FastSaying

Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedians were old men in suits talking about their wives.


Natasha Leggero

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JERRY SEINFELD I used to devour a lot of stand-up comedy in my cousin's basement. He had cable and I didn't...
SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO I didn't really like the aloneness of doing stand-up. The comedians by nature weren't very -...
STEVE BUSCEMI I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to ha...
JACK WHITEHALL But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an ...
DEMETRI MARTIN I grew up in a family where the women were just nuts. They didn't stand around in cardigans maki...
NADIA GIOSIA I've been on the floor and I've been heartbroken. I didn't know how I was going to stand...
SANDRA BULLOCK My dad was pretty strict. We didn't even get to watch any of his movies until I was, like, 17 ye...
DAMON WAYANS, JR. I made it about a three-day weekend so people wouldn't have to change their clothes a lot. We di...
JOHN SAYLES Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because they ...
JAM MASTER JAY In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be...
EDDIE IZZARD When I started comedy, I was a big Eddie Murphy fan. I thought if you did stand-up, you were suppose...
LIL REL HOWERY I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, ...
JIM GAFFIGAN I grew up in the Midwest, so we really didn't have much hockey going on.
BILL GOLDBERG And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the ...
DEMETRI MARTIN Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight.
BOB MARLEY When I read Katana's run in 'Birds of Prey,' I was curious about her restraint. She didn...
ANN NOCENTI I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedia...
DEMETRI MARTIN I just can't stand being in airports anymore. I just can't stand it.
BILL MEDLEY I enjoyed the Hee Haw people, but from 1980 on I didn't enjoy it and thought about leavin', ...
BUCK OWENS I love edgy comedy. 'Coming to America' still gets me and 'Friday.' I watch old Rich...
TAMRON HALL I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
GEORGE LOPEZ We didn't ever want 'Tarzan' to feel like he was just a man. We didn't want him to s...
KEVIN LIMA I always hated my mole growing up. I even thought about having it removed. At the time I didn't ...
NIKI TAYLOR The most interesting letters I received about 'The Name of the Rose' were from people in the...
UMBERTO ECO I started to realize that comedy is what I really wanted to do, but I didn't want to do stand-up...
D'ARCY CARDEN I was brought up on Dickens. I remember reading 'Bleak House' but, coming back to it, I didn...
BURN GORMAN I don't know why I always end up talking about my relationships. I try not to.
DAVID ARQUETTE I don't worry about protein. I don't worry about all that. I'm from old school. I grew u...
HERSCHEL WALKER I never thought about being a writer as I grew up. A writer wasn't something I wanted to be. An ...
JOHN SAYLES I would have liked us to finish in first place and me play a little better individually. I'm happy w...
DAVID PAK I didn't know anything about writing a screenplay, but somehow I ended up rewriting a screenplay...
KATE DICAMILLO People need to stand up for their wrongs, as they stand up for their rights.
ANTHONY LICCIONE We asked ourselves what we wanted this company to stand for. We didn't want to just sell shoes. ...
TONY HSIEH During my stage shows, I am so energetic. It's constant! I just don't stand still. I actuall...
JESSIE J You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up...
BILLY GARDELL I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phylli...
WENDY LIEBMAN Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else'...
CHELSEA HANDLER I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-...
STEVEN WRIGHT Growing up, I didn't really know who the Tuskegee Airmen were.
ANTHONY HEMINGWAY I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane b...
LEWIS BLACK It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're wri...
RACHEL WEISZ I terminated the interview when I didn't know what he was talking about and went upstairs to lun...
GRAHAM KENNEDY I try to block it out of my mind. I have not been thinking about it, just, you know, sitting up ther...
CYNTHIA MCFADDEN Growing up, I didn't know anybody who didn't have a miner in the family. Both of my grandfat...
JENNIFER HAIGH Anna Katherine Green wrote about a female inquiry agent, and there were a scattering of female inves...
MARCIA MULLER With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
AZIZ ANSARI Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That&#...
AL PACINO The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizin...
KUNAL NAYYAR I wanna talk to the black men in here, you know what I mean? Black men in here that are coming up in...
OBIE TRICE When we're talking about brand, we're talking about what does the brand stand for. And when ...
JOHN QUELCH She teaches me to be kind, punctual... and to stand up for myself. And when I think about it, aren&#...
KAIA GERBER I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to ...
ADAM DEVINE I grew up in the middle of dairy country in Wisconsin, about as far from any major metropolitan area...
DAVID WROBLEWSKI I always stand up for what I believe and what I want to.
FOREST WHITAKER People called me a hoodlum and a thug. But they didn't tell you I was a carpenter, an architect,...
BOBBY SEALE I waddled in about 7:30 in the morning, and I could barely stand up for the kickoff.
MAX MCGEE I didn't dictate sections of 'Visions of Cody.' I typed up a segment of taped conversati...
JACK KEROUAC I just feel my vote is my own business until I stand up in the House. I honestly didn't make up my m...
CHUCK CADMAN I did stand-up for a good number of years while I was still living in New York, and those people pri...
SAMM LEVINE There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, t...
NORM MACDONALD I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I kn...
SCOTT AUKERMAN One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I'm a comedian, which I'm not. A comedian...
EUGENE LEVY I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.
CAROL BURNETT Scorsese would talk to me about this movie 'The Heiress' with Olivia de Havilland. We were t...
WINONA RYDER I do think all art is autobiographical, and I do think I know quite a bit about women. I don't k...
GLORIA VANDERBILT I have thought about the next steps, and you know, they still don't know that I can dance. They ...
NAIMA ADEDAPO I can't stand Anne Tyler books, but I gobble them up. It's like Updike - I can't stand h...
CAROLINE THOMPSON What I didn't know was that if I didn't stand with my back to the wall, Hollywood people wou...
JOSEPH WAMBAUGH I wasn't naive, but at the end of my Miss America year, when two different executives attacked m...
GRETCHEN CARLSON As an artist, I gotta stand up to my own work.
EDWARD RUSCHA I suddenly realized that the fellow who didn't show up was getting about fifty-times more money ...
GLENN FORD I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, s...
DEMETRI MARTIN We were talking about how old quarterbacks can't throw before 10 am... Practice starts too early...
DAN MARINO I wasn't very good as a puppet. A lot of times in a movie, you need a really good puppeteer: you...
DANA CARVEY No small part of the club's audience consisted of would-be comics, as well as the leading comics of ...
KLIPH NESTEROFF I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes p...
JACKIE MASON I don't know if I'm so much fueled by trying to one-up myself so much as passionate about co...
DEAN KARNAZES You cannot just switch football on and off; it's intense. There were times when I probably shoul...
DAVID DUNN I grew up an only child, and I always felt as if I didn't fit in. In middle school, in grammar s...
SHANICE WILLIAMS I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecture...
ALLAN CARR I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
BERNARD MANNING I thought of such Christian inventions as the ghetto and the Jewish badge of shame. The Nazis didn&#...
LIONEL BLUE My inner critic who had begun piping up about how hopeless I was and how I didn't know to write.
MARY GARDEN I can't stand the club scene. It's all about impressing people.
CHRISTINE TAYLOR I was a very special child. I did stand-up comedy. I did it all. My family didn't understand. &#...
ALESSANDRA TORRESANI I don't come from a comedy background or a stand-up background, but I think that sometimes there...
DARREN BOYD I haven't worked enough to worry about getting typecast, but I do as a film lover didn't wan...
ALDEN EHRENREICH I'm just growing old, darling. I don't know about gracefully.
JUDY PARFITT When I have a bad day, I dream about opening up a gelato stand on the streets of Sydney, Australia. ...
NANCY LUBLIN I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I gre...
SARAH SILVERMAN I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They'...
DENNIS MILLER I didn't know anything about writers. It never occurred to me they were regular people and that ...
JUDY BLUME I've been doing stand-up just about every night since I started in 1989. It's my home base. ...
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stan...
ROBIN WILLIAMS I'm not going to freeze under the pressure. I'm hoping I can stand up to it.
CARLY RAE JEPSEN I use to stand up for what I believe, now, I believe in what I stand up for.
MARIE-SUZANNE LABELLE (A.K.A MARIE-SUE) I can't stand folk who are all snobby about reality TV.
JENNY ECLAIR When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about pro...
AL FRANKEN

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NATASHA LITTLE It might be quite boring if you did something and thought it was perfect.
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NATASHA BEDINGFIELD My family comes from New Zealand, but I'm a London girl. I was born and raised in London, but I&...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD I did actually like school. When I was 17, I was in college, but before that, I was home-schooled. I...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD I know I should keep this a secret, but Celine Dion is something of an icon to me.
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD The music technology scene is changing so fast it's hard to keep up.
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD Music is a very powerful thing. If I'm angry, I can write a song about it, and it seems to make ...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD People don't listen to one radio station. On iTunes you can mix different worlds and bring count...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD A lot of my songs are about taking whatever life throws at you and making the most of it.
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD I don't want to be the next anyone. I just want to be me, now. And that means all different thin...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD I liked English and art and did a lot of painting. And for some reason I was good at math, but I was...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD I'm the diva from the future. The next gig's on the moon. Catch me while you can.
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD Luck is being in the right place at the right time, but location and timing are to some extent under...
NATASHA JOSEFOWITZ What is luck? It is not only chance, it is also creating the opportunity, recognizing it when it is ...
NATASHA JOSEFOWITZ Without a goal to work toward, we will not get there.
NATASHA JOSEFOWITZ My obsessions stay the same - historical memory and historical erasure. I am particularly interested...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY I'm not someone who went to acting school - I was just out of the gate, doing it.
NATASHA LYONNE When I write notes in my journal, I'm just trying to scribble down as much as possible. Later on...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY When Mathematics unfold through Origamis,
when video games target Medicine and Education,
NATASHA TSAKOS I got a job as soon as I could - 11 or 12. I started babysitting and then I got a part-time job at a...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD That's usually how I get to know strangers - get inappropriately touchy. Once they've experi...
NATASHA LYONNE People always want to be on the right side of history; it is a lot easier to say, 'What an atroc...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY I love arranging my music, not in alphabetical order but by mood, creating playlists for when I have...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD Every four weeks I go up a bra size... it's worth being pregnant just for the breasts.
NATASHA HAMILTON As a teenager I had friends who had little music studios in their bedrooms and garages. I'd go a...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD The only thing I knew was that I would give myself permission to imagine anything, and reverse engin...
NATASHA TSAKOS In the early 1970s in Atlanta, I attended what had formerly been an all-white school but had become ...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY No one else can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with a...
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD There are beauty icons that I can never be like, sorta like a Gena Rowlands - I'll never have th...
NATASHA LYONNE 'Memory.' 'Race.' 'Murder.' That's what they say about me. I am an elegi...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY When kids look at broccoli, they call it 'little trees,' because they see it not just for th...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY He is the definition of sexy. This is a guy who is very confident with both his feminine and masculi...
NATASHA TERRY Get this under control as soon as you can young lady, because no one here gives a damn about your un...
NATASHA LARRY How the hell am I supposed to respect someone who sold herself to the highest bidder?" he growled wi...
NATASHA ANDERS Suddenly it felt like there was a ticking time bomb in the house. I didn’t have all the time in th...
NATASHA ANDERS She's probably with the wrong crowd. She picked up the liver thing in Bulgaria during 'The Grey Zone...
NATASHA LYONNE She'd done it again... killed another monster with his own sins.
NATASHA LARRY Haylee thought of all the supernatural creatures that could kill her... a vampire or even a vampire ...
NATASHA LARRY Well, of course. But, we already knew that. I mean... I am kind of a big deal-Matt Carter
NATASHA LARRY One of two historically African American communities that sprang up along the Mississippi Gulf Coast...
NATASHA TRETHEWEY Be inspired by things in life that are beautiful and good.
NATASHA VANDERLINDEN An attempt to resolve what the mind considers to be an irresolvable issue, creates a third option. I...
NATASHA DEANE