Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.


Melissa McCarthy

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I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES
Expect some bumps and bruises when your trying to be independent.
MICHAEL BARBARULO
We're talking associated bumps and bruises and sprains. The children were all conscious and alert. M...
BUCKY BURNSED
The only way physical comedy works is if you don't see it coming. And the harder the fall, the f...
CHRIS PRATT
I'm OK. This time of year everyone has some bumps and bruises.
DONNIE AMENT
For me, Kate McKinnon can do no wrong. She is an absolute genius. She's a hero of mine. Melissa ...
LAURA BENANTI
You have to expect to get a few bumps and bruises along the way in this game.
MARK YODER
Because Melissa McCarthy actually is a fat woman, she isn't allowed to make brash statements abo...
JENNIFER ARMINTROUT
Beyond various bumps and bruises, lacerations and a few broken bones, we're going to be in miraculou...
LARRY GUILLORY
It was a crazy day. You expect bumps and bruises, but this got a little crazy.
GAYLA BILLINGSLEY
It was a great boost in the arm for us. There were some people who had some bumps and bruises for us...
WES OVERTON
A '97 Blazer. It has more dings. ... The windshield wipers don't work. I have more bumps and bruises...
DEANGELO WILLIAMS
You can get hit pretty hard. You get a lot of bumps and bruises, a couple of busted lips.
MARLON KING
I do think we have to understand that the team's going to come in rested, no bumps and bruises, and ...
JOE PATERNO
It will be good to have some time off. We played three games in five days and we have a few bumps an...
BOB EMERY
Every game there is something that goes a little wrong, ... Right now we are taking our bumps and br...
CHANNING FRYE
I've got a couple of bumps and bruises, ... But other than that, I feel good. Winning takes a lot of...
JULIUS JONES
Over the last couple of games it's been real physical. We have games back really quickly and sometim...
TYLER HANSBROUGH
I think there are some bumps and bruises out there tonight. Both teams played really hard, and you l...
BRIAN LUNDSTROM
We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and faken...
LOUIS C. K.
We've got a lot of bumps and bruises in the lineup. I've got to have the mentality to hold up my end...
CAM WARD
Fat bodies are used comically. I respect Rebel Wilson so much, and Melissa McCarthy. I love them bot...
MARY LAMBERT
I think at this stage of the game, we've got some bumps and bruises and may work him into a game or ...
BOB MCNAMARA
In school, I was playing old men and women, babies, Russian people, and all sorts of weird parts - a...
TAYLOR SCHILLING
My dad has kind of been the standard for me, he played 16 years in the league, and since I've be...
STEPHEN CURRY
A couple of my teammates have gotten through injury-free, maybe with just a few bumps and bruises. W...
JANA LINDSEY
We all have a natural instinct to protect children from harm. It's never fun to see a child hurt...
DARELL HAMMOND
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large ego must be in wan...
MELISSA NATHAN
There are plus-size women who've paved the way - Rebel Wilson, Gabby Sidibe, Melissa McCarthy. I...
CHRISSY METZ
Coaches were there to watch Melissa, and they saw me, too.
BECCA BRUSZEWSKI
'Tammy,' the new movie starring, produced, and co-written by Melissa McCarthy, could be an a...
RICHARD CORLISS
I had a great career in Australia, so it was a hard decision to move to America. But in 2010, I was ...
REBEL WILSON
You've got to understand we've got some bumps and bruises in the lineup. I've been telling people I'...
CAM WARD
Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me....
MELISSA LEMON
Life is all about rides. This is something I've always wanted. There have been hard bumps in the roa...
DANIEL FELLS
I have OCD and, literally, walking on the left, needing things to be in even numbers with few except...
ADAM SILVERA
When I was born, my father named me Melissa, and I am still Melissa, but I got the nickname Lizzo ar...
LIZZO
It gives me goose bumps and little butterflies in the stomach when I start thinking about the 'g...
NOVAK DJOKOVIC
In doing the screenplay for 'Good Night, and Good Luck,' the most important thing for me was...
GEORGE CLOONEY
Sun shines on my back as I walk away
Sun shines on my chest and I return
The fall air is c...
BRENT M. JONES
Everyone is weird and not weird all at once.
SHANA ODEN
The buzz is still with me. I get goose bumps.
DAVID BECKHAM
They taught me different was wrong.
ANI DIFRANCO
To stand on the
brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli...
ASK AND IT IS GIVEN
My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird.
STEPHANIE PERKINS
A comedy isn’t about being funny...a comedy is about characters who dare to know that they may cho...
GARY D. SCHMIDT
I'm satisfied and proud of the things I did - even the bumps and the bruises that I've had o...
GUCCI MANE
It's all about the GOP comedy.
JAMIE MASADA
Tattoos made my skin more 'me.' -Melissa Maxwell
LARRY SMITH
A friend once asked me what comedy was. That floored me. What is comedy? I don't know. Does anyb...
STAN LAUREL
Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it...
BRUCE MCCULLOCH
Almost every comedy you see is about people making all wrong choices and making all the errors of ju...
COLIN FIRTH
The track is technical and quick, with enough bumps and high rumbles to keep your attention througho...
MARK PATTERSON
If you really loved her, you'd kiss her tears and bumps and bruises the same way you kiss her lips. ...
JULIE ANN WALKER
'Monkey Island 2' was a huge game for me. It kind of taught me all about comedy.
BRYAN LEE O'MALLEY
Don't belive what others tell you. You belive in what you belive; there is nothing better.
LYNDA HERNANDEZ
The soul that is within me no man can degrade.
FREDERICK DOUGLAS
I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people.
KEANU REEVES
Seek always for the answer within. Be not influenced by those around you, by their thoughts or their...
EILEEN CADDY
If thou canst walk on water, thou art no better than a straw. If thou canst fly in the air, thou art...
ANSARI
No more duty can be urged upon those who are entering the great theater of life than simple loyalty ...
EDWIN HUBBEL CHAPIN
Where talent is a dwarf, self-esteem is a giant. - Conceits and Caprices.
J. PETIT-SENN
You can say that you dont care what anyone thinks about you, but in the end, its all that really mat...
TIFFANY GARLAND
Because of what you have done the heavens have become a part of man's world. And as you talk to us f...
RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON
I have never been contained except I made the prison.
MARY EVANS
It gave me goose bumps.
CHAD CORDERO
It is a very thrilling film. It gave me the goose bumps.
AMY ETTINGER
Their every instinct - and I have to say this is without exception - is to iron out the bumps, and I...
ADRIAN LYNE
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've got a few bumps and bruises, but I'm confident that with treatment and a little bit of rest, I'...
KIRK HINRICH
Horror is like comedy. Woody Allen's comedy is going to be very different from Ben Stiller's...
ELI ROTH
[Cutler didn't want to leave his teammates behind as it turned out. He was one of several seniors wh...
JAY CUTLER
When I was in my 20s, I thought I knew who I was. And then as soon as I turned 30, I realized that p...
SAM WORTHINGTON
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures�...
ROBIN WILLIAMS
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
ROBIN WILLIAMS
The best comedy to me - and again, I grew up with comedy since I was a baby, so I've seen it all...
PAULY SHORE
I didn't want to do comedy again. It is way harder when you are doing comedy. You can't just...
PATRICIA RICHARDSON
Not," Swift said firmly, "for all the tea in China."
"That expression has never made sense to m...
LISA KLEYPAS
Ooh, ... you just gave me goose bumps.
KOBE BRYANT
The Biggest Threat to our Democracy, Freedoms and Future is Leadership that fosters and Appeases the...
MICHAEL HARRIS
Whether you're a Sheryl Crow fan or Melissa Etheridge fan, or you're just concerned about the welfar...
LEROY SHAFER
You're getting your weird all over me.
MAGGIE STIEFVATER
37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married.
JAMES C. DOBSON
All through college, I was searching for characters that would make me unique and set me apart from ...
JEFF DUNHAM
It feels a little weird without Michelle. Just me and all these little girls.
SASHA COHEN
Then that's what the Northern Lights are. All the lives that we're not living.
ADI ALSAID
Administrator McCarthy and the EPA will soon find out that Washington bureaucrats are becoming far t...
SAM GRAVES
Women comedy is different than men comedy. Guy comedy is very aggressive, it's about insulting e...
PAUL FEIG
The last thing I want is to walk into my house after a long day and see all the Grammys and awards. ...
ALICIA KEYS
I've got goose bumps. Elliott, you move me.
PAULA ABDUL
I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing a...
PAUL MCCARTNEY
I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing an...
PAUL MCCARTNEY
It was kind of weird because eventually they were all so busy hating each other, they forgot about h...
JENNIFER BROWN
And the sad truth is that nobody wants me to write comedy. The Exorcist not only ended that career, ...
WILLIAM PETER BLATTY
We're going to be fine without Ryan McCarthy. You don't replace Ryan McCarthy player for player. You...
WES LAI
To me, comedy is a game.
DEMETRI MARTIN
Melissa is a very versatile player. She has a great game sense and a great defensive presence on the...
JENNIFER AVERILL
For me, comedy is richer and larger than anything else.
UPAMANYU CHATTERJEE

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I just think that wigs and makeup and costumes completely transform me.
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Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she's like, &#...
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Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size 6 and I never had to give it a single thought.
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I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I&#...
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I don't really know why I'm not thinner than I am.
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I'm not a crazy germophobe; I have kids, and that ship has sailed.
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Love is never wrong.
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There is no fear when you choose love. The more you choose love, the more love is in your life. It g...
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I'm for gay marriage, because I'm for gay divorce.
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I don't have a bucket list because it is my dedication to live every day of my life there. I don...
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Many of our constituents have one option for cable TV and one price. Our constituents desire choice.
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In fact, 80 percent of our domestic job growth comes from the small- and medium-sized business commu...
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I am excited to rise today to support National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day. This celebration hon...
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As a member of the House Committee on Small Business and because of my own experience as a small bus...
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We must take down the carnies. I think we need to start a campaign to defeat their scamming ways. I ...
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During a trip to Iraq last fall, I visited our theater hospital at Balad Air Force Base and witnesse...
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Once I overcame breast cancer, I wasn't afraid of anything anymore.
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His face was pale, and he dropped to the floor so that he was half kneeling, half sitting before her...
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He pulled something out of his pocket and tried to stick it in her arm. A needle. He'd offered her h...
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His blue-black hair fell over his face when he moved, like tiny arrows pointing to pronounced cheeck...
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She stood in his kitchen, watching him toy with the ring in his lip. It wasn't quite that he was bit...
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As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of people in this world: people like Queeg who, when li...
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Every time you shudder from the cold or wrap yourself more tightly in your furs, it reminds me that ...
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She had no idea what the future would hold for any of them, beyond possibilities as infinite as the ...
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Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.
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The songs are inspired by my experiences. Sometimes they are more than my real-life and, conversely,...
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Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.
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My mother, whom I love dearly, has continually revised my life story within the context of a complic...
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On the road, as a 'rock star,' there's superficial attention and adulation is thrown at ...
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An actor has to be very, very careful, as one of the most wonderful props - and actors love props - ...
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Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. No...
MELISSA BEAN
If you start writing to an audience you're talking down to them. I've never written for any ...
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I've started a company, called Tall Girl Productions, and we've got our first project that i...
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I stand before you a totally healthy person.
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Social security, bank account, and credit card numbers aren't just data. In the wrong hands they...
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But in this Congress, accountability is just a catch phrase, usually directed elsewhere. Demands to ...
MELISSA BEAN
Well, I don't think of myself as a feminist at all. As soon as we start labeling and categorizin...
MELISSA LEO
...she wasn't reading Deathly Hallows at all. Her book wasn't orange but rose and water and sand, an...
MELISSA ANELLI
Chemotherapy tests your sanity.
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I have a very optimistic view of my future right now. I'm very excited to see where it goes, but...
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Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way. Be unique. Be what you feel.
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Fate is a funny character. She puts obstacles in your path to see what character ye have. Life isn't...
MELISSA FRANCIS
Bill walked slowly to Cara's dressed and leaned on the edge, folding his arms as the pine creaked un...
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I modeled a little bit in Georgia growing up. I did catalogs and different things, but then when I c...
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TV is the place for writers to live. This is where you have creative control and you're constant...
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Every day, I just thank the universe that I am as lucky as I am. Because, I went through periods of ...
MELISSA BENOIST
I love an arcade. I love a boardwalk game. But I also love a rollercoaster. Though I think the rolle...
MELISSA RAUCH
All the time, you're going into your modeling agency and they're taking Polaroids of you in ...
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I go to movies with my children and see fat kids burping, parents portrayed as total morons, and kid...
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Talking won't change it. But sometimes it was what she wanted most, to tell someone; often, though, ...
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Identity theft is one of the fastest-growing crimes in the nation - especially in the suburbs.
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Christmas comes during a season when the Earth is in its darkest time. It's a holiday for the fa...
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The girl's arms jutted out at awkward angles, not quite hands on the hips belligerent but not relaxe...
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Ironing is a great diversion from the reality you don't want to face.
MELISSA MCBRIDE
Finders keepers. Asshole.
MELISSA GREY
There will always be someone else with a different view than you. I appreciate them and would never ...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
There's been so many different types of musicals, and it's a funny genre because there's...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
With 'Darkly Dreaming Dexter,' we as a group of writers had to take a rather thin novel and ...
MELISSA ROSENBERG
With 'Twilight,' you have these massive tomes that you have to condense. With 'Penoza,&#...
MELISSA ROSENBERG
In the morning of the night ~~ When I woke to find you gone ~~ I knew your distant devil ~~Must be d...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
Humans make art to remember and be remembered,” said Caius. “Art is their weapon against forgett...
MELISSA GREY
Mothers tell your children 'Be quick, you must be strong. Life is full of wonder and love is never w...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's so funny an...
MELISSA ROSENBERG
Mr. Speaker, democracy works best when the American electorate is engaged and informed.
MELISSA BEAN
Ideally a woman should not have a career unless it is necessary for the financial stability of the m...
MELISSA SADOFF
Retention is back. It is not unheard of for hands-on tech candidates to get offers of $10,000 to $15...
MELISSA MAFFETTONE
Under the Environmental Protection Agency's Energy Star Program, homes are independently verifie...
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Chase away sorrow by living
MELISSA MARR
Will you be my forever, Donia?
MELISSA MARR
Catch me, Seth," she invited.
He paused.
"Faeries chase," he said, an then , with a flirta...
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I've worked since I was 11 years old, playing music and following the dream, and shaking and mov...
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Cancer's like the ultimate excuse. Who's gonna say, 'Oh, no, you have to show up for thi...
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The American people expect more from Congress. They expect fiscal responsibility and common sense. T...
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As part of my efforts to fight identity theft, I worked with my colleagues on the Financial Services...
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It doesn't matter if you're the smartest person in the room: If you're not someone who p...
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Thank God I have four sons. The mother/daughter relationship is one of mankind's great mysteries...
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This commercial is basically soft-core porn, ... The way she moves, the way she puts her finger in h...
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I love to dance; it's one of my favorite things to do.
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Until a couple years ago, the FCC was sort of asleep at the wheel when it comes to indecency enforce...
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Attorney General Madigan is concerned that oil companies can make billions in profits and not provid...
MELISSA MERZ
We have received a complaint. We're reviewing the issue at hand.
MELISSA MERZ
We have received a complaint.
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Attorney General Madigan believes the Sexually Violent Persons Act is a critical tool in keeping sex...
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This program ... seeks to make sure that people who are a danger to the community are not on the str...
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If he's deemed dangerous ..., he could be kept there for the remainder of his life. The psychiatrist...
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We expect to receive the referral from Auditor General Holland and will look closely at it and addre...
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So what 'Twilight' does is show how women/girls can drive box office and they can support a ...
MELISSA ROSENBERG
I'm very fortunate that I have a wonderful family around me and loved ones.
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
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Mum and dad thought I was going to say I was pregnant. I said oh no, no, I've just been nominate...
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People ask me, 'Is being a parent the be-all, end-all?' And I say, 'Oh, it definitely is...
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If there's a harbour, I probably end up living there.
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Humor graces our spirit, and deadly, inappropriate seriousness makes us tiresome sourpusses.
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Bipolar disorder is treated with medication, and we're gaining a lot of knowledge in this area. The ...
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I am the parent of teenagers, my daughters are 13 and 15, so the issue of Internet safety has been a...
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We are not commenting on the specifics of evidence because it is an ongoing investigation.
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In 'Twilight,' you're setting up the world. You're introducing the world, and I was ...
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You cannot force me to make my wishes now" She squared her shoulders and looked at him. "I've read t...
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He looked good, like sin in a suit.
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I have some close friends I keep in touch with. I knit. I watch a little too much TV. I ski, if the ...
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There were not enough women like Kay on TV and now there are none.
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I love all the holidays and getting to see my family a lot during the fall. I also love the weather ...
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I think one of the major differences between Wonder Woman and Jessica Jones is that Wonder Woman is ...
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Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.
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For every Wal-Mart store opening, we have a number of grants that our stores give to their local nei...
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We've been looking to develop (inland) paddling trails, and this one just came together perfectly.
MELISSA PARKER
I find Jessica Jones a much more interesting character to write for than Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman ...
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The idea actually started from two women in France in order to celebrate a French author on April Fo...
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In seven days, it went from a dime-size blister to half a softball on the side of her face.
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The congressman is from the Capital region and has been known on occasion to venture outside of his ...
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The first one on the jaw we call 'Brutus' because he's the big mean guy, and then she has a sugar-cu...
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There's a certain mythology that prevails in Hollywood that kids are only interested in risky or edg...
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I have two little children. I didn't want to be missing their childhood while I was away, busy w...
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I can be a rock star with a television show and still have a self-esteem problem. So it's nice t...
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I haven't had a lot of experience with glamour. I've never had to mask myself, as many now n...
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Keenan was staring at her, too intently for comfort. "I don't know why certain people shine for othe...
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Life happens, and I write about it wherever I am.
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Through all of this lovely interviewing, and nice things people say, and the rest of it, I have lear...
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There are many plant medicines that are available to us that have a lot of stigma around them that I...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
It's okay. You're going to save me, Miss Maylene." The girl gave her a genuine look of happiness. "I...
MELISSA MARR
I'm still yours, though. That won't ever change, Shadow Girl.
MELISSA MARR
In many cases, advisers may be a student's lifeline.
MELISSA OSTRANDER
It just grew and grew.
MELISSA CAMPBELL
We're going to scour through this document word for word, and we're going to check it against declar...
MELISSA FLEMING
I would say the benefits are not just in the classroom, but in life. The number one benefit is worki...
MELISSA HANCOCK
The interviews have been a little tough due to the fact that we're interviewing dogs. We see a l...
MELISSA RIVERS
I'm just happy that I'm skating really good. Sometimes when you're not feeling good, you concentrate...
MELISSA GREGORY
Someone has to be awake with him at all times.
MELISSA MARSH
When the heart beats with true purpose, it needs no other reason to breathe.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
The human heart is strong enough to withstand an unwarranted assault, and brave enough to smile at t...
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
Self-pity is the real fool's gold.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
To let fear rule your life, is to let the enemy of humanity win.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
When life tries to get you down, you just start walking a little faster.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
Laugh, and the world will join in; cry and whine, and that same world will tell you to shut the hell...
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
Goodness is in the eye of the beholder, and the heart of the believer.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
I'm not full on 'Jersey Shore' Jersey, but in my heart, my bangs are so feathered with t...
MELISSA RAUCH
It's actually mortifying that two doors down, to think that something like that could have happened ...
MELISSA LOPEZ
Neither the cat nor I missed you while you were gone. It's worse than that. We danced the visitor-go...
MELISSA CHECKER
I don't even go there,
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
Reading about myself on 'Perez Hilton' was kind of the weirdest thing ever.
MELISSA BENOIST
For them, it's unexpected territory and it's nice to have that guide.
MELISSA JACOBSON
It still hasn't been horrible. We should be okay, only two hours left 'til the eye and then we're go...
MELISSA COOK
I am involved with 'Write Girl,' which is such a great organization, because they go into in...
MELISSA ROSENBERG
The only thing I really hadn't done was throwing and distance. I really kind of dreaded the distance...
MELISSA TALBOT
We kissed for two hours. Eventually, I led him into my bedroom and pulled off both of our shirts. He...
MELISSA FEBOS
The railroads have worked to boost supplies, but we are still not getting the (Powder River Basin) d...
MELISSA MCHENRY
sometimes no matter how many eyelashes or dandelion seeds you blow, no matter how much of your heart...
MELISSA JENSEN
I feel my heart break to see a nation ripped apart by it's own greatest strength - it's dive...
MELISSA ETHERIDGE
Humility is the art of appreciating the people in your life, who forgive you your flaws.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
Friendship is the result of two spirits seeing the full truth of each other.
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
In the guest star situation on a show, it has a feel of a foreign exchange student - you're worr...
MELISSA RAUCH
There could be a room full of toys and all he wants is the candles.
MELISSA HOWELL
From about eight years old I was always making things on the sewing machine. Friends would see me ma...
MELISSA GEORGE
We had a great time on the floor, though we had a few bobbles. We were so relaxed. By that time, we ...
MELISSA ARMS
I think they both are strong contenders especially with what they did this weekend.
MELISSA ARMS
I think it was a real advantage having tough judges tonight because we're heading into the states. T...
MELISSA ARMS
We're losing a lot of talent.
MELISSA ARMS
We had a lot of confidence coming in. I told them to treat it like a championship but to have fun.
MELISSA ARMS
Kim couldn't have done that routine better. She had a great week at practice and came in very confid...
MELISSA ARMS
Branford is a team that is trying to build. But we had some highlights. We had Alyssa back, and she ...
MELISSA ARMS
Heather tried a more difficult first pass on floor. It's a big risk, and it could have a big payoff....
MELISSA ARMS
Finally. Finally. She [Strickland] finally broke the barrier. She was sick, and she's finally starti...
MELISSA ARMS
I'm very pleased...It's awesome! We weren't expecting anything and we wanted to go out and be proud ...
MELISSA ARMS
After graduation I plan on substituting in Jackson Township schools as an elementary school teacher....
MELISSA ALLEN
We are in the process of building a church. Hopefully this way we can start out doing good works on ...
MELISSA ALLEN
We put a bite of food from every dish onto each plate and when they've gone through the line, their ...
MELISSA ALLEN
Last year was huge. It's probably the biggest fundraiser we've ever done for the Family Life Center....
MELISSA ALLEN
It's a little bigger this year. I think the teachers are getting more involved and are encouraging t...
MELISSA ALLEN