Contrary to popular belief, Oxford has the highest concentration of dull-witted, stupid, narrow-minded people anywhere in the British Isles.

When I'm working I'm wishing I was doing nothing and when I'm doing nothing I'm wondering if I should be working. I hurry through what I've got to do and then, when I've got nothing to do, I keep glancing at the clock, wishing it was time to go out. Then, when I'm out, I'm wondering how long it will be before I'm back home.

Contrary to popular belief, Americans don't hate advertising.

A narrow mind and a fat head invariably come on the same person.

The most learned are often the most narrow minded.

In many ways, I was a typical young guy out of college. I was at Oxford, where every night there'd be a late showing of some great film.