Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard

There are a number of different reasons why. The main one is that Chinese telecommunications companies don't have enough bandwidth to interact with the outside world.

One important thing I recall about India was that it was quiet. It was never noisy in the way that life was noisy in London.

We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating.

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

I can't stand being late. I try to be professional. I try not to let people down. But people let me down. That's why I don't rely on anyone to call me. That's why I have clocks as well as people. I have to be able to call myself; it's the only way to be sure.