Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.