P. J. ABDUL KALAM ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE My mother's kitchen was built to be the focal point of our house. I got into the kitchen often a...
GAIL SIMMONS I was put off by people at school - my cabbage wasn't as good as other people's, you know, s...
ROGER MCGOUGH Death is not scary enough and not so sweet life of the human foot leaves gentility.
IMAM ALI (AS) Each of us is like seed, planted by the Good Gardener so we might grow into something majestic.
SETH ADAM SMITH A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.
UNKNOWN A wise man understands, an intelligent man knows, but a fool pretends to know.
DEBASISH MRIDHA So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf, to make an apple-pie; and at the same time a grea...
SAMUEL FOOTE I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.
ETHEL MERMAN It's hard to make something as large as a government change. It's a little bit like building...
TIM O'REILLY A wise man's question contains half the answer.
SOLOMON IBN GABIROL Old Cabbage Head was used at the Manatee Create Co., which was located only about a quarter-mile fro...
JAY DUKE And so upon this wise I prayed,--
Great Spirit, give to me
A heaven not so large as yours
...
EMILY DICKINSON Love, what you DO,
Respect, who DOES for you,
Appreciate, who DOES for others,
Salute, who DOES for ...
PRITISH PATTANAIK If a man is as wise as a serpent, he can afford to be as harmless as a dove.
AMERICAN INDIAN PROVERB I support Alice Waters in her desire that there be a vegetable garden at the White House. I don'...
MARTHA STEWART There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool.
DIOGENES The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to ...
E. W. HOWE The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to ...
EDGAR WATSON HOWE One day a small monkey was always getting ignored by the other monkeys ,so to get attention he said ...
GARY F EVANS... In the end, my story, in Iraq and afterward, is about more than just killing people or even fighting...
CHRIS KYLE As far as I'm concerned, I want to remain the mean little man I always was.
JACK LEVINE There is such a very large quantity of books clamouring for a buyer's attention that publishers ...
SONNY MEHTA Only the man who thinks himself a fool is as wise as he thinks.
CRISS JAMI A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.
LORD CHESTERFIELD I had a ton of animals; I had a goat growing up, a bunch of rabbits, a vegetable garden.
KELLI WILLIAMS As a female pilot, the sacred rose garden in my heart is the motherland's blue sky.
LIU YANG And if you can’t shape your life the way you want, at least try as much as you can not to degrade ...
CONSTANTINOS P. CAVAFIS I don't think a female running a house is a problem, a broken family. It's perceived as one ...
TONI MORRISON Sotomayor's vainglorious lecture bromide about herself as 'a wise Latina' trumping white...
CAMILLE PAGLIA A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his...
HELEN ROWLAND I am Mother Nature. All of creation bows before me. When people leave their cities and learn of me�...
SETH ADAM SMITH As a writer, I have to admit, there is something darkly compelling about Alzheimer's because it ...
CHARLIE PIERCE A great man even when dead,his name will continue to elicit greatness for generations to come.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The light of a great man shines for generations to come.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Who is a great man? A great man is a person whom people are dying to write books about.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The wise boldly pick up a truth as soon as they hear it. Don't wait or a moment, or you'll lose your...
HSUEH-DOU The wise boldly pick up a truth as soon as they hear it. Don't wait or a moment, or you'll lose you...
HSUEH-DOU One day, the people who work in my kitchen stir-fried chopped Napa cabbage to serve with some meat o...
NOBU MATSUHISA Every large kitchen has a standard steamer.
TRES MALEY I don't know what it is about 'Godzilla,' but as far as I'm concerned, the more vers...
RHYS DARBY That's a large part of the job as governor: to create and maintain the optimal balance.
GARY HERBERT It's fun to think about plants not just as decorations but as functioning parts of our yard'...
KATHERINE CENTER The show hasn't suffered at all. The music is as large as ever. It's still about a young man who's n...
DENNIS TURNER A child plays so as an old man he can be wise
JOEY NOVICK Design is about point of view, and there should be some sort of woman or lifestyle or attitude in on...
VERA WANG If I were to reduce all my feelings and their painful conflicts to a single name, I can think of no ...
HERMANN HESSE Thus have I, Wall, my part discharged so;
And, being done, thus Wall away doth go.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
JONATHAN SWIFT As a human being, I'm concerned about the world that I live in. So, I'm concerned about peac...
HERBIE HANCOCK As a hockey player, playing for an Original Six team at Madison Square Garden, where it's packed...
CARL HAGELIN Ah, yet, e'er I descend to th' grave,
May I a small House and a large Garden have.
And a few F...
ABRAHAM COWLEY As far as we are concerned, we Syria have not changed.
BASHAR AL-ASSAD As far as the style, I was fascinated by surrealism.
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH As far as I know, I have no pride of opinion.
ALBERT J. NOCK Nothing trumps honesty, as far as I'm concerned.
DAVID KOECHNER A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN I think of New York as a puree and the rest of the United States as vegetable soup.
SPALDING GRAY And that because the moving parts are a million times smaller than the ones we're familiar with,...
K. ERIC DREXLER We treat human biology as our center point. Everyone already has a head-mounted display. It's yo...
RONY ABOVITZ There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress.
JOSEPH ADDISON This garden is your life. Of course, there are the occasional weeds—but more than anything, this g...
SETH ADAM SMITH There is no such thing as national advertising. All advertising is local and personal. It's one ...
MORRIS HITE There are places on a man's head that are as hard as a rock. Your head's actually stronger t...
JOE FRAZIER In peace, as a wise man, he should make suitable preparation for war.
HORACE When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the ...
CALVIN TRILLIN It is still more likely that a woman's power would be seen as aggression, and a man's power ...
JESSYE NORMAN Plot-wise, there's nothing particularly groundbreaking about 'Scalped.' It starts off as...
JASON AARON It's just a number. In many respects, I feel as good as I have in a long time. I had as good a winte...
TOM GLAVINE Women's books are kind of discriminated against. If a man writes a book about his family stories...
ERICA JONG To write well, express yourself like common people, but think like a wise man. Or, think as wise men...
ARISTOTLE It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Ren...
SALLY MANN 'How do you know so much about everything?' was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; an...
JOHN ABBOTT
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AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE