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DISABUSE, v.t. The present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed it advantageous to embrace.


Ambrose Bierce

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There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT One must complete the past to embrace the future, however to embrace the future one must forgive the...
CAITLIN D'ONOFRIO Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit t...
EMILY GIFFIN The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H. L. MENCKEN The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H. L. MENCKEN The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H.L. MENCKEN One geometry cannot be more true than another; it can only be more convenient. Geometry is not true,...
ROBERT M. PIRSIG The United States of America was originally an experiment. But it was an experiment in recognizing G...
MIKE HUCKABEE The flaw which is hidden is deemed greater than it is
MARCUS AURELIUS It is better to be a has-been than a never-was.
C. NORTHCOTE PARKINSON Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY Embrace failure! when an error is made don't dwell on the mistake, celebrate the effort to make it b...
ARLEEN PETERSON Dive into the river of the present, but don't thrash about, go with the flow.
JIM GENOVESE EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a ...
AMBROSE BIERCE One must complete the Past to embrace the Future, however, to embrace the Future one must first forg...
CAITLIN D'ONOFRIO The most interesting aspect for me, composing exclusively with patterns, is that there is not one or...
MORTON FELDMAN Cleanliness is a good thing, which the society should embrace. But it has nothing to do with Modi, n...
KAPIL SIBAL You are better than your past, greater than your present, and brighter than your future.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE Don’t spend precious time pondering the past. Leave your old emotional baggage behind, embrace the...
VIKRANT PARSAI You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the pr...
JAN GLIDWELL You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the pr...
JAN GLIDEWELL ‎You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the...
JAN GLIDEWELL It is one thing to show a man that he is in an error, and another to put him in possession of the tr...
JOHN LOCKE Remember, it's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
TINY TIM Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over.
RICHARD CARLSON Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than the one who is never in doubt.
ERIC SEVAREID One may define flattery as a base companionship which is most advantageous to the flatterer.
THEOPHRASTUS Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased, / And surely what comes after is bette...
QURAN He's one of us. He makes you feel like he's your neighbor or your friend. Other than that he's just ...
JUSTIN LEONARD For he to whom the present is the only thing that is present, knows nothing of the age in which he l...
OSCAR WILDE It is one thing to show a man that he is in an error, and another to put him in possession of truth
JOHN LOCKE 37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married.
JAMES C. DOBSON Everyone has a gift.
It's up to you to decide what you do with it.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS The only way to make your dreams a reality is to live your truth. To embrace your truth, and embrace...
DRAGOS BRATASANU Stop running from me and listen. I do want you. I want you even knowing if I marry you, I’ve got a...
LISA KLEYPAS Bhutan - having looked at its neighbor, Nepal, which is overpopulated, has ruined its environment an...
GEORGE ARCHIBALD It is not advantageous for Russia in its present state to fight against Chechnya. The army is a mess...
ASLAN MASKHADOV The whole soul is in the whole body, in the bones and in the veins and in the heart; it is no more p...
GIORDANO BRUNO ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
AMBROSE BIERCE I don't really think about anything too much. I live in the present. I move on. I don't think about ...
PAMELA ANDERSON We have to live in the present. I was very focused and I knew what I had to do to beat him. At the m...
TOMMY ROBREDO The team is really focused and they are expecting a lot inthe present, ... But asalways, you just ne...
BOB HAMMOND It is easier to love humanity than to love your neighbor.
ERIC HOFFER Now is everything
Now is the essence
Now is the focus
Focus on the now
For that ...
KAREN HACKEL If a man decides that it is better for him to resist the demands of a present feeble love, in the na...
LEO TOLSTOY There outside there is a lot of stuff which you learn, the clock illusion, that you live in the past...
DEYTH BANGER I think he has the ability to play much better than he has been. This is another guy who has to unde...
GIL BRANDT For the case that one thinks he has plateaued in life, God has already set yet another peak for him ...
CRISS JAMI Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over.
RICHARD CARLSON The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON Do you know a better time than the present for igniting your dreams?
CAROLYN TODY It is better to correct your own faults than those of another.
DEMOCRITUS In all science error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last
HORACE WALPOLE In all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last.
HORACE WALPOLE I like to think I'm a good mechanic for the company. 'Oh well, we sprung a leak? Call Ambros...
DEAN AMBROSE When you embrace the things you do not understand, you understand what is embraced
JOHN M SHEEHAN It is better to be divided by truth than united in error.
BRUCE BICKEL One world leader warned another "the error of relying on the capability you have rather than develop...
RON SUSKIND The program of A.A., as written by Bill Wilson and Dr. Smith, only has one purpose: to get you sober...
SUSAN CHEEVER In vain will you fly from one vice if in your wilfulness you embrace another.
UNKNOWN If the operation of this centre is deemed to be successful, we'll then discuss with our dealers whet...
DAIZO ITO When men, lost in the devious ways of error and self, have forgotten the "heavenly birth," ... they ...
JAMES ALLEN Creating a better world requires teamwork, partnerships, and collaboration, as we need an entire arm...
SIMON MAINWARING Your past is important but it is not nearly as important to your present as the way you see your fut...
TONY CAMPOLO Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
JOAN RIVERS The present is never our goal: the past and present are our means: the future alone is our goal. Thu...
BLAISE PASCAL You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fool...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU These days man knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
OSCAR WILDE The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by th...
EMMET FOX The times are not so bad as they seem; they couldn't be
JAY FRANKLIN Wasn't that what religions did? Squint at one another and declare, 'My unprovable belief is better t...
LAINI TAYLOR I think it was much better when you got on your horse and rode two miles to talk to your neighbor.
LAURA SCHLESSINGER Imagine the peace symbol. The peace symbol has three pieces in it. One piece is emotion, that's your...
GARY BUSEY Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up.
CASEY STENGEL The one big strategic error -- which was a political error and an economic error of grand proportion...
DAVID KEENE The one big strategic error - which was a political error and an economic error of grand proportions...
DAVID KEENE There exists a black kingdom which the eyes of man avoid because its landscape fails signally to fla...
LOUIS ARAGON It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that...
ADRIAN ROGERS destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to e...
C.S. LEWIS Embrace your loved one, no matter what has happened, forgive and make peace.
ARTHLENE LAUDAT LAWRENCE No one is better born than another, unless they are born with better abilities and a more amiable di...
SENECA (SENECA THE ELDER) No one is better born than another, unless they are born with better abilities and a more amiable di...
SENECA Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the no...
G. K. CHESTERTON This tendency to make laws that are convenient or advantageous rather than right has mushroomed.
JOHN HOWARD GRIFFIN When one neighbor helps another, we strengthen our communities.
JENNIFER PAHLKA The past,' he thought, 'is linked with the present by an unbroken chain of events flowing one out of...
ANTON CHEKHOV Your future must be better than your past, and your present. If it is not so then you did not sow a ...
WISDOM ATTAH ELORM Let no one expect anything of certainty from astronomy, lest if anyone take as true that which has b...
COPERNICUS Slavery is no more sinful, by the Christian code, than it is sinful to wear a whole coat, while anot...
JAMES FENIMORE COOPER Slavery is no more sinful, by the Christian code, than it is sinful to wear a whole coat, while anot...
JAMES F. COOPER This earthly life is a battle,' said Ma. 'If it isn't one thing to contend with, it's another. It al...
LAURA INGALLS WILDER To be street smart it takes respect of a persons ability to control their emotional state and to kno...
GARY F EVANS... Feast of the Birth of John the Baptist The Present is the point at which Time touches Eternity. ...
C. S. LEWIS You want to talk about a matter of inches. No one was more distraught than Ambrose after that game.
CHARLIE WEIS Any one reflecting upon the thought he has of the delight, which any present or absent thing is apt ...
JOHN LOCKE Imagine the peace symbol. The peace symbol has three pieces in it. One piece is emotion, that's ...
GARY BUSEY There are things that once done can’t be undone, things that once said can’t be unsaid.
LISA GARDNER

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE