Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.

Rory: "People are being serious."

Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious."

Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?"

Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that."

Rory: "But still, what are the chances?"

Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one."

Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--"

Jazza: "You really need another hobby.

I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.

Lecturing Brooks was as useful as lecturing a cat.

Did you ask people to crime scenes on dates?