Celebrity Retrieval? I've never heard of them."

"They're a kind of private Blackwater.

My kid, her life. I want for her what she wants for herself.

Life is about the decisions we make to live passionately or passively.

Where's your passion?

I'll take my chances. It has you."
And when a great man says something smart like that a smart woman just shuts up.

I don't consider myself a celebrity, and I don't consider myself a star.

It would be easier if they named jeans for celebrities so you'd know exactly what you were getting without even having to try them on. 'Mary-Kate' for itty-bitty jeans that come with a cartoonishly oversized caramel latte cup; 'Angelina Jolie' for jeans that are sold with two tiny Cambodian orphans stitched right into the back pockets; 'Katie Holmes', jeans which spell out 'help me!' in the fabric if you look very closesly; and 'Dina Lohan', self-promoting stage mom of Lindsay, for jeans that look OK from a distance, but when you get closer, are actually transparent.

For men, there could be 'David Hasselhoff' jeans, made entirely of cheese, and 'John Mayer' jeans which, when removed, become instantly bored and walk themselves to to the house of next 'it' girl in Hollywood.