Caleb,' I say. 'I love you.

I think we cry to release the animal parts of us without losing our humanity. Because
inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom, toward Tobias, and, above
all, toward life. And as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.

I am afraid that if I start to sob, I will never stop until I shrivel up like a raisin.

But when I do feel all the strength go out of me, and I fall to my knees beside the table and I think I cry, then, or at least I want to, and everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.

I feel the monster of grief again, writhing in the empty space where my heart and stomach used to be. I gasp, pressing both palms to my chest. Now the monstrous thing has its claws around my throat, squeezing my airway. I twist and put my head between my knees, breathing until the strangled feeling leaves me.

You've got to look out for number one. If you're really worried about not being spoiled, just pound on through that book guys. Just read the shit out of it.