Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.

I was not the popular kid in school.

I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.

Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.