December 27, 11:00 p.m. My Dear America, I’ve never written a love letter, so forgive me if I fail now. . . . The simple thing would be to say that I love you. But, in truth, it’s so much more than that. I want you, America. I need you. I’ve held back so much from you out of fear. I’m afraid that if I show you everything at once, it will overwhelm you, and you’ll run away. I’m afraid that somewhere in the back of your heart is a love for someone else that will never die. I’m afraid that I will make a mistake again, something so huge that you retreat into that silent world of yours. No scolding from a tutor, no lashing from my father, no isolation in my youth has ever hurt me so much as you separating yourself from me. I keep thinking that it’s there, waiting to come back and strike me. So I’ve held on to all my options, fearing that the moment I wipe them away, you will be standing there with your arms closed, happy to be my friend but unable to be my equal, my queen, my wife. And for you to be my wife is all I want in the world. I love you. I was afraid to admit it for a long time, but I know it now. I would never rejoice in the loss of your father, the sadness you’ve felt since he passed, or the emptiness I’ve experienced since you left. But I’m so grateful that you had to go. I’m not sure how long it would have taken for me to figure this out if I hadn’t had to start trying to imagine a life without you. I know now, with absolute certainty, that is nothing I want. I wish I was as true an artist as you so that I could find a way to tell you what you’ve become to me. America, my love, you are sunlight falling through trees. You are laughter that breaks through sadness. You are the breeze on a too-warm day. You are clarity in the midst of confusion. You are not the world, but you are everything that makes the world good. Without you, my life would still exist, but that’s all it would manage to do. You said that to get things right one of us would have to take a leap of faith. I think I’ve discovered the canyon that must be leaped, and I hope to find you waiting for me on the other side. I love you, America. Yours forever, Maxon
Kiera Cass
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More Kiera Cass
You get confused by crying women, I get confused by walks with princes. KIERA CASS It turns out I'm absolutely terrible at staying away from you. It's a very serious problem. KIERA CASS Maxon: “To be clear, no one agrees with you.” America: “To be clear, I don’t care... KIERA CASS You’ve changed me forever. And I’ll never forget you. KIERA CASS I will never forget your fire. I can't wait to see what you do. KIERA CASS America Singer, one day you will fall asleep in my arms every night. And you'll wake up to my kisses... KIERA CASS America, my love, you are sunlight falling through trees. You are laughter that breaks through sadne... KIERA CASS Love is beautiful fear KIERA CASS It's always the fear of looking stupid that stops you from being awesome. KIERA CASS No, I’m not choosing him or you. I’m choosing me. KIERA CASS The best people all have some kind of scar. KIERA CASS I hope you find someone you can't live without.I really do. And I hope you never have to know what i... 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I was going to be its center. KIERA CASS Love only yourself a little bit longer, until you can't stand not to love someone else. KIERA CASS You are not the world, but you are everything that makes the world good. KIERA CASS Beauty is subjective. You know how sometimes what makes a person attractive is the way they make you... KIERA CASS Maxon lowered his lips to mine and gave me the faintest whisper of a kiss. Something abou... KIERA CASS I couldn't joke about the person who'd saved me from facing absolute heartbreak at home, who fed my ... KIERA CASS Whatever happened, I'd met my person, the one my soul connected to. KIERA CASS In those seconds, I was mourning everything I'd lost. How I'd never get to see you walk down an aisl... KIERA CASS I sighed. "Actually, Mom, we argue pretty regularly." "What?" She gaped at me. "Well, stop it!... KIERA CASS For a small period of time, she was the only one who understood what I was feeling. She made me feel... KIERA CASS I kept waiting for something to happen, which isn't how life works. In closed environments, everythi... KIERA CASS I'm not sure what it is, but you look like you've made and broken a lot of things and then made them... KIERA CASS Sometimes you have to give the hurt a noise and let it out. If you don’t, it fills you up with its... KIERA CASS I instantly dragged my fingers across a shelf of book spines, in love with each one already. Books w... KIERA CASS We were stars, we were music, we were time. KIERA CASS Wanting to cry doesn't mean you can. KIERA CASS Books were a safe place, a world apart from my own. No matter what had happened that day, that year,... KIERA CASS Do you think the ability to sleep in counts as a special skill?” I asked Dad, trying to sound torn... KIERA CASS He stood and went to read my pin as I approached. “America, is it?” he said, a smile playing on ... KIERA CASS There are some things you don't learn about yourself until you let someone else into the most intima... KIERA CASS I cannot explain how two souls join. No man or element or god ever could. But you are tied to each o... KIERA CASS Something about being that close to him all the time made my bones feel weak. KIERA CASS I was stunned into silence, the way I always was when he touched the sky places of my heart. KIERA CASS I looked at his face, unsure of how many more of his smiles I'd have. KIERA CASS We'll when he lets his guard down he's okay. Like when he just talks without checking his words or y... KIERA CASS [But] I have come across anything so painfully beautiful as that kiss. I wish it was something I cou... KIERA CASS What are these?" Maxon asked, brushing across the tips of my fingers as we walked. "Calluses. T... KIERA CASS I only wish I knew that you'd actually want to be with me when that time is over. KIERA CASS It's hard to get a hug wrong. 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KIERA CASS I never thought to question the lack of truth until it had been placed in front of me. Why did the k... KIERA CASS Sence," diye sordu Maxon, "Sana hâlâ 'tatlım' diyebilir miyim?" "Hiç şansın yok," diye f... KIERA CASS Some see a weed; some see a flower. Perspective. KIERA CASS You have to embrace the idea of imperfection, even in the thing that is most perfect for you. KIERA CASS I do intend on giving you things, but that's not what I mean. I'm going to love you more that any ma... KIERA CASS I always wondered if they’d change you. KIERA CASS If me dying meant you living, how could that be anything but good? KIERA CASS I looked down at America, who was now poking her cheeks with her fingers, seemingly just so she coul... KIERA CASS You're a hero of the quietest and most genuine nature" -Aspen (to Lucy) KIERA CASS He was control to her chaos, she was levity to his seriousness. KIERA CASS It's just the way it is. The sky is blue, the sun is bright and Aspen endlessly loves America. It's ... KIERA CASS You know, I once read a book about people who practiced polygamy. One man with several wives. Crazy.... KIERA CASS Eh. Everything doesn’t seem like anything when you love someone. Especially when you’re young.�... KIERA CASS I love you, Lucy. You take care of me, I take care of you"? -Aspen "It wasn't a promise, ... KIERA CASS I’d studied her face in a dozen shades of light, in a thousand stolen moments. KIERA CASS America was sleeping when I crept into the hospital wing that night. She was cleaner, but her face s... KIERA CASS It was completely fascinating to me the way that love grew. I kept thinking I'd found a way to give ... KIERA CASS Was that my voice? Really? I sounded like a five-year-old girl with a smoking problem. KIERA CASS For the first time maybe ever, it didn't matter if I looked beautiful or not. I felt it. KIERA CASS I'm not so stupid as to believe that you've completely forgotten about your former boyfriend. I know... KIERA CASS Bravery hides in amazing places. KIERA CASS I’m so happy to be back here. You’re nice and quiet. Her waters stirred in somethi... KIERA CASS Let her go!" That was a new voice, young but full of authority. ... There was Prince Maxon. ...... KIERA CASS Would you like me to let you go home to your love today?" he asked. It was obvious that my preferenc... KIERA CASS You are not the world, but you are everything that makes the world good. Without you, my life would ... KIERA CASS Maybe it's not the first kisses that are supposed to be special. Maybe it's the last ones. KIERA CASS I didn’t realize you thought I was so flawed.” I stood, turning away. “Eadlyn, that’s n... KIERA CASS Love did nothing but break down defenses, and I could not afford that. KIERA CASS I kept thinking that I couldn't live my life for other people, that love was nothing but chains. And... KIERA CASS There are some things you don't learn about yourself until you let someone else into the most intima... KIERA CASS My dad was a rebel. A half-destroyed history book hidden in his room, friends at his funeral I knew ... KIERA CASS Do you think," Maxon asked, "that I could still call you 'my dear'?" "Not a chance," I whispere... KIERA CASS So, buddy… KIERA CASS The Swendish queen— whose name I couldn’t pronounce to save my life. KIERA CASS One can never help being born into perfection. KIERA CASS I was nearly attacked. All because I missed your smell. KIERA CASS . . . It’s me?” “Of course it’s you. KIERA CASS I want everything with you, America. I want the holidays and the birthdays, the busy season and lazy... KIERA CASS America: You didn't have to do that. Maxon: I know. But sometimes it's about what you want to d... KIERA CASS And there we were, in the background of it all, holding on to one another. The Perfectionist, the Sw... KIERA CASS I nodded. “I’m sorry I let you down.” “No, no, dear,” she said, turning forward... KIERA CASS When you love someone, you sacrifice. KIERA CASS Lowering my gaze , I walked to my seat, settling in next to Kriss. "Seriously America?" she whi... KIERA CASS Maxon, some of those marks are on your back so they wouldn’t be on mine, and I love you for them.�... KIERA CASS I'll love you until my very last breath. Every beat of my heart is yours. I don't want to die withou... KIERA CASS You are Eadlyn Schreave. You are the next person in line to run this country, and you will be the KIERA CASS It was a delicious feeling, falling in love. KIERA CASS, THE CROWN Happily ever after could be waiting in a field a mile wide. Or a window as narrow as seven minutes. KIERA CASS, THE CROWN